Category: Thoughts

It is said “nothing lasts forever“.

I have had a long relationship, which is going to come to an end I fear.

When the relationship finally comes to an end, I will have a period of time when I will feel lost, empty, longing for the days when I go and visit for my pleasure.

The book shops own by Borders here in the UK, has gone into administration, that is to say that the company could soon cease trading, that they are trading at a loss.

I love researching for information, reading books, more books and more books, and Borders was my favorites book shop. Their selection of books was wide a varied, their staff always willing to talk and impart knowledge.

As with friendships, business relationship, associations, circumstances change, and sometimes the circumstances are out of our control, and the relationship must come to an end.

Sorry to loose you as you are coming to an end Borders, I will sadly miss you, Now I will have to find a replacement for you.

I have put my thoughts down in the articles I am like a theatre and I am a theatre on tour, and I would like to add some advice I had from a great American Stage Hypnotist and trainer, Jerry Valley whom I learned such a lot from, enabling me to become a Stage Hypnotist myself.

He said that the performer, the actor, the trainer is not the star of the show, it is the audience, the participants who are the stars.

If ever the person on stage, the Stage Hypnotist, the leader, the trainer, ever becomes the star, then the show is over.

It is an idea that I have taken into all my trainings, courses, presentations.

I am not the star.

I may be the leader, the person the people or participants follow on their journey of learning. I may be the guide, but that is all I am. I must take the people on a journey, using whatever may be in my toolbox of training and communication skills to paint a picture so that they can understand what is being said and that they can make the changes they seek, to place and install what has been taught  into their lifestyle.

Some people may appreciate my style of imparting information, others may not. Some people like jazz music, some people like opera. There is a place for all styles, and to experience different styles can give us choice, perhaps being a jazz fan and experiencing opera for the first time will enhance the appreciation of jazz, perhaps listening to opera for the first time will enable you to become equally a jazz and opera fan at the same time, perhaps listening to opera for the first time will mean that opera becomes the preferred style, or perhaps it means that opera becomes a type of music that will be never visited again. But now you have choice. 

I know that I have touched many hearts in my journey, and that I have helped people to gain and change, so I am looking forward to the future to meet many more, in many more countries, being able to offer many styles of training.

Yes I am a theatre, as I wrote about in the article I am like a theatre, but I am a theatre on tour.

My work takes me around the world, China, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, India, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Italy etc, giving courses, training people, passing-on knowledge, and working with people, and unlike the UK where I also give training, I am not the producer, I am not the organiser, I co-produce with the local organisers who become part of the theatre.

As I guest, as a co-producer, and sometimes a member of the actors or training team, I have to fit into their style, their play, their script, their culture, their understanding, their requirements.

My trainings can be said to be something like a theatre production is Mama Mia, Cats, in the West End of London or on Broadway in New York. That is my play, my musical, that I have rehearsed, that I know, that I am comfortable with and people come to see that.

Then I am asked to be part of someone else’s production, someones else’s training, to join a team of actors working on an operatic production in La Scala in Milano.

I have to be ready to change my performance, put on a new set of clothes, a new costume. Yes it will be uncomfortable for me at the beginning, and it could be strange for those that come to see the production, like knowing a famous pop star suddenly singing an opera, a comedian changing roles to play in a tragedy.

It is good to be adaptable and to love my profession, my job.

Some years ago, a participant attending one of my courses said to me that “I am like a theatre“.

This confused me, and I did not have chance to asked why I was like a theatre until the next day. All sort of ideas raced through my mind as I tried to unravel the saying.

Was it that I was run down, repeating the same production time after time?

Was it that I was producing material which was for a small specialised audience?

Was it that I am only open certain times of the day?

What was it?

When I met with the participant again, I asked what did they mean “I am like a theatre“.

It was explained that, I was like a play in a theatre.

I am the author, putting together the content of the course, and arranging the sequence of the content so the participants can follow.

I am the producer, often arranging the venues, the facilities, handouts, the dates, the advertising and marketing.
 
I am the theatre manager, making sure that the facilities and layout of the room/s are correct.

I am the stage manager, arranging the running of and the timing of the course, making sure any assistants and translators are doing the job correctly.

I am the administration, or the back office, collecting the course fees, printing the certificates, sending and receiving messages, keeping the diary.

I am the musicians, making sure that the appropriate music is played at the right time.

I am the director, keeping the course on track, making any changes that need to be made.

I am the actor, standing in front of the participants, giving the information.

That is what I love about my job.

Today I have had so many things go wrong, but the worse one has been my trusted Chinese dual phone, iPhone mobile phone giving up the ghost, becoming dead, stopping working, and I have had to dig out my old HTC Diamond, a mobile phone I am not that impressed with.

I am most unhappy, but what can I do? I have had the Chinese phone for about six months, and did not pay that much for it, it is a gadget and I enjoyed it whilst it lasted, it has broken, so I must get on with life.

