Category Archives: Phobias

A Long Journey for Coaches in Italy

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Coaching Milan

NLP Coaching participants with Certificates in Italy, Renata Laria, Andrea Gervasini, Franco Di Gilio, Flor Fernandez e Monica, Alessandro Orlando, Claudia Sabatini, Cotardo Giulia, Valeria Sturniolo , Phillip Holt, Marcello Buglione — at Hotel Residence Golf Milano
Life is a journey, and from beginning to end, with many tours to places we never knew about or visited before, we will have many experiences, meet many people, visit many places, some are great, some are bad, and from this journey and side tours, we can learn.
As I travel the world, to many different places, I am being exposed to different cultures, different food, different languages, and in my later years I have endeavoured to learn from these experiences, unlike the younger me who thought he knew everything.
As a younger me, I despised the get rich quickly tour guides who touted on street corners, at tourist attractions, in airport or in hotels, offering their services for a fee to tell you about what I presupposed I already knew. Why should I pay for these leeches when I could walk around myself and find out?
My long lost daughter, Vanessa came to stay with us in our home in Kingston upon Thames, and it was decide that we should go into central London to see the tourist attractions, Big Ben, The Tower of London, Tower Bridge, St. Paul’s Cathedral etc. I knew these places, I had lived and worked in London for over twenty years, why should not I be the guide?
Instead of being the tour guide, we decided that we should take one of the city tour buses.
It was just like when I recently joined an Official Tour Guide of my home town of Kingston upon Thames, a town’s history I had researched, a town I had lived in for many years. I soon realised how much I did not know, there was so much missing information in my knowledge, knowledge that I would need to expand upon and enhance.
So it was in London with my daughter, I learnt so much, little pieces of information adding to my knowledge base, which only got me more interested and intrigued, to go back and research for more knowledge.
When I have time now, which is not very often visiting new or old places, I will often join an official tour, to get to know the basic information of the area, then if I wish, I will revisit where I have been taken to, to discover more, to chunk down, I will buy books, ask questions, just to enhance my knowledge.
And so it was some many months ago, I was invited to give a group of Italian people a range of courses so that they can become coaches, people who can help others enhance their lives.
It was a journey of discovery for them and for me, because I was to be their guide through a learning process, and for them to visit places and knowledge they had not been before, and I had to go there too, and I would be learning too, taking a journey to places inside ourselves often.
To go on a journey within ourselves, our beliefs, our understanding of the world we live in, we might find ourselves challenged as our knowledge as we knew it will have been contradicted.
Were we right, or, is the rest of the world right? Who knows?
It was on this journey with the Italian Coaching participants, that many beliefs were challenged, and if the individuals so wished, changed. It was their willingness to explore new places, revisit places and reevaluate their previous beliefs and knowledge and make changes that made this journey together so enjoyable.
You now have new possibilities or strategies within, use them wisely, and help others on their journey through life.
The truth is out there for us to be guided through our journey, but which is right or wrong only your heart and further knowledge will help.

Coming Courses in Italy and Turkey, November 2012

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 Italian Version    Türkçe versiyonu

I have a number of courses coming up, and for those that follow me, and those who have asked to be informed about future courses here are two I will be giving in Italy and Turkey.



In Italy I will hope to be giving a PhotoReading courses in the near future. If you would like to organise participants to take the 2.5 (two and a half day) course, please contact Phillip Holt.

In Turkey the next PhotoReading course will be 1-2-3 June 2016.

In todays world we are being overwhelmed with written material, perhaps by journals, magazines, manuals, books, emails, and to keep ourselves at the top, with the knowledge needed to compete and exist in our work and social lives.

How can we get through this vast amount of material? By reading more productively.

We can speed up our reading speeds.

We can read more selectively.

We can read only that information that is relevant to our needs or purpose.

On the course I will teach you all the above and more.

Normal reading, we can expect to read at approximately 180 Words Per Minute (WPM) with 60% comprehension.

With speed-reading it is said we can achieve 800 WPM with 60% comprehension.

With PhotoReading we can achieve 20,000 – 30,000 WPM with 80% comprehension for the purpose we are reading for.

Over the two and a half day course we will get through six books, each with 300 pages, so I will ask you to
bring some books with you.

PhotoReading is not reading you have experienced before.

For those who have completed the course before, why not come along to practice and reinforce your learning, it will be fantastic to see you again for a small charge to cover the hire of the room etc. Remember for returning participants, you must have and produce the official Learning Strategies sealed certificate.

