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Coaching English Courses NLP Travels

Frustration

I was frustrated.

I presupposed that certain things, actions, people’s thoughts were as I saw them, understood and believed in my own mind. My cat on the mat or my cat in the tree.

I was asked if I had written an article or blog on how the brain works (to follow) by a member of the course I am giving here in Istanbul, Turkey. I said as yet I had not as I need time to write it, but I would. Quite rightly, the participant asked that he be emailed when I had published it, and others overhearing the conversation also asked to be informed, to which I said “join the blog and SUBSCRIBE on the left-hand side”.

I pointed to the area on my computer screen and the participant entered his email, and pressed SUBSCRIBE.

Nothing happened.

How long had this facility not been working? How many people had failed in the past? Were you one?

I tested other features on the blog, and found errors. Entering any word in the SEARCH facility resulted in always the Paypal screen being displayed which people are sent to, to download The Castle MP3 hypnosis track.

I contacted the supplier of