Author Archives: nlpnowcom

GROW – The GROW Model in Coaching

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Another model for coaching people as well as the S.M.A.R.T Model (click to read) is the GROW Model.

The acronym stands for :- 

         G      Goal    
         O     Options   


As with the SMART Model the goal or outcome to be achieved must be specific. It should be measurable, you should know when you will have had done the task, and it should be timely, you should set deadlines, a time frame.  


You need to understand where you are starting from, to fully understand the situation you are at, at this moment, rather than what was thought or imagined, to understand the concept of the Map is not the Territory (Click to read).


Now you know the situation you are in now and the goals or outcomes you wish to achieve, you need to look at how you are going to get there, what can you do, what strategies you have available to you. These options must be SMART


You must have the will to achieve the goal or outcome. You must have motivation. As you work through the GROW model, keep in mind the following as well :-

  • WHO is going to do this, and will be responsible?
  • WHAT is to be achieved?
  • WHY are you doing this?
  • WHEN do you want to do this and to be completed?
  • HOW are you going to do this?

S.M.A.R.T. – The SMART Model

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When you have a plan, set a goal or outcome, if you have the correct intensions, objectives in place, you will have a greater chance of achieving what you want.   Be SMART.

An model, the S.M.A.R.T. Model, can be used to help you become aware of if you have all the steps or objectives in place to meet your outcomes or goals. The acronym stands for :- 

   S      Specific
   M      Measurable
   A      Achievable, Attainable
   R      Realistic
   T      Timely, Time-bound


What you wish to achieve, should be concrete, you should define and detail the outcome or goal, to know what you want. 

Consider the following questions to being specific :-

  • WHO is going to do this, and will be responsible?
  • WHAT is to be achieved?
  • WHERE will this take place?
  • WHY are you doing this?
  • WHEN do you want to do this and to be completed?
  • HOW are you going to do this?


Can you see or measure the progress you are achieving and when you have completed the task?

If you plan to read three books in a week to research a subject, how will you know as each day passes that you have read so many pages, chapters, or a book? How will you know you have read the three books at the end of the week?


Another word could be attainable, is the goal or outcome within your reach?

Have you got the right resources available to you, have you enough knowledge? Is the time-frame correct, have you given yourself enough time, or is the time too long that you loose motivation and have no commitment?


Can the outcome be achieved? Is it physically possible to do this? Have you all the resources available to you, finance, materials, do they exist? At this time it is not realistic to build a house on the Moon.


Another word can be time-bound. Have you set a timetable or deadline to achieve the outcome or goal?

Is the time the correct time to do the task? Skiing in the Scotish mountains in the summer months is not feasable as there will be no snow.

Do you wish to loose 20lbs in weight? To do it in one week is not timely, you have not allowed enough time.

      Time must be measurable, attainable and realistic.

Be S.M.A.R.T. use the SMART Model on all you do, and be aware of it when working with others, setting tasks for your employees, your students, your coaching clients.

Coaching Course ends

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Today is a day of rest.

I have worked for five days on a coaching course and at the same time, ran three session a day with participants learning English. I am quite tired as it has been a difficult time, for once the facilities have not been up to the standard I have been used to over the years, I have needed Mustapha here with me in Turkey.

Today I will do nothing, except write the blog, go for a walk to get food, and prepare for the next round of courses starting tomorrow with Memory Skills, following on with an NLP Practitioner course, then a Mind Map course. Nine days without a break.

I enjoyed the participants over the five days, they inspired me, as they wanted to learn despite background problems. It is when you get students eager to learn that you move up a gear, and proceed with enthusiasm.

Durring the course we looked at many aspects of coaching, especially saying nothing with style. Graham Alexander the World’s number one Executive Coach, once told me the art of a good coach is to say nothing with style. The exercises to learn this technique were fun, and the participants soon got the hang of it.

We looked at the S.M.A.R.T. Model. (click to read) and the levels of beliefs (to follow).

