Author Archives: nlpnowcom

Afternoon Tea at the Ritz

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I love working with the participants learning English language in Turkey. I admire the effort and time each puts into the process.

The best way to learn a language is to be fully absorbed in that language you wish to learn, now, our participants spend nine days, from 9am to 9pm with us. Not quite fully absorbed but early.

I try and get the participants to speak at all times in English, lunch, tea/coffee breaks, all the time, even threatening them with a fine of 1 Turkish Lira each time I catch them speaking their own language.

I know I will get a chocolate cake with the proceeds at the end of the course as I sneak-up on them.

As I am watching what I eat, perhaps chocolate cake is something I should not eat, so why not wet their appetite.

How about if I offer afternoon tea at the Ritz Hotel in London.

The Ritz Hotel London

So, if any English language participant visits London, I will take you to the Ritz Hotel and give you tea and cakes in the afternoon, a very British thing.

We can have scones with strawberry jam and clotted cream, not good for the diet, but tastes great. We can have cheese and cucumber sandwiches, with the crusts, the est bit of a sandwich cut off. And of course, he cu of tea with milk in a china cup.

I have already taught some of the participants in preparation to the visit to the Ritz, how to hold the little finger, or as we call it in Britain the pinky. As one holds the cup by the handle, the pinky should be held straight so it sticks out.

But, the other requirement is that as I speak no other language other than English, they will have to speak English to me and the waiters.

After afternoon tea, we will have to walk off the calories, so an easy walk from the Ritz Hotel, via Saint James the home of Prince Charles will lead us to Buckingham Palace, where we can see the Changing of the Guards, through Hyde Park to Horse Guards Parade with the soldiers in their various styles of uniforms, past number 10 Downing Street, he home of the British Prime Minister, and on to The Houses of Parliament and Big Ben with its’ special chimes known the world over.

Buckingham Place

The Mall gardens

Horse Guards
Houses of parliament and Big Ben

It could be a costly offer for me. But they are great people.

Kingston upon Thames, yes we drive on the correct side of the road.

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I find walking a very relaxing pastime, I can think, watch the world, plan.

The Royal Borough of Kingston upon Thames where I live, or really I live in a area called Norbiton, dates back over a thousand years.

The original coronation stone where they crowned seven Saxon Kings of England is here, thus Kings Stone. From 8th June 900 until 979, Edward the Elder, Athelsen, Edmund, Edred, Edwy, Edward the Martyr, and Ethelred II the Unready, are said to have used this stone to be crowned. Near the stone is the bridge Clattern Bridge, its’ name probably derived from the word clatter when the horses and carts crossed it centuries ago.

The Kings Stone use to Crown early Kings of England with Clattern Bridge, Kingston upon ThamesThe Coronation Stone, the Kings Stone
Boats on the River Thames, Kingston upon ThamesBoats on the River Thames in Kingston upon Thames

There River Thames flows through the town, not as wide or as busy as the Bosphorus in Istanbul, and the bridge is not as large, but there are boats to see and lots of swans and other water fowl.

Eating places leading to the River Thames, KingstonEating out in Kingston upon Thames
The Old Market Square, Kingston upon ThamesThe Market Square Kingston upon Thames

People enjoy the street cafés and restaurants, relaxing and chatting, pity I must watch what I eat now.

Market Square, Kingston upon ThamesThe Old Market Hall Kingston upon Thames
Market Stall Shopping, Kingston upon ThamesThe fruit and veg market, Kingston upon Thames

The old town square and has a statue of Queen Victoria in gold “leaf” high on the Old Market Hall building, and another statue marking the work of the Mayor of Kingston Henry Shrubsole who died in 1880. Market traders sell their fresh fruit and vegetables, but they seem to have a wider range of stock than that I saw last week in Kadikoy. People enjoy a snack and coffee whilst a new water fountain plays in the background.

