Category: Travels

The 4th Duke of Sandwich, an 18th century English aristocrat, has much to answer for, whether the name sandwich is attributed to his name because he played the card game cribbage for hours on end, and did not wish to dirty the playing cards because he had eaten meat with his bare hands, or because he wanted to eat whilst working long hours at his desk.

I like a sandwich sometimes, especially the deep filled ones with lots of content, they are convenient to carry when wrapped up, they keep fresh when wrapped in cling-film, they are easy to handle, and are not messy.

The sandwich is not a British institution of course, it would be presumptuous of me to think so, in fact the sandwich goes back to the time people started travelling and wanted to take food with them. There is mention for example of Hillel the elder, an ancient Jewish sage, putting lamb meat (Pashal) and herbs inside flat bread, or the Egyptians feeding their slaves matzos (sandwiches) perhaps as they built the pyramids, the Romans calling the meal “cibus Hilleli” or Hillel’s Snack.

The sandwich is worldwide. I found out that the fillings probably are not.

I will make the  sandwich the night before. I take the loaf of bread from the freezer, yes I freeze the loaf when I buy it, as each slice is quick to defrost when needed, and the loaf stays fresh for weeks as I only take out what I need. I create my sandwich, wrap it in cling-film, and the morning you can relax as it has already been made.

I made a favourite sandwich of mine a cheese and onion. I prefer Cheddar cheese and a freshly cut onion. Later I gave one of my sandwiches to a Turkish friend who said

       “WHAT!!! ONIONS IN A SANDWICH!!!!” He must want me to stink all day!!

promptly took the onions out throwing them away into a bin.

My filters of what is right and wrong are influenced by my filters, my culture, my beliefs, my upbringing, my understandings of the world, my likes and dislikes. (See NLP Now – Transderivational Search)

When having wine with a meal, convention states that you drink red wine with meat, and white wine with fish. I like wine, I do not drink much as I get drunk too easy, and I especially like white wine, therefore I will drink white wine with all meals.

I like hot chocolate drinks. Often when I go out for a meal after a course with colleagues or participants, and the waiter takes the order for the food then asks what I would like to drink, I will ask for a hot chocolate, with the meal. One of my translators in Turkey, Halil, thinks I am insane, how can I do that, Donatella Stefanini who was an assistant at my last PhotoReading course in Milan, felt the same way as I drank my thick hot chocolate with my meal in New York New York buffet near the Central Station.

Yet again Donatella and other people on a NLP Practitioner course I was running in Rome thought how strange it was that I had chips, (British chips, not French Fries), with my pizza. I happen to like chips.

The Chinese love noddles, I travel to China and Malaysia a lot, and have to eat noodles. The way they eat noodles with chopsticks is to suck them up with the mouth, allowing any unused to fall back onto the plate. Lots of slurping.

Donatella whilst I was in Rome, invited me to a friends restaurant for a special spaghetti meal. When the meal was placed before me I instinctively eat like I would in China or Malaysia, until I heard a strong voice from across the table, “Phillip, don’t do that.”

Note :- A noodle includes all varieties from all origins, whereas Pasta refers specifically to Italian style noodle products such as spaghetti, penne, fettuccie or liguine. They are the same.

We all have our filters our understandings of the world.

Perhaps you have a different cat in the tree. (see Peter and the Wolf).

We have to learn that other people have theirs.

Today I met an old friend who poured his heart out to me. I did not feel it was my place to advise or offer my thoughts on the subject as we are quite close.

Colin is a kind man, and is always there to help others, often putting others before himself. This often leads to him being used, because people know he will be there for them.

He had been asked to help a colleague with some task at work, and although Colin had his own work to do, and he had promised friends outside the workplace and after working hours to meet for a social gathering, he saw how important it was for his work colleague to get the task completed on time. So he agreed, delaying and even canceling his own jobs.

When he went to help his colleague at his desk, he found that there had been nothing prepared, no paperwork, the office was in a mess, nothing was ready. He looked at his colleague’s fellow workers, and they were laughing and joking about something that had happened that day, and his colleague was taking part in the laughter.

When Colin prompted his colleague that is was getting late and they should start the task, the colleague told him to relax, join in the fun, the task did not really need to be done now, it could wait.

Colin said he saw red, he could feel his state change to one of anger, fury. But he held his state, (Mustapha, Fred, Antonio), knowing that he had not been able to do his own work, with the implication that perhaps his employers would blame him for being late and would probably not give him promotion or a salary increase. He saw his own friends in his mind’s eye getting ready to go out to enjoy themselves, and he was stuck where he was.

Colin told me that this was not the first time this situation had happened to him.

I know what I felt deep inside my own feelings, but was I right to put my thoughts on to Colin.

Tell me what you would have told Colin please.