As normal the course ended with sadness that all good things come to an end, we had become a team a group of motivated people, but the participants left with a knowledge that they had learnt a lot, and to know that they were on their way to achieve what they wanted from the course.

Me? I missed the ferry, missed the last train of Tunel, and entered an empty flat again. But joy, I found an internet signal, I can watch British TV on Slingbox via my computer in peace, eating one of my favourite wrap meals from La cantine, near Taxim Tunel, before having a good nights sleep.

The Smart Model

First day of Courses in Istanbul

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Today I start a course for Coaching in Kadikoy in conjunction with NLPGrup, in a district of Istanbul on the Eastern side of the Bosphorus.

We travel on a beautiful sunny day by car across the bridge, thankfully on Saturday there is not much traffic, but there is enough time to look down onto the waters of the Bosphorus, with the ferries criss crossing from one side to the other. Large ocean going vessels slowly sale up and down from the Black Sea towards the Marmara Sea.

On arrival, I find I have another class to incorporate into my day, the English NLP course. Thank goodness for Mustapha, I need the strength, but good fun.

Oh dear, on arrival we cannot get into the school building, someone has forgotten the key to get in. Great I can get breakfast.

Turkish breakfast, a hot sweet tea and a bread filled with a little cheese.

Glossary of NLP

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Many people ask me about terms used in NLP. These may help you.

I will endeavor to describe the words, but please send me comments and new words as you wish.

Accessing Cues As the human thinks or processes information, they give of information in breathing, gestures, eye movements
Ambiguity Words or statements that can be interpreted in more than one way.
Analogue A variable that can change on a continuum from say high to low. See Digital. – on or off.
Anchoring A state or process that can be captured by a word, sight, feeling, which when triggered will cause that state or process to be recalled.
Associated Seeing, hearing feeling as if doing those things from within oneself. Actually doing the act.
Auditory The act of hearing or speaking.
Backtrack To go back, review, recall, using the same tonality, words, actions.
Behaviour Any process to be engaged with, physically or mentally.
Beliefs The way a person understands the world from their generalised view.
Calibration To notice and to be able to reproduce another’s state. 
Capability A strategy of success to do a task.
Chunking To take an idea or concept, to chunk up to a higher logical level being less specific, to chunk down a logical level, to be more specific.
Complex Equivalence Two statements which have no relevance to each other, but are joined together as if they are.
Congruence A state of persons being in rapport, thinking and doing together to a common outcome.
Conscious The state of mind that we are aware of at the present time.
Content Reframing By taking a statement and giving it a different meaning.
Context Reframing By taking a statement and using it in another context or situation.
Conversational Postulate Posing a question in such a way for it to become a command. 
Criterion What is important in a certain situation or process.
Cross-over Mirroring To match another’s physical movement with another movement of ones own.
Deep Structure That part of communication which has been omitted, leaving the surface structure.
Deletion That part of an experience that has been omitted, removed from the conscious process.
Digital Two states, which is either true or false, yes or no, with no variability, see Analogue.
Dissociated Seeing, hearing or feeling as if watching ones self doing, not in the experience. See Associated.
Distortion An inaccurate representation of an experience as a internal experience.
Downtime To go into ones own thoughts and feelings, in a relax state or hypnotic state.
Ecology To have regards to customs, beliefs, values, environment, surroundings.
Elicitation Using questions and observations, possibly with the Meta Model to gather information about behaviour
Epistemology Knowing how we know how we know.
Eye Accessing Cues The movement of the eyes that indicate the processing of information, of visual, auditory, both internal and external, Kinesthetic, and auditory digital.
Eyes Closed Process Used to describe the process of going into trance or hypnosis.


First Position

Are we communicating what we are meant to communicate?

Part of Perceptual Positions. Seeing or being as ones self.