Traffic free shopping, Kingston upon ThamesTraffic free shopping in Kingston upon Thames
Out of Order by David Mach, Kingston upon ThamesOut of Order by David Mach
Old London Road, Kingston upon Thames

I suppose we also have our own Taxim Hill, the pedestrian only shopping area, but one thing old we have that you will not have are the phone boxes named Out of Order by David Mach. I think a good way to use unwanted old telephone boxes in Old London Road.


London Road Norbiton Hallhere).

Read what I found out about the history of Norbiton Hall. (click here).                                                    index

RELAX

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Monday was taken-up with travel and rest.

Many of the people who know me say to take it easy, well I did, I had to, as I was too tired, I only needed to sit down and I fell asleep.

Participants do not believe me when I say I am an introvert, as they see a different person on stage. A trainer who is not afraid to use his voice, body, stories, anything to teach the subject matter.

A strategy I teach the English language participants is to imagine themselves as an actor or actress.

In the latest James Bond film Casino Royale, Daniel Craig became James Bond, he took on the persona, the voice, the stature, the clothes, the look. Like all great actors he became the character in real life whilst being filmed.

That is what happens to me. I put on the trainers shoes, clothes persona.

When I finish the last day, and it is time to tidy up, put away the equipment I have used ready for the next course, it is at that time my mind and body switches off.

Today I am switched off. I will go for walks to my town center, Kingston upon Thames, UK.

 

My Trousers are Undone

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An early start to a return home to the UK.

It has been a long journey this trip to Turkey. There has been many frustrations, many long hours often in front of participants from 9am till 7pm, with half an hours lunch break, there have been things that have not gone well, or have caused me problems, but there has been even more good times.

I must concentrate on the good times, if you dwell on the bad, that is how you see your journey through life.

I have had good courses, there could have been more participants, but that is always the case We want more of what we love.

The translators are good. I did not have to concern myself on if the participants understanding me, my complicated language patterns are understood and translated as such. If my translators do not understand, it is my fault, and they can ask for more information, and I get visual, verbal feedback from the participants as we progress through the course together.

More companies want courses from me. That includes re booking by the Turkcell division Global Communications, I must be doing something right. We have had more meetings with prospective companies.

I sing to myself. I FEEL GOOD.

Here in the airport, as I look out of the departure lounge window, the sun is just coming up over the horizon, big and red, in a sky that is changing from a black to a light blue. The cold night air should be replaced soon by a warm day in Istanbul. I trust the tourists have a good day, it is something I do not do, see the sights.

My usual travel pattern is to fly to the country in which the course is being held on the morning or night before, and either leaving straight after the course or the next morning to fly back to the UK. This means I have no problems with jet lag, I just get on with it.

A tip I got from a Virgin Airways captain to overcome jet lag, or perhaps say not to experience it, is to adjust the time on your watch to the tome of the destination country before you board the aircraft, therefore your brain has already adjusted to the new time zone. It works.

Try it you it you might like it.

I am watching the various travelers here. As I approached emigration or passport control, I notice two large parties of travelers, one about thirty Japanese holiday makers, and another thirty Turkish Muslims I would expect going to attend their Hajj.

My luck had changed. I got into the queue waiting to get my passport stamped just before the other travelers got there, but suffered as we edged our way forward to the passport officers booths, the woman behind me was oblivious to the fact she was thrusting her over sized over weight hand luggage into my back and legs.

Why do people insist on carrying this handheld stuff, they struggle to get it into the overhead lockers, they leave it there all the flight, and struggle to get it down on landing. Put it in the hold.  

Whist waiting for the fight to be announced I start this entry of the blog, but nature called, and I go for a pee pee. I then find that I had forgotten to zip my trouser flies, no wonder people looked at me strangely.

My mind struggled with the fact that I had walked through a busy airport with those sixty plus travelers with my flies undone. I swore to myself, and not just “Oh Poo Poo”.

We have to stop this internal voice hat makes us suffer, feel bad, insecure. Treat it the same way it is treating us.

I was very rude to it. I cannot write what I said to that internal voice. It was bad.

It soon shut-up. I began to laugh at myself. At least I had woken a few people up at this early hour, given them a laugh.

But why had not someone said something to me?

Sometimes we do not tell people the truth, or we wait until the last moment to give a message.