Contact the organisers Phillip for more information or email me.

nlpnow logo 6In Istanbul, Turkey, 19-25 March 2016 and 14-20 May 2016, I will be giving a course Licensed by Richard Bandler’s Society of NLP, the NLP Practitioner Course, your first step into obtaining excellence, confidence and change in yourself and others. Also I will give a NLP Master Practitioner in Istanbul 23-31 May 2016.

Learning NLP with Richard Bandler in the early 1990’s and being one of his assistants for many years and becoming a Licensed Trainer with the Society of NLP, I have taught licensed Practitioner and Master Practitioner courses all over the world on a regular basis, especially in Turkey, many people have attended to gain excellence in their life, their work life, their business, their education, their family.

Previous participants have come from wide ranging backgrounds, housewives, doctors, students, princess, unemployed, retired or just interested, all are welcome to attend to this life changing course.

Gain the confidence to make changes in yourself and others, learn how we communicate and how the human brain processes information of change.

Contact NLPGrup in Istanbul for more information or email me.

I will continue to deliver more courses and talks will be following in Italy and Turkey plus many other
countries, covering Licensed NLP at different levels, Licensed TonyBuzan’s Mind Maps, Memory Skills, Speed-reading, Coaching, Hypnosis and Stage Hypnosis to name just a few.

Many companies and organisations have had in-house courses and seminars designed specifically for their needs, so should your company have requirements for in-house training or consultancy, please contact me for information and discussion.

Passing Out at Sight of Blood

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I am not a wimp, a weak person, but over the last week I have had two experiences which made me feel that way, to feel an idiot.

A few days ago, I was preparing some food for a meal and I pricked my little finger with a sharp knife, and as you will see from the mark on the end of my little finger, it was minor.
Phillip Holt's little finger with a little cut
A little cut on my finger
A little bead of blood appeared, but no problem, wash it away and continue (yes with caution not to contaminate the food) with preparing the food.
Within a few moments, I felt my head going light, the room beginning to spin.
I had to sit down.
The blood drained from my face, my lips and face turned grey, and I broke out into a cold sweat, as my blood pressure dropped.
I lay down with my feet higher than my head to get the blood flow back into my head.
There was nothing I could do to stop this irrational reaction to that small little cut. I am not afraid of blood, I can watch operations on TV, I have blood drawn at the doctors and hospitals for tests without problems, but why, oh why, is this happening to me?
Two days ago I was in hospital to undergo a procedure called an angiogram, and internal investigation of my heart. It is the second one I have had, so I know what is going to happen, and was quite prepared for it, and had little or no stress. As I waited to be registered at 7:30am, waiting with another gentleman, I was reassuring him, smiling, joking, putting him at ease.
They needed a blood sample from me, and the ward sister came along with the tools of her trade, telling me she would put a cannula into my arm, so that she could drain some blood for testing, and that the cannula would stay there during the procedure just incase they needed to give me some medication.
As I sat in a chair next to the hospital bed, waiting for her to start, I told her of my experiences of nearly passing out, just to warn her, and that the last time they did this I had a reaction.
She laughed at me, asking if I was OK, which I was. I felt fine. I did not look at her putting the cannula into my arm, and was laughing and joking with her.
Then it hit me.
My head began to swim, I broke out into that cold sweat, turning grey, and the ward sister called for help. I was lain down on the bed, feet higher, just like the last time.
I felt like an idiot, a wimp. I was out of control of my own body. I tried everything I teach in my courses to relax myself, I tried Fred, Antonio, Mustafa, deep breathing, relaxing, nothing I could do would relieve the situation. The irrational behaviour had to run its’ course.
Why do 10% – 20% of the population experience passing out at the sight of blood?
There is a theory that this physiological response is genetic, inherited from our parents. But I remember my father having many an injury without any ill effects, and on occasions my mother cutting herself with reacting. And, where would a woman be if every month she had this reaction?
Another theory says that the reaction to the sight of blood stems from our far distance past, from our cave man days, becoming an evolutionary outcome. This theory says that when under attack, the defender would faint, falling to the ground pretending death, the blood would drain away from the face, looking like a dead body, thus the attacker would cease the attack.
This fainting strategy, could also help stem the flow of blood to an injured part, thus reducing blood loss, increasing the survival rate.
When the danger had passed, the person could get on with their life, producing offspring which would be passed-on to the next generation, producing a survival gene.
Some other theories say it is a phobia, and irrational response to a situation, the sight of blood, a learnt experience. If this is so, then I should be able to deal with it as I do with other clients in a couple of seconds.
But no.
Oh Poo Poo, I hope I can get rid of it before my next visit to hospital in the next few weeks for an angioplasty, to have a couple of stents placed in my dear old heart.