Frame The way we perceive, understand something.
Future Pace To mentally rehearse some future event or happening with a positive outcome.
Generalisation Combining all experiences of a similar nature into one specific experience.
Gustatory The sense of taste V.A.K.O.G.
Hypnosis A state, perhaps of relaxation.
Identity How one sees ones-self, the self-image.
Incongruence Not in agreement with, having conflict with, often seen or expressed in behaviour.
Installation To facilitate the acquiring of a new state or behaviour.
Intention The desired outcome of an action.
Internal Representations How information is stored in the mind, Visually, Auditory, Kinaesthetically, the tastes and smells.
Kinesthetic The sense of feeling, internal and external, sensations, emotions.
Lead System The representational system to load information into the conscious mind.
Leading The actions or processes that others will follow.
Linguistic Language, how it is constructed.
Logical Level Levels of information, lower levels are pieces of information contained in a higher level of information. 

Lost Performative

Starting a story or metaphor, without finishing starting another, then going back to finish or end the stories or metaphors. 

The person or thing doing the act is missing, see Meta Model

Map of the World The understanding or representation a person makes of the world with their own experiences.
Matching Enacting another’s posture, actions or language to gain rapport.
Meta More of, greater than, beyond.
Meta Model

Meta Model Diagram

To use language to recover the deep structure about a belief, experience or understanding, the opposite of Milton Model.

A diagram showing the language patterns of the Meta Model with links to explanations.

Meta-cognition Being able to explain knowledge to others.
Metaphor To tell a story with a hidden meaning, having a comparable situation as the real situation.
Metaprograms Habits that we filter information of experiences to get information or understandings.
Milton Model Using vague language patterns, so the resources of the individuals unique unconscious mind has to be accessed to gain understanding. Derived from the works of Milton Erickson. The opposite of Meta Model.
Mirroring To match another’s physical movement with the same movement of ones own precisely.
Mismatching To break rapport by doing different patterns, pattern interrupt.
Modal Operator of Necessity Terms in linguistics to change the rules or how we process the information, should could, will etc.
Modal Operator of Possibility Terms in linguistics that will change how processes can be done, can, cannot etc.
Modality The representational Systems V.A.K.O.G.
Model Term used to describe how a process is done, with V.A.K.O.G.
Modelling The act of or the process of finding out how a process works in the sequence it happens in.
Multiple Descriptions Describing a process or experience from different positions or viewpoints.
Neuro How the human processes information in the brain.
Neurological Levels Different logical levels of experience, involving the, environment, behaviour, capability, belief, identity, and spirituality. 
New Code NLP “New” NLP descriptions and ideas from John Grinder et al.
NLP Neuro-Linguistic Programming. How people achieve excellence and how they structure that experience.
Nominalization To change a verb into a noun. To love becomes love.
Olfactory The sense of smell. V.A.K.O.G.
Outcome A sensory-based specific result of a future event that is well-formed.
Overlap To work in or communicate in one sense or representational system, then access another. Seeing into hearing. 
Pacing To gain rapport with someone and keeping that rapport over a time. Used with leading.
Parts The subconscious actions or intentions that guide us.
Pattern Interrupt To pace an individuals habitual processes or actions, then interrupt them, then guiding them in another direction or process.
Perceptual Filters The individuals beliefs, ideas, experiences that create their model of the world.
Perceptual Positions How we understand the world from our perspective (1st position), another persons (2nd), an observer’s (3rd), a 4th can be added that of a Martian. 
Phonological Ambiguity Two words that sound the same but have different meanings. Sea/see, hear/here.
Physiological The physical body of a person.
Predicates Sensory based words that indicate the use of the representational system. V.A.K.O.G.
Preferred System The representational system mostly used to process information or experiences.
Presuppositions Statements or ideas that are taken for granted to make sense of some communication.
Punctuation Ambiguity Joining or merging two unrelated sentences together without punctuation as if they were related.
Quotes To say something as if someone else has said it.
Rapport To establish and maintain trust and understanding between people.
Reframing To change an idea, belief  or frame of reference, by issuing another statement giving the original belief a new meaning.
Representation How sensory-based information V.A.K.O.G. is stored in the mind.
The V.A.K.O.G. (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, Olfactory, Gustatory) sensory systems stored in the mind.
Requisite Variety Being able to be flexible to have choice in behaviour and thought.
Resourceful State The state when physical and psychological states are very good to achieve good results.
Resources Any experiences, learning’s, states, strategies that can be used to achieve an outcome.
Second Position Part of perceptual positions, that of seeing things from another’s view point.
Secondary gain Where some function is derived from another action, strategy or process that may be problematic, a phobia etc.  
Sensory Acuity Being more aware of the sensory-based information of any experience.
Sensory-Based Description Using sensory-based descriptions to describe an experience.
Sleep-Like People belief that hypnosis is sleep is untrue, it is a sleep-like state, where the subject is totally aware of the environment.
State The mood one is in at a given time, being the sum total of physical and psychological processes at that time.
Strategy How one achieves an outcome, the process of thoughts and behaviours, defined by V.A.K.O.G.
Submodality The representational Systems V.A.K.O.G. broken down into smaller part, to hear, – load, soft, far away, near.
Surface Structure The communication we make, deleting or leaving out , information from the deep structure.
Synesthesia Linking one sense to anther sense automatically.
T.O.T.E. Test, Operate, Test, Exit. A model of a strategy.
Third position Part of perceptual positions, that of seeing things from an observers position.
Timeline How past, present and future experiences are positioned in space as we thing of them.
Trance The altered state of hypnosis.
Transderivational Search The process of accessing experiences and representations to make sense of the present experience.
Translating The process of rephrasing words from one representational system predicates to another.
Tuple (4-Tuple) The short hand method of writing down the strategies or expeience using the four primary modalities or representation systems, V.A.K.
Unconscious All that is not in the conscious mind at that moment.
Universal Quantifiers Used in the Meta Model, that in linguistic terms links “everything” together in one word, All. Nobody.
Unspecified Nouns Nouns that have no referral as to who they belong to or what they refer to.
Unspecified Verbs 
The process is no described by an adverb, how it was carried out. He ran, how did he run, fast or slow.
Uptime Where the attention or state are aware of everything.
Values Those beliefs that are important.
Visual The sense of sight.
Visualisation The act of imagination of seeing things in the mind, with the third eye.
Well-Formed An outcome or idea that is achievable, verifiable and ecological.