Give ourselves and others chance to reconcile and sort issues out at an early stage.

Talk.

Visit I am falling apart article.

The Map is not the Territory

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I got an email from an acquaintance I have known in the NLP field for a long time.

Their first words were:-

        
                “You seem to have diappeared off the map – or is it me that has moved off your radar?”

 

I thought of what I had been doing since we last met, that was a long time ago, I think it was helping (me making tea) another great trainer Michael Breen, at a one day seminar on the works of Moshe Feldenchrist.
 

Well I had not disappeared off the map; in fact my map had expanded since I had last seen them. I had visited many countries, China, Sri Lanka, Malaysia, Italy, Turkey, Peru, Ecuador and Spain to name but a few.

I wondered which map my friend had been looking at.

Had they not seen my emails I had sent about courses I was giving in the UK?

I was sending signals for people’s radar to pick up.

Perhaps it was that this person had some course that needed to publicised, they think they can get some free publicity. As coordinator of the London NLP and Hypnosis Practice Group, there is a large database.

What map where they working from? Was it just a small map, that of the UK, or were they looking at the wider map, the world?

If you go to WH Smith in the UK, D&R in Turkey, or a newspaper shop in your country, you will see many maps, some of the your area, your interest, but mostly maps of different areas all giving different stories, some showing roads, some showing places of interest, some the geography of the area.

Which one do you choose? Do you get the one that is fit for your purpose, that what interests you, or do you look further afield. There is so much out there.

Which map was my friend on, because it was not on mine?

Apart from my hospital stay and recovery, I had been delivering courses around the world, NLP, Hypnosis, Memory, and PhotoReading, Coaching etc, working on people’s personal problems, phobias, and fears, giving the confidence and empowerment. I have had little time free, I was tired, overworked and under paid.

My friend could have looked at my web sites, at the many photographs, they would have seen some of my work  visit (http://www.nlpnow.net).

We must firstly switch-on our radar, then, we must look at what is there. We miss such a lot by not seeing what is there.

Contact someone today, just to say hello.

Give a smile.

We Influence Others

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I am often asked if NLP is manipulative, can it be used to make people do things against their will. The short answer is NO.

Every experience, every learning, either at a conscious or at an unconscious (we are unaware) level, will lay down a memory pathway, whether we remember it or not, it is there. It will be used in the future as a reference, to know what is occurring to us at that time, to make an understanding of the situation.

If we are shown what a car is, our brain will store that information, the next time we are presented with a similar image, our brain will access the previous learning and will make a connection and know the new image is a car.

We are influenced by all our experiences.

Therefore, our whole life will manipulate our very existence, as our experiences, our knowledge or learnings increase.

I came across a client who suddenly became depressed, sad, without the usual energy they usually displayed.

Why the sudden change?

What influenced them to make the sudden change?

There are many factors that could be at play, but on investigation it was found that the client had been in a high state of energy for some time. But, problems had occurred.

The clients partner, a highly qualified professional, was well respected in their trade, and competitive.

The company they worked for provide essential services to the community, and as such, received income from a higher authority for the amount of work they did, and the number of jobs or customers they had on their books.

The systems put in place by the higher authority were not secure enough to stop some abuse, for a company to add more fictitious jobs to their books and exaggerate the amount of work they did. 

Of course, this abuse will be found by the higher authority, and audits and checks would be made on the integrity of all companies work.

My client had worked hard, given true value for money, kept to the rules and was really well liked and respected by the company’s customers. But the company’s management gave false information, well they did not inform the higher authority when their customers no longer were with them, they had left. So their customer list was over inflated, too high.

The management had also failed to keep adequate records of the work carried out by my client’s partner, and a history of work done, although a computer database was available at the time.

My client’s partner was asked to help sort out the problem, the problem that was no fault of theirs.

They set about the task, sorting the problem that had been created by others. My client’s partner was always they to do this and the management knew this. They knew my client’s partner would do this extra work without extra pay, and without complaint.

But there was a deadline, a date when the work the records had to be correct.

