It could be my age, at 95, bits of me are wrong, and as I have written in the past, I had to have a certain procedure, a coronary angioplasty, or stent placed in the heart. This has meant that I have to take drugs, something that I do not like or enjoy, as they do effect the workings of the body and brain.
In the article Missing Days, I had mentioned that my doctor had increased the beta blocker drug Atenolol from 25mg to 50mg, as I had reported a few aches and pains. These aches and pains were caused by I do not know, maybe stress dealing with people and situations, maybe it was the way I was sleeping, maybe problems with my blood supply. But this increase I believe had a more undesirable effect upon me, I found that my immediate short term memory, that tracks what I have just done or said, was difficult to access, in other words, I could not always follow what I was doing.
I used strategies to overcome this short fall in my courses, to help me and my memory.
Another outcome for me of taking the drug Atenolol as a beta blocker, is the heart rate goes down, from a normal male of 74 bpm to one of about 50 bpm.
As a result of the adverse effects I was getting, and revisit to my doctors a few months ago, I had the Atenolol reduced back to 25mg, but a new drug introduced, a drug from the nitrate group, containing isosorbide mononitrate, again acting on the cardiovascular system,
I had a terrible two weeks as I changed the drugs. I was at the start of a visit to Malaysia, with the heat, humidity, lack of exercise, changes in food, time differences.
I felt very bad. Light headed as if I was about to pass out, unstable on my feet, and having to concentrate even more on what I was doing, especially driving a car, which at the best of times in Malaysia is like being on the dodgems ride at fair ground.
Another visit to my doctor upon my return to the UK, resulted in a junior doctor reviewing my case, asking questions for half an hour. She was shocked when she took my pulse, 30 bpm, Oh Poo Poo, I must be dead. (I think she cannot count, I checked and it was 52 bpm).
As a result my drug list has been amended again, I will not be taking Atenolol, the drug that reduces the heart beat, and which probably makes me light headed as I may not have been getting enough blood supply to the brain.
Drugs, medicines, as with anything that one becomes used to, physically, mentally, emotionally, perhaps addiction like smoking, if it is not good for you, cut it out, stop it. Have they been effecting us in a bad way, detrimental to our well being, our sanity, our future? Have they contributed to our future? Was there a future with them?
Giving things up may have after affects, withdrawal systems, but they will go. With the right attitude of mind, doing things differently, seeking new ways, new activities and relationships, replacing them, and with the help of mental techniques like NLP, these after affects can be reduced or removed.
Or perhaps I will not miss the drugs which I have to give up, and feel better for doing it.
I will have to find new ways, not visit those places in my life that could enhance the withdrawal systems, and get on to save my sanity.
I write this, so others who are in a similar situation will know that they are not the only ones out there, and there is a way forward.