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This index is an ongoing project that will last me a life-time.

Alexander, Graham                  1
Alma, Desa Palma               1

Ambiguity                            1,2

Bandler, Richard                       1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18
Britain, Great                            1
British                                       1                     
Bukit Mertajam                         1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13
Buzan, Tony                             1

Cause and Effect        
CBT see HCBT                    1 ,
Chinese New Year               1
Coaching                                  1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16
Comparative Deletions             1,
Complex Equivalence               1,
Content Reframe                     1
Context Reframe                      1
Cognitive Behavioral
           Therapy                        1


Deep Structure                        1,2,3
Demirel, Zümrüt                       1
Dualphone 3088                      1,2,3,4,5,6                         


Erikson, Milton                         1,2
England                                   1
English                                    1
Eye Accessing Cues            1  

Feedback                          1

Generalised Nouns                   1,
Glossary of NLP                        1
Golfera, Gianni                          1,2,3,4,5,6
Gong Xi Fa Cai                          1,
Grinder, John                            1,2,3,4,5,6,7
GROW Model                             1


Hawkers, Food                           1
HCBT see CBT                      1
Hoarding                             1
Holt, Phillip                          1
Hurricane Fighter Aircraft       1
   Behavioral Therapy®          1,

Hypnosis                                  1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,
Ibanoglu, Halil                 1,2
Iceland, a holiday
Isabella Plantation


Kek Lok Si                         1
Kingston upon Thames        

La Cantine                               1,2,3,4,5
Lack of Referential Index         1,
Lost performative                    1,