The Roundabout of Life, is it Towards or Away?

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Today I watched a donkey working at a watermill, it was just walking round and round in a circle, attached by a harness to a beam, which was in turn attached to some simple gearing system that operated a pump, pumping water from a well to irrigate the farmers fields and crops.

For hours on end, the donkey walked this never ending circuit, like the second hand of a clock, forever passing the same number 12 at the top of the hour, time and time again, forever moving but getting nowhere, and like that second hand of the clock just showing the passing of time, getting nowhere.

The donkey was like that hamster or mouse on its’ wheel in a cage, spinning round and round and getting nowhere, but at least the donkey was pumping water, whereas the hamster or mouse is expending energy turning the wheel for the gratification of the animal’s owner. Like riding a roundabout in the fairground, getting nowhere.
I see many people on a similar wheel, roundabout or treadmill, doing the same thing time and time again as they progress through the short lifetime we have on this earth, never progressing, never learning new concepts and ideas, never learning from the mistakes they make, never experiencing new things and seeing the beauty that life can give. 
They are passing their time, never getting anywhere.
Perhaps they are trapped in a relationship, in a family situation, in an employment that restricts their future, or in a culture that is very restrictive, never open to new ideas to other peoples points of view, much like a lion in a zoo cage will have nothing to do but to walk round and round in their little world of understanding, forever in frustration and depression, following the same endless pathway they have made in that small world or enclosure.
As I look about me, I see people not only travelling the same pathway they have had inflicted by others upon them, or have placed upon themselves, but they are also being led, like that donkey, by a carrot hanging infront of his nose. Always that carrot is a small distance away, just out of reach, they are hoping that that tasty carrot will be theirs, that their never ending treadmill will lead to that Utopia one day, hoping that they will reach their Xanadu, their dream led by the Muse Kira, (the Greek mythical Muse’s real name was Clio, one of nine sisters, Kira being the assumed name), the daughter of the Greek God Zeus, or as in the poem of the same name, Xanadu, by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, leading to the pleasure garden which Kubla Khan created in the Chinese province in China.

