Just this very second, I have received 117 emails in one block, ten minutes earlier I had emptied my email box, not one of those 117 were from someone who needs information, wanted to talk to me, or just say hello. There are emails from Nigeria offering me money, banks asking me to verify my passwords, notices from some lottery fund saying I had won millions of dollars, letters from Russian ladies offering me love and marriage, or Viagra tablets. Thank you, I need none of them.
People have made me promises, to do certain things, to pay for my work, to honour commitments, but I find that they have not even considered doing what they said they would.
I have had to contend with family arguments, where perhaps one family member has said one thing, and upset another member, and that member has told another and upset that member, and things grew out of control until no-one speaks to anyone, and tears flow, even at a very special time in ones life which should have brought the family together.
I have seen so much malipulation between people, people feeding only certain information to others to influence the outcomes of how others understand situations. Some of these people trying to manipulate others are so young, they have just discovered the “art”, but they do not realise that their seniors of 94 years have seen it, heard it and done it, got and warn the teeshirt, but taken it off, and left it in the closet for reference.
My Internet Service Provider (ISP) where I house my many web sites (http://www.nlpnow.net) is not giving good service. Many times I try and access the web sites and I cannot, as their servers are down. How much business have I lost? How many people have tried to book onto my courses and cannot?
It is the start of the university and college year here in Kingston upon Thames, and many of the students rent apartments here in Norbiton Hall. They are fresh from the nest, free from mommy and daddy and let their hair down, not considering the fact that playing music late at night, with the thumping base penetrating the walls and floors into the early hours. Their lesson do not start until mid morning or not at all.
There are builders, redecorating the apartments after the previous students wrecked the place. They are drilling, banging, causing vast amounts of dust up and down the stair wells.
Oh for a bit of piece and quiet.
Then to cap it all, I hear that something I did or said has been commented on by one person, to another, to another, etc, and has been changed from the original context, to become something else.
It is called Chinese Whispers. Perhaps you have played the game, I do it sometimes in my courses. You whisper a sentence into the ear of a friend, The Cat Sat on the Mat, and get that person to whisper what they heard to the next person, so on and so forth. When the exercise is done, it is surprising the resulting sentence of the last person, perhaps “the camel is wearing a sock on its’ head.”
Words play a big part in how we perceive and understand others. Perhaps one is talking to another person about a friendship, about a conversation with another, and it is said that the conversation is homely, friendly and intimate. The person listening to that conversation hears the word intimate, goes on a Transderivational Search, and comes up with an understanding that the two people are, well, you know, very friendly. This gets passed to the next person in the chain, so on and so forth.
In conversations we delete, distort and generalise information to make sense of what we are hearing, and equally when we relay the messages on, we again we delete, distort and generalise the information that comes out of our mouth, only giving the tip of the iceberg, information from the surface level, the 7+/-2 pieces of information.
Since I started writing this entry I have had another 72 emails. Oh Poo Poo.
The only thing is to pick myself up, put a smile on my face, feel good, and start preparing for my next trip to Turkey this weekend. Great, more courses, I feel good.