Memory Techniques
Merdizan, Deniz                  1,2
Merlin Engine                     1
Meta Model                       1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19
Metaphor                          1 
Migraine                            1,2,3    
Miller, George                     1
Mind Maps                         1,2,3,4
Mind Reading                     1,
Modal Operators                 1,

Nominalisation                    1,
Norbiton Hall                      1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11

O’Brian, Doug                   1

Ozen, Arzu                      1

Predicates                        1,
Predicates, Unspecified       1,

Presuppositions                 1



Reframing                        1
   Six-Step Reframe           1
   Content Reframe           1
   Context Reframe            1
Richmond Park                  1,2
Rolls-Royce                     1 

Sensory                            1
Six-Step Reframe                     1

SpitfireFighter Aircraft         1,2
Stage Hypnosis                        1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,
Statue on Waterloo Bridge
Strategy Elicitation
Surface Structure

Translators                          Arzu, Asu, AylinDeniz, Elena, Halil, Zümrüt
Transderivational Search         

UFO over London                  1
Universal Quantifier              1,
Unspecified Predicates          1,


Wetlands Center                  1,2,3,


Yildirim, Asuman                 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11


7 +/-1                                  1,2,3,4,5,6,7

This site has no connection withPegasus NLP, they have embeded NLPNOW in their web site to capture and hijack any search engines

A Trip into London.

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The trip back to the UK has been taken up by sorting business out, the bank, paying bills, organising future dates, tax affairs, and visas.

On this Friday, (tomorrow) I return to Istanbul Turkey, to give a number of courses, Coaching, Mind Maps, NLP Practitioner level, memory skills and what ever to organisers can throw at me.

I have an appointment in the UK on the 27th of the month for my health, and then fly to Bangalore, India on the 29th for a PhotoReading course, with a projected fifty participants. I need a visa to enter India, so off into London I go.

Sitting here on the train watching people on the way to work, reminds me of the days I would catch the train every morning. Not a word is spoken, people are in their own worlds, trying not to look into others eyes, reading the next persons newspaper, as the newspaper owner tries to hide the print, people catching-up on sleep.

There are smells, curries from last night, stale wine and beer, and what smells like tinned tuna meat. I wish there was a Dior perfume.

The sound of the train announcement “the next station is Wimbledon, please mind the gap between the train and the platform edge,” takes my mind away from the man next to me with an IPod playing some unknown music, all I hear is the bum bum bum. He seems to like it.

Now I hear that there are now train delays due to a power supply problem. Oh Poo Poo. (click to see.) but we are still speeding down the track. The worried look of the passenger faces tells me some will be late.

Thank goodness I have stopped this daily commute into the heart of London. I now only have to sit waiting for hours in airport departure lounges and cramped aircraft seats, listening to the beautiful languages of the world over loudspeakers I find difficult to tune into.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

We all think that other peoples lot, other peoples lives, are better than our own.
As we pull into Waterloo Station I think. Are other peoples lives better than mine?

Waterloo Station's main entrance not usually seen.Waterloo Station’s main entrance not usually seen.

Trains waiting to depart at Waterloo Station.I think not. I think my map of my territory is OK. (see here the Map is not the Territory)

The joy of flying.

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The joy of flying. Yesterday I flew from Milan to London with Alitalia.

The flight to London was due to leave 16 minutes ago, but we are just sitting here, on an extremely hot aircraft, for what we have been told another thirty minutes, due they say to traffic congestion.

After what seemed an age, we left the aircraft stand, only to kept in a holding area at the end of the runway. But not for too long, the engines picked up, and we soon sped down the tarmac runway. The force from the engine thrust the plane accelerating to take-off speed, at which point my seat reclining mechanism decided not to support me, and I found myself in a fully reclined position. It was very uncomfortable, (seat 14L AZ0230 9/5/07 if Alitalia should read this), and now I can appreciate the announcement by the flight attendants to put the seat in an upright position for takeoff and landing.

Not long after getting into the air flying over the beautiful Alps, food was served. This time not in a box, but on a tray. Still a sandwich, with I think some kind of omelet inside. Also with the sandwich was a jam tart, the pastry thick and hard, interesting taste that satisfied my hunger.