These people are being lead by ideals, promises, dreams, often created by others, like tales of the streets of big cities being paved with gold, where riches can be anyones, just by the taking, but often, just as they are about to reach their dream, it is taken away from them by those that created them, the chance of a kiss by a beautiful princess only to find that it is to be that donkey’s backside.
Sometimes I notice the farmer was walking behind the donkey as it worked that water mill, round and round that never ending circle, and the farmer held a stick in his hand with which he occasionally tapped the donkey’s rump, just enough to inflict a little pain, which spurred the donkey on, and as it is like most animals and humans, they do not like pain.
We are not only driven by dreams, but sometimes we are also driven by avoidance, to move away from something, some place, some issue, as when people experience fears or phobias. The easiest way to stop a phobia or fear people often find, is to avoid the experience which causes the phobia, to avoid that place where a spider or snake could be, not to enter that high building or walk across that bridge. Experience has shown though, that by avoiding the fear or phobia, it only re-enforces them making them worse.
In the past I had a client who had a phobia of tunnels, especially those where the exit could not be seen when entering perhaps because there was a bend in the middle, or it was very long. This lady’s train station had such a tunnel, and to get to the other side of the station from where she lived she would travel a very long distance to avoid using the tunnel. Participants on my courses will have heard of this lady, and I forgot to tell them that after seeing me that once, she overcame her phobia.
To avoid pain and hurt may not necessarily be negative as some people presuppose, thinking that such a person is always negative, never a “go getter”, but avoidance can often lead to a positive outcomes or results.
Many rich people have the fear of living in poverty, not to have the flash car, not to go on that exotic holiday, not to be recognised as someone of high standing, not to be loved. These people are driven by the negative outcomes, the pain of not being rich, and strive to create the wealth, the business, to get the qualifications to bring the knowledge of how to achieve those riches.
Perhaps it is the fear of being left alone, not to have a relationship, that drives people to become over friendly, to draw others into a relationship with them, only to find that the person they are left with is not the person they had expected as a life partner, but then when deciding to leave that relationship, they hurt the ones who had been drawn in by the carrot.  
Others choose to enter situations, relationships for the pure pleasure of a negative outcome.
As a small child, I am sure you remember when you lost your first teeth, the Milk Teeth as they are known in the UK? Did you put the tooth under your pillow when you went to bed for the fairies to take and leave a sum of money?
They became wobbly, loose, as the new tooth pushed up from beneath. I remember using my tongue or my fingers to move the tooth backwards and forwards, only stopping pushing or pulling when I felt that twinge of pain, but somehow I enjoyed that little pain, I was reassured that soon the fairies would be visiting, and I became addicted to moving the tooth until I got the pain, pushing the limits and the boundaries.
I observe people who have injured themselves, and keep touching the area just to make sure the injury is still there I am sure to experience that little twinge of pain.
I see many people who come to me for help, and insist on telling me how ill they are, how “no-body loves them“, how depressed they are, they take great joy and satisfaction from re-experiencing their pain and sorrow.
I watch the joggers, panting, sweating, red in the face, as they push themselves imagining they are on yet another London Marathon race. I look into the windows of the myriad of gym clubs around he world, and see people rowing imaginary boats, running down imaginary roads on the treadmills, getting nowhere like the donkey, yet pushing for better times, longer imaginary distances covered.
I had a friend Richard, who was/is a fitness fanatic. Every lunchtime he was in the gym, every night he was in the gym after his hour long run or swim, every morning he would arrive at his desk wearing his tight lycra cycle racing outfit, beads of sweat forming on his forehead and dripping from the end of his nose, his eyes bulging through the extreme energy he had exerted ridding his bike to work, imagining he was wearing the Yellow Shirt on the Tour de France
Why did Richard and other put themselves through such pain and suffering?
Some say it is to become fitter, healthier. But, when I asked Richard what happens when he does not go to the gym, does not cycle to work, he said he feels bad, that he just has to, to feel good. Research has shown that excessive exercise places the body under stress, and the body responds by producing the addictive substances called beta-endorphins.
So, the pain, the physical stress in the body makes the pituitary gland secrete the hormones of endorphins which are chemically related to Morphine. The name “endorphin” is often referred to as “endogenous morphine“, a chemical that binds to certain receptors in the brain, and act as a pain killer and become highly addictive, also known to reduce the appetite, decrease depression and anxiety, giving that feeling of euphoria.
It is no wonder some people are drawn towards pain and suffering and become addicted to such acts, as when the body experiences that stress or pain, chemicals are released to give them a high.
Yet others are drawn to pain because it draws attention to them from others. In extreme cases, people will mutilate themselves by cutting themselves, pulling their hair out. These cases are wide ranging and have multiple causes not to be discussed here, but in some cases it is what is called a “cry for help“, they want attention. We often tell our family, friends and colleagues what a terrible time we have had, bringing back, reliving the experiences only to bring that pain back, for to relive, to talk about, to think about something, we will have to experience the pain again.
So we are all driven towards something, a reward, a pleasure, a new car or dress, a visit to the theatre, or we are driven away from something, to avoid a dislike, pain, discomfort, certain food, a person or place.
In NLP terms (see the NLP Glossary click) there are the Towards People and there are the Away People.
When reading some books on NLP on the subject of Towards and Away People, the author says that a person is either one or the other. When teaching the subject, I will explain the concept, and ask for a show of hands who are Towards and who are Away, and too many people categorise themselves as only one or the other, because that is what they have been told and so believe.
When you analyse a person, ask them questions, and you will ascertain in one situation they will be Towards, yet in another they will be an Away from person.
For me and food, if you mention chocolate cake or ice cream and the chances of eating some, I would do anything for you, I would be your slave, I would sing a song for you, yet the mention of a fish meal would find me making all the excuses I could not to sit down with you.  
For chocolate cake and ice cream I am a Towards person, fish and Away from person.

Yet, if we take about fish in another context, I am Towards person. As a Master Scuba Diver, I have had over 600 dives around the world and have swam with some amazing fish, some dangerous like the Stone Fish and some humorous like the Clown Fish. (click her to see more underwater photographs)

A Stone Fish taken in the Red Sea off Jeddah, Saudi Arabia    Clown Fish taken in the Red Sea off Jeddah, Saudi Arabia

A Stone Fish or Scorpion Fish and a Clown Fish taken in the Red Sea off Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
if you cannot see the Stone Fish click here

Some people will draw others into their world by promising dreams, ideas, Towards, other people will drive people along by planting thoughts of suffering if they do or do not do something, Away.
Be aware of how we are influenced by others and how we influence others. Be aware of that carrot being dangled in front of you, or that stick prodding you onwards.