My client’s partner worked through the lunch hour, stayed late, became tired, but still that deadline approached and more work needed to be done. So the management brought in extra help, someone not as qualified to do the work, who was slow and did not want to work, and this person experienced the strain, the pressure felt by my client’s partner.

The extra help complained to the management, and started blaming the situation, their stress and inadequacies on anyone but themselves, especially my client’s partner, who had no blame, and done more than expected. The management did not counter the extra helps complaints and comments.

This created a very bad feeling in my client’s partner, so much so that they took their feelings back home with them, and pored them out to my client who tried to console support and advice.

The stress and strain was being experienced by my client, they had too. To understand something you have to process the information.

Do not think of a pink elephant. You have to see a picture in your mind of a pink elephant to understand what was being said.

Thus my client was pulled into the stress and strain, and they were brought down the same depths.

Have you ever been with people who are happy, laughing, what happens to you?

Have you been with people who were sad, depressed. What happens to you?

My client coped well in supporting their partner, they felt the stain but did not show it. But one incident, a misunderstanding maybe of language, perhaps the wrong information was given, and the strength of my client was lost.

We must be aware of how we influence others by our actions, our looks, our words, as everything we do will manipulate the way others see and understand the world around them.

With NLP we can reframe beliefs, understandings, views of the world, to help people see things as they are and not as others see them.

If this is manipulation, to bring happiness and wellbeing, then good.

I FEEL GOOD

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Many of my courses, presentations, speeches and talks I give around the world are given to the public, with attendees ranging from as little as two to many hundreds.

I also give training courses to the corporate world, and for two days this week, I gave two courses of Mind Maps and Memory to a division of the number one mobile telephone company Turkcell here in Turkey. To keep the sixteen people on their toes and interest, I combined to two courses together, something I wish I could do this weekend, because yes I am giving Memory and Mind Maps courses to the public Saturday and Sunday this weekend.

Many corporate courses give problems, in that, the attendees are often sent, not knowing what they are going to be taught, or have no interest in the subject. Perhaps I may have had one or two on this course.

We got off to a good start, but I had to get them used to my voice, as I did not have a translator, they all spoke English, but mine is British English, so some people find it difficult to tune in. Once I had established my voice was being understood, we progressed through the course.

They learnt how to construct Mind Maps (visit http//www.c4mindmaps.com), why they should do this, why the brain needs to be used in a new way, and we looked at situations where they could use Mind Maps.

We also during our time together, learnt how our brain works in respect to remembering and recalling information, that our memory (visit http//www.c4memory.com), is infinite, if only we used it, had new strategies of the World Memory Champions, and Gianni Golfera, the man with the biggest memory.

We learned, we played, we practiced.

At the end of the course, they could remember the sixteen fictitious names they had given themselves, a list of twenty random words given quickly to them, how to remember numbers like telephone numbers, formula, not only after the first exercise, but hours after they had learned the facts, lists or numbers.

It was great at the end of the course for each and every one, to come to me and thank me with a big smile on their face. One person came up to me and said.

   “Some courses you are sent to you know you will not like them, this was one such course, but I found I really enjoyed it and I learnt such a lot, thank you.”   

It is times like this that I get a real buzz, a high, and as James Brown sings:


The same the world over

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Today is a down day.

Everyone should be allowed sometime space to dwell in their own thoughts, to review their life, to review their plans for the future.

Near to the office/school every Tuesday and Friday, there is held a very large market or bazaar. I had not been to this place in all my visits, and I needed to clear my head, relax, to think about the future, which directions should I follow.

I love markets, for here, you see life of the locals living a natural life, going about their daily routines.

Near Cuscu and Lake Titicaca, we were taken to a small town off the tourist trail on the market day. All the women wore the traditional dress, selling food, fresh vegetables, cloth and general goods. 

Our tour members had been “on the road” touring and visiting various places as we traveled from Lima in the north to The Nazca Lines in the south, and we wore typical Western tourist clothes, cameras at the ready, but we were told categorically not to take any photographs, as this was not in and against the culture of the people.