Flying above the Alps and clouds with Alitalia   Same old food that we used to get on Alitalia, now just a couple of biscuits 

Let’s hope my case arrives at Heathrow on the same flight as me.

Well my case arrived, but we had to wait a long time before they came tumbling down onto the conveyor belt, which meant that my taxi driver had to wait even longer for me and thus charged me waiting time.

Oh I love flying.

Monday an early start.

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Monday 7/5/07.

An early morning start, at 4am to catch the 6am Alitalia flight to Milan.

Food on board Alitalia seems always to be a sandwich, a cold drink, (I like the red orange juice), plus a piece of cake and yogurt, all in a green box. A choice of tea or coffee is offered, but weak tea and powdered milk.

There never seems to be any other food available other than the sandwich with a thin sliver of nondescript meat with a spread of cream cheese I think. At least with the no-thrills airlines, like Iceland Express, easyJet and Ryan Air there is a choice, firstly of having food or not, (if you want food you pay for it), plus there is a choice of food available, and served with a smile.

I was determined to take a photograph of this offering to put here on the blog, but for the first time I was told not to use a digital camera whilst in flight, I have not heard of that rule except during take off and landing. Perhaps the flight attendant had had too early a start like me.

Some service people like to make up the rules as they go.

Because of changes in course requirements in Turkey, I decided to change my flight dates. My ticket allowed changes, but only with the airline itself. I rang the airline to be told that there were no available seats for my desired flight, which was one week away. This could be true, and when I asked for flights the same day and the previous day, there were still no seats. I contacted my travel agent, (James at the Flight Center, Kingston), and asked them to check availability. There were seats available on all flights.

The saying if at first you do not succeed try, try again.

This is true with the airline in question. I was told it is always best to try until you get what you wanted.

I waited a couple of hours until the customer service representative would be going home or in a better mood, and tried again.

“Yes sir, that is done. Is there anything else I can help you with?” another helpful assistant replied.

My faith in the airline was restored until I had this sandwich for breakfast.

NLP Now – Surface Structure Deep Structure

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When we talk about surface structure and deep structure, we are referring to the way we communicate with the world about us.

We have seen previously that in 1956, George Miller came up with the notion of the human being only being able to handle 7 pieces of information at any time plus or minus 2. (click here).

It is my belief from my working with hypnosis and PhotoReading that all experiences we are exposed to will be placed in the brain.

We have the concept of two brains. The first is the conscious brain, that part of the brain that we are aware of, our thinking brain, the one we talk to ourselves with, see and hear with, the one that we have feelings with. The second brain is our subconscious brain, this is the brain we are not aware of. It is the pat of us that does things for us without us consciously thinking about it, like waking up at the correct time in the morning, multiplying 2 x 2, talking, walking.

It is my belief that Miller’s 7+/-2 concept is for the conscious mind, as with hypnosis it is possible to access information not available in the “waking” state, things we did not realised we had noticed.

With PhotoReading we can absorb vast amounts of information, 20,000 – 30,000 words per minute, a page a second. This information goes into our inner mind, and is available to us, but we have to activate it, get it from our inner mind, our subconscious mind.

If we understand the above and accept the understanding now, we can liken the brain as an iceberg  floating in the sea. Two thirds of an iceberg is bolow the surface, only a third is visable. And so it is with the human brain. Information that is consciously available to us is that of the iceberg above water, the surface structure, yet below the waterline the subconscious is even more information, the deep structure.

The iceberg effect

When we use communication, talk to people, pass on information, we delete a lot of information, we give surface structure information. The cat sat on the branch of the tree with Peter. (NLP Now – Peter and the Wolf).

The statement given does not say which cat, how it sat, on which branch, how high was it, how long had it been there, etc, etc. This information is at the deep structure, and as NLPer’s it is our job to help our clients get to this information should it be appropriate, to enrich their world.

We will use such method and tools as those in the Meta Model.