The 12th Radio Interview of the Series with Ashford Publishing Radio, Phobias

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In todays interview with Ashford Radio Publishing, Phillip Holt talks about Phobias and Fears that perhaps 25% of the population suffers from. We look at what causes them, a quick look at cures and examples.

If you have a fear or phobia, need confidence, change a habit or stop an addiction, call Phillip Holt and he will be willing to work with you no matter where you live in the world.
For some computer systems the radio button will not appear on this page, so either click here or visit all Phillips’ radio shows by clicking here to listen.

Listen to internet radio with AshfordPublishing2 on Blog Talk Radio

Please leave any comments you may have below.

Phillip Holt is available to give courses to corporate and the public, in many subjects around the world, plus talks and presentations, and will work with individuals on personal issues.
Contact me for more information either by email (link in the left column), or by leaving a comment below.
Find other radio interviews by clicking here.

I Had a Dream, Are Dreams and Beliefs Truth

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Last night I was taken to a rather expensive restaurant called VU’s on the 50th floor of the Emirates Towers here in Dubai.

The eight course meal must have been cooked by Gordon Blue (Cordon Bleu), as each dish was very small, for example the appetiser was one small mushroom set upon an equally small amount of sauce, but in the end the whole meal was very filling and superb.
Retiring to my bed, I drifted of into a very heavy sleep which resulted in those dreams which are so vivid.
I dreamt that I had been in a previous employment many years ago, and that after I had resign, I was accused of taking a sum of money from the company, a cheque valued at £2,000.
The whole scene was so vivid, yet so unreal, as I recall that some of the scenes were set it seems in a classroom I studied in when I was a schoolboy many years earlier.
I knew I was innocent as I tried to prove that there had been a mistake, also protecting my staff from being accused who I knew were innocent. Yet, the management wanted blood, my blood, especially from one manager whom I realised was a nasty piece of work, using any tactic to help him climb the ladder of success, removing those who got in his way, and I was in his way.
I was in panic, so much panic, it awoke me, or was it the bright desert morning sunlight?
In this half awake, half asleep state, I was guilty, and although I used my logic, my memory of the real event of leaving that job or employment, I was guilty.
I knew I had dreamt that I had been accused of this crime, but my mind, part of my conscious mind was adamant it was true.
It took me some minutes to rationalise, to reason with my conscious mind, to convince it that it was just a dream.
This whole incident of my dream reminded me of one of the radio interviews I had just done (listen) on beliefs, what they are and how they formed, it also reminded me about false memories, those memories of passed times which we are totally convinced are true, but are in fact totally wrong and untrue.
Perhaps you have been with a friend discussing something that had happened sometime ago, one said this happened and you knew it was something different that had happened. 

“Jane wore that blue dress she always wears” your friend say, and you reply convincingly, “No, it was her red dress”.

Who was right? 
There have been many cases of people being accused and convicted of crimes that they have not committed, especially in child abuse cases, where the child with their active minds, or people who were mentally unstable, or people with a grudge against the accused, have told stories that were so convincing that they believed them to be true, the judge and juries believed to be true, even leading to the accused believing them to be true, and you and me perhaps believed to be true.
False memories. False beliefs.
In the 1970’s and 1980’s, especially but not restricted to the USA, many people were “brought to justice“, for child abuse, only to be later overturned as evidence was submitted to prove innocence, or it was proved there was no evidence in the original trials, or that false memories had been created.
In 2001, Margaret Talbot wrote in the New York Times :- 