If I went about from this moment on with a cloud over my head, to be in a depressed state, feeling sorry for myself, I would force myself into a deeper state of “nobody loves me“, “my phone does not work, what am I to do?“

It is just a phone, like other people, I can go back and be with my old companion, all I have to do is switch it on, put the sim card in, and away I go again.

It may seem strange at the start, getting used to the old ways, but if I put that strangeness to one side, and put a smile on my face, life will continue, and I will be happy, and after all, are you really interested in my problems? I doubt it.

Too often we try and draw other people into our unhappiness, our feeling of strangeness, our being unfamiliar with what we are, where we are or what we are doing, and try and bring others down into our state. I see this happen sometimes in my and other trainers courses. Perhaps one or two participants may not like the style of the training, may not understand what the trainer is giving them, and tries to influence the other participants, bring them down into their world of unhappiness. This is a situation I love, as then I can use my skills to correct the position.

Today I have had to do it on myself, change my state, use my Oh Poo Poo. I have too much to do to let a broken phone draw me down into the depths of unhappiness.

Now I am back in the UK, the image and voice of the Good Witch from the North in the story and film The Wizard of Oz and her saying “There’s no place like home” (click) keeps rolling about my head.

Also, there is nothing more comfortable than my own bed.

It is not that I am not more than happy where I stay, in fact the hospitality, the quality and yes the comfort given to me could not be better, and even I have a fridge called after me, “Phillips’ fridge“, my bedroom and more in Gaziantep, but there is nothing like sleeping in my own bed.

It seems that I do not sleep (alone) longer than a week in the same bed, as I travel from one country to another. I may stay in the same hotel on each visit to a city, but it is rare that I am given the same room.

Not having the same bed on a regular basis gives rise to a big problem for me, as happen to my first night back in my own bed.

It could be my age, or, it could be that I drink too much prior to going to bed, but often I wake up wanting to go to the toilet for a pee pee.

Last night I woke up at about 3am, and as I became aware of my needs I entered into confusion.

Half wake and half asleep, where was I?

The dim light coming through the window curtains told me I was in the bedroom in Gaziantep, but my conscious mind said I was somewhere else, but it could no figure out where. It took me a few moments to realise I was back in my own bed.

Another situation I have to be aware of when I wake up in the middle of the night, and there is no light to orient myself by, as happened in my last stay in Gaziantep when there were many times of electricity cuts, where is the bathroom?

Instead of going into the bathroom, did I go into the wardrobe cupboard. Now that could be embarrassing.

Once I have satisfied my requirements, I have to fine my way back to the bed. Ouch, I should have not left the suitcase there.

Oh “There’s no place like home” even if my temporary bed is known as “Phillips’ bed“.

I am there to fill people up with knowledge, learnings, to make changes, give additions like accessories to a car, to wash the windscreens so that they can see better, polish their paintwork, pump their tires up.

It is good to see them leave my forecourt like a new car, with enough fuel for the next part of their journey wherever that may take them and whoever may be going on the journey with them. Sometimes I wish I too could make the journey with them, but two’s company and three’s a crowd.

Then I wonder where I can fill my tank up.

But I love my job, and I do have enough in my tank to give to others if they want it.

Thank you “Anonymous” who ever you are and where ever you may be, for sending me an SMS text message late last night, to remind me that I must turn my clocks and watches back one hour.

For those of you reading this blog, certain countries have this strange system of twice a year, turning forwards or backwards, altering the clocks by one hour.

I believe it came from the 2nd world War years, when it was found that by altering the time, by putting the clocks back one hour, an extra hours daylight was gained.

So, I had an extra hours sleep. But if I had not been informed, I would have arrived at the venue an hour early, and wondering why there were no participants for me to train.

As I received the text message, I was just about to sleep, and panicked. Were they right? Was “Anonymous” having a joke with me, meaning I would arrive one hour late to the NLP Practitioner here in Gaziantep?

I contacted my host to Mehpare to ask her, but she did not know either.
 
Oh Poo Poo.

A quick check on the internet showed that “Anonymous” was right.

But what about the participants on the course. Do they know, or are the confused, sitting in the training room thinking I am not turning up?

Thank you “Anonymous” for giving me an extra hour in bed. Can you do that every day please?

It is always sad when loosing a friend, a relative, and today I have lost a friend.

Perhaps that friendship has had its’ problems, perhaps due to language, perhaps due to beliefs, perhaps due to culture, perhaps due to clashes of personality, but it is not good to dwell on what went wrong, but to remember the good times.

Some weeks ago my brother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer, and gradually he went down.

Today he lost his fight, and has joined his ancestors to watch over those that remain.

I feel a little empty, but I must keep my state high, as I have nearly 30 people here in Milan waiting to start the last day of the course I am delivering.

Life continues for the rest of us.