Today I met an old friend who poured his heart out to me. I did not feel it was my place to advise or offer my thoughts on the subject as we are quite close.
Colin is a kind man, and is always there to help others, often putting others before himself. This often leads to him being used, because people know he will be there for them.
He had been asked to help a colleague with some task at work, and although Colin had his own work to do, and he had promised friends outside the workplace and after working hours to meet for a social gathering, he saw how important it was for his work colleague to get the task completed on time. So he agreed, delaying and even canceling his own jobs.
When he went to help his colleague at his desk, he found that there had been nothing prepared, no paperwork, the office was in a mess, nothing was ready. He looked at his colleague’s fellow workers, and they were laughing and joking about something that had happened that day, and his colleague was taking part in the laughter.
When Colin prompted his colleague that is was getting late and they should start the task, the colleague told him to relax, join in the fun, the task did not really need to be done now, it could wait.
Colin said he saw red, he could feel his state change to one of anger, fury. But he held his state, (Mustapha, Fred, Antonio), knowing that he had not been able to do his own work, with the implication that perhaps his employers would blame him for being late and would probably not give him promotion or a salary increase. He saw his own friends in his mind’s eye getting ready to go out to enjoy themselves, and he was stuck where he was.
Colin told me that this was not the first time this situation had happened to him.
I know what I felt deep inside my own feelings, but was I right to put my thoughts on to Colin.
Tell me what you would have told Colin please.