When you once believed something that now strikes you as absurd, even unhinged, it can be almost impossible to summon that feeling of credulity again.” 
A policeman was accused and convicted along with some his colleagues, of abusing his daughters. His strong religious beliefs, and his beliefs that his children would never tell lies, placed false memories in his own mind that he had done those atrocities, and he admitted his (false) guilt. The way that the daughter had been questioned by investigators, the way the interviewers had constructed their questions, the interviewers’ preconceived ideas or notions, because the interviewers’ had authority with the child, the child wanted to please, because the child had been repeatedly asked the same questions, because the child had perhaps heard similar stories from their friends, had led the memories to become what the interviewer wanted, they were false memories, their beliefs.
I was asked to travel to Italy to work with a lady who was having problems. With her doctors permission, I worked with her. It turned out that at a time of stress, the birth of her child, a family member who had just started a physiology type course, tried to analyse her help her, and placed in her mind that she had been, as a child, raped by her father, then her mother, her aunties and uncles, the villagers, her pet and then the animals in the surrounding farms. Her relative had placed in her mind false memories which she believed to be true. My job was to help her back to reality, to reprogram those memories and not remove them.
Many examples can be cited here, the case of brainwashing by counties, regimes and organisations, for example the Branch Davidians in the Waco Siege of 1993,
In recent months we have had the case of Amanda Fox, Rafaelle Sollecito and Meredith Kercher, many beliefs were created, and not knowing all the facts I am not going to express any opinion on the outcome. These beliefs firstly led to convictions, then led to acquittals.
Firstly we had the alleged preconceived ideas of the investigators, the alleged methods of questioning, both the accused, Amanda Fox, and the investigators under stress, and the differences in Italian and English languages, how in translation words have and could be given different meanings and thus outcomes. This led to strong beliefs in the prosecutors, defendants, jury and press, and thus the public, you and me, as to what was the truth.
Even after the retrial and acquittal, people still hold on to t
heir beliefs, as Margaret Talbot said above.
I have to be very careful of how I construct my language, how my words are being translated in my courses given in so many non English speaking countries. It could be the problem given in the recent incident between the Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini and Carlos Tevez who is alleged to play against Mayern Munich. What is the truth? Which ever story is stronger, which every side of the fence you fall, will be your belief.
What ever we are taught at school, in your religious teachings, by your parents, family and friends, what news we are being fed by the radio, TV, newspapers our governments all create our beliefs which are of cause the truth.
So was my dream true or not. I had to dig deep, to chunk down, to gather more information to prove my dream was just a dream and not the truth, even if it was so vivid, so much so that it could become my belief.
We have to go below the surface level (iceberg effect) to find the truth that become our beliefs, but are they true?
Is our Cat on the Mat the correct cat?

I was asked What is a Phobia

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I was recently asked by a schoolboy who is doing a school project, “What is a phobia?“.

I publish my answer as others have asked similar questions, and it may help you with my way of explaining what phobias are.

I have written other articles on the subject within the blog, and you can see a list of phobias by clicking on this links

Phobias A – C
Phobias D – J
Phobias K – N
Phobias O – Z
or visit the web sites,

What are phobias?

Phobias are irrational fears that have got out of hand, and in most cases are learned.

There are only two fears that the human is naturally fearful of, the fear of load noises and falling, everything else is learned.

The brain, may be given a situation that it has experienced before, maybe a sound, a vision, a feeling, and it then it searches in its’ memory bank for previous experiences to make an understanding of what is happening. We call this a “transderivational search”.

If you like, a transderivational search is something like this. All that you have learned during your life is placed in a filing cabinet, be learnings or experiences, visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, olfactory or gustatory, (V,A,K,O or G) you have a filing cabinet in your brain, it is your memory.

Now if you experience something, the information you are experiencing, say a photograph of me, the eyes pass this image from the eyes to your visual cortex at the back of the brain.

At this stage you have no conscious knowledge of what is being seen, the processing is at a subconscious level. The visual cortex says “what is this I see, I do not know what it is”, so it goes on a transderivational search, looking into the memory banks the filing cabinet, looking  for a match, the new image is has just received and one that it has stored.

Perhaps finds a visual memory of say an elephant, does it match? No. Perhaps a gorilla, does it match? No. It goes on searching until it finds a near match, and then says, “It is this”. The brain makes a generalisation. This generalised match is most likely is a near fit, not an exact to that you are experiencing, after all nothing is the same twice.

Now, when a person goes into a situation, the brain does a transderivational search, finds the nearest match in the memory banks, and says this happened last time, this is what I experienced before, therefore the same outcome will happen again.

That last subconscious outcome, what happen before will happen again we can agree is not true, as nothing needs to happen the same way twice.

So a person stands on a tall building, the brain takes in all the stimulus, all the information from what is happening, does the transderivational search, and says, “I was not happy last time, therefore I will not be happy this time.

If the last situation or activity produced the state of not being happy, the brain could now go into what is called a “fight or flight state, something that is a hangover from our caveman days, and the brain issues the instruction for the body to produce chemicals to either fight the situation or run away from the situation. Such drugs as adrenaline.

The drugs gives us certain feelings as they wash through our body, and some people do not like these feelings, so the brain goes further into the “flight or flight”, and creates a phobia.