As we wondered through the market, it was us the tourists who were out of place, the aliens, the locals looked at us as we were the odd ones, as if they had never seen Western people before.

I found it exciting to reach out to the people, to communicate with them without the spoken language, and yet be understood, as they wanted contact with me.

Language has never been a barrier, it is just that we misunderstand.

I admire the translators I have worked with, as I have no other language other than English, how do they do the translation? I in my small world cannot comprehend how one can think and process information in another language. Oh the poor education system in the UK when I was at school.

I understand the structure of the English language, but do not ask me about verbs, adverbs etc, I speak English naturally I am a native speaker, the structure is unconscious, implicit. Other languages are structured differently, the word sequence is different, and there are many different meanings for an English word in a foreign language.

We often get a participant who “speaks” or has knowledge of English, say that the translation is wrong, when I know that it is not as I have worked with the translator many times and know their work.

I walked around the local Kadikoy/Istanbul market/bazaar, watching the shoppers, the sellers or stall holders, watch the interaction. I observed the reaction of all, as I walked amongst them, for I look different I am told, I look British, I listen to the stall holders trying to attract my attention, first in Turkish, but getting no reply, trying in English.

Do I look that British?

The fruit and vegetable stall holders take pride in their displays, polishing the apples until they shine, cutting off the dead leaves from the cabbage, stacking the oranges and lemons like the walls of the many palaces that abound in Turkey straight and regimented.

Clothes, dresses, knitwear hang from ropes strung between the stalls, very Turkish styles, perhaps Islamic, yes there is a style that can be seen, not seen in the large shopping centres which cater for the fashion conscious, and seem to be more very Western. Many shops you would find on the British High Street you will find here, Marks and Spencer, Next, Debenhams, Top Shop, all are here.

I lost myself in the market for an hour, with the strong wind playing and pulling at the sheets of plastic they had strung up above the market, it was about to rain, not spending any money, not emptying my mind, but filling it with new experiences which will be used I am sure in future courses.   

I still have no resolve to my thoughts.

English day 5

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Today was nearly a full day away from the office or school.

I was delivering a Mind Map and Memory course at a major communications company in Turkey. Sixteen employees finding out that they can remember 14 random items by just listening to them once, the planets, how to construct a Mind Map as originated by Tony Buzan.

Yes guys I had a burger but not from McDonnell’s, but from a Turkish takeaway.

The English session in the morning of NLP was not run, and due to the course I was running out of the school, but they the participants, had a rest.

They settled down to a lunch time session but I was not there. As they closed their eyes, my voice was with them, we played my CD of The Castle (buy it by clicking here) .

For the evening English session I took the ferry back over the Bosphorus for the installation a very relaxing time.

The drive back to my apartment took nearly two hours, much quicker to take the ferry.

In my mind as we drove back, I thought of those that were doing things I was not, perhaps being with friends eating a meal, something I cannot do, I do not have time, if I did, I would need to relax, but that is seen as not being social, or not etiquette.

Oh Poo Poo My Mission

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Again (see previous blog click here), no matter where I go in the world, things happen. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.

Like we all do, I say words to myself with my internal voice, I talk to myself, especially when things go wrong.

 

We all do it. 

 

Sometimes I say the wrong thing to people, I use the wrong words in my courses, especially when I ask a participant, perhaps when hypnotised, to do something and and they do not respond, I say words in my inner mind that I cannot write here. 

One word I say is “SH-T“. 

I cannot say that word out loud. So I now say “Oh Poo Poo. 

My mission is to get the world to say Oh Poo Poo 

It makes you smile. 

The aggression goes out of the situation. 

The bad feelings go. 

You can deal with the situation.

 

Please tell the world, and send me your Oh Poo Poo experiences, either by sending an email jokes@ohpoopoo.com , or by posting in the guestbook, and help others to smile through their Oh Poo Poo’s.

Why not have a laugh, brighten up your day and others whilst you are at it, visit the jokes and Ironies page. Build more by sending your jokes to jokes@ohpoopoo.com .

Please tell the world, visit the web site http://www.ohpoopoo.com (click).