The next time we have or do the same experience, the last feeling created by the “fight of flight” will be remember whilst going on the transderivational search, and will build on top of that last bad feeling, that last fear, making it worse.

So a phobia is a learned state, and it is “anchored ” to fire the response once a situation or stimulus is presented. The more the response or state of the phobia is recreated or happens, the more the brain says it will always happen. This is called “conditioning”, as with Pavlov and his dogs.

Why do we get them?

We get phobias and fears to protect us. It is a natural state, some people love the adrenaline rush, some people hate them, it is how our brains are wired.

It is good to have a fear, say if standing on top of a high rise tower block, and there are no safety barriers, it would be stupid to hang off the edge. But, if there is a safety barrier, why have a fear?

If that natural fear gets out of hand, it becomes a phobia.

What effect do they have on us?

A phobia will stop a person doing something, enter into a situation. There will be a panic feeling, fainting, a state of having to get away from the situation. A “flaming phobic” will often have a high pulse rate, go red in the face, hyper ventilate, and sweat.

A phobia is very debilitating, stopping people doing things, perhaps leaving their house, maybe going shopping, and driving a car.

What are the common phobias?

There are so many phobias that I have come across whilst teaching how to remove phobias around the world, the fear of spiders, snakes, flying, open spaces, closed spaces, public speaking, meeting people.

All these can be treated.

Common treatments are such as “Flooding”. This is where a phobic person is gradually introduced to the situation or the item, that they are phobic about. For example, a person was shown on TV with a fear of heights. They were slowly taken up higher and higher structures, until they were desensitised; actually they were not cured as they were only taken up to half the height the fire engines’ reach of its snorkel. Flooding takes a long time, and the client experiences horrid feelings as they learn to control the phobia.

There is “hypnotherapy”, where hypnosis is used, often to go back to recover the initial cause of the phobia, and change the outcome, the memory. Many sessions are required.

There is “CBT ”, “Cognitive Behaviour Therapy which works with changing if you like how the client reacts to the situation.

There are many more “cures” for phobias.

I use a method called NLP , which is very quick, re-patterning the brain, the outcome. I can and have taken phobias away in minutes. And, it is long lasting, forever.

There are many ways of dealing with phobias. Which one is correct? Who knows, they all work. I think it is down to the belief system of the client and the ability of the practitioner dealing with the client.

What often upsets me is that a person, who treats people, the practitioner, perhaps with flooding or hypnotherapy, will often dismiss any other forms of treatment as being hogwash, not any good. This is stupid.

I say, use whatever works, and if it does work, good.

But I still say, my system is the best, as I use whatever works.

Click here to read about some of the clients I have worked with, and references. Should you wish to see me, we will have one session only, for as long as it takes, and I will come to you, as long as you cover my travel.

Istanbul’da NLP Practitioner Kursu

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                                                                                                                                                         English version

Türkiye’deki herkese güzel bir haber; Istanbul’da 17 Nisan 2010 tarihinden itibaren 7 gün sürecek bir Society of NLP Practitioner kursuna daha başlıyoruz.

Türkiye’yi uzun yıllar ziyaret ederek, Istanbul, Ankara, Gaziantep, Antalya başta olmak üzere birçok bölgede Society of NLP standartlarında NLP Practitioner ve Master Practitioner kursları verdim.

Society of NLP’nin lisanslı eğitimeni olarak uzun yıllar Richard Bandler’ın ekibinde çalıştım ve doğrudan kendisinden eğitim aldım. Bu nedenle, benim katılımcılarım da NLP’yi Bandler’ın öğrettiği şekilde öğrendiklerini biliyorlar.

Malcolm Gladwell kitaplarında, bir kişinin belirli bir konuda ya da disiplinde uzman olabilmesi için o konuyu 10,000 saat öğrenmiş olması, içinde olması ya da kullanmış olması gerektiğini söyler. Katılımcılar bu zamanı benimle birlikte alacağından emin olabilir.

Yakın zamanda yine kurucularından PhotoReading, Zihin Haritaları (Mind Maps), Hafıza (Memory) ve Hipnoz (Hypnosis) eğitimleri de veriyor olacağım. Dolayısıyla umarım Istanbul’da görüşürüz…

17 Nisan 2010 tarihinde Istanbul ‘da yapılacak NLP Practitioner kursuyla ilgili daha detaylı bilgi için web sitesini ziyaret edebilirsiniz.

Phobias, Fears and Confidence Building.

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All of a sudden, my telephone has not stopped ringing from people wanting help with their phobias, fears and confidence building, and I have to be careful how I answer the calls, as these are not unwanted calls I wrote about.

So, today saw me in Central London, working with a client who would not travel on the tube (metro). She also had a fear of escalators.

A phobia is an irrational fear that has got out of hand.

A phobia is a learned reaction to a stimulus or situation that creates an internal response or feeling which is inappropriate to what is happening.

Symptoms can be very varied, from panic attacks, extreme sweating, blushing, fainting, the list goes on.

If something can be learned leading to an irrational phobia or fear, then an alternative better response can be learned, and that better response run to the stimulus or situation.

This learning of a new response can be installed in a very short time, I usually only work with a client once, and for as long it takes for the new response to be installed, two minutes or ten hours.

I do not use an office, I do not have a consulting room with a couch, and I do not usually have clients visit me. I go to my clients, or I meet the client wherever the fear or phobia takes place, a departure lounge of an airport, a swimming pool, open spaces, in a dogs kennel, a hospital or dentists waiting room, wherever is suitable.

I have worked in a swimming pool in Sri Lanka with a lady who I had just met with a fear of spiders, and within minutes we were searching the bushes in the surrounding gardens for spiders.

So there I was in a crowded London street near a London Underground Tube station entrance, surrounded by shoppers, tourists, families and groups of friends unknown to me, with a client who just wanted to be like other people racing about us, getting on with their life.

Unseen by others around us I went to work, we were just two people talking, with me being a little more animated than normal. It was as if we did not exist to people.

After a few minutes, with a smile on her face and happiness in her heart, we entered the tube station, walking down the steps into the ticket hall to buy a ticket, through the barriers to ride the escalator down to the platform.

She tried to get those unwanted feelings of what had been, but they were just not there anymore as we stood waiting for the train along with many more passengers.

We chatted, and watched others not even noticing us, passing through many stations until I got to Waterloo, my stop, when I bid her farewell, never to see her again, as she can now move on in life, do the things she had wanted to do.

Oh I love my job. 

Phobias, Fears, and Personal Problems

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My work takes me to many countries, giving training course, teaching participants how to gain control in their lives, and should they wish how to help other people too to gain control, I give lectures, talks to business people, educationists, students, clubs and the general public. Much of my work now is in this field.

I also continue on a now smaller scale to see clients on a private basis, what is known as 1-2-1. It gives me immense satisfaction to work with these people, who may have suffered for many years over a fear or phobia.

Oh how I would love to work with the BBC presenters on a nightly program called The One Show, when shear panic was evident when spiders were shown each night for a week. The presenters Christine Bleakley and Adrian Chiles could be seen retreating behind their seats as spiders were produced to for them to observe. In a later program it was shown that this same fear or phobia was just as evident for frogs, and for Christine, moths.

Why should people suffer so much, when in one session this irrational fear can be overcome, removed, and if they should so wish, to handle these wonderful creatures?

I gives me great joy to be approached sometimes by people who asks for my help, to work with them for perhaps just a few minutes, and they walk away with the problem gone, they can stand on the top floor of a tall building, walk onto an aircraft, stroke a dog, walk out of their house that they have not left for many years. OK, I usually sent about two hours with a client for that one session.

I also does not matter that I have usually have no further contact with the clients. Why should I? Do they want me hanging on to them asking them “are you OK?” They need to get on with their life.

Often the clients report “that it is as if I never had the problem“. Great, why should what had been before does not interfere with what happens now.

I remember one lady in Istanbul who had a fear of heights, one quick session, and we went up to the restaurant on top floor of the hotel overlooking the Bosphorus, the end wall being totally being glass. She stood there, nose on the glass, and said she was fine, but perhaps it was not high enough.

A business man who prior to seeing me could not drive on a motorway, or even drive over a bridge, and said that if it worked he would make me a millionaire. I know he now drives himself all over the country, yet I have never heard from him.

An actress who had lost confidence with herself and her acting, so much so that she was going to be written out of the TV soap opera, yet she is still there many years later. I have had no further contact with her, and so it should be that way.

A senior police office that had not been able progress through interviews that would enable him to reach the next level in his career. He needed something special for him that was missing. He has since gone even further in his career, as I watch news about him.

All I have seen just once, and have had no further contact., and I believe this is what it should be if they so wish, as they have a new life.

Do I want to hold a spider or a frog? No, not really. But, if I needed to I can without fear.

A fear or a phobia is learned, and if something can be learned so it can be unlearned by something else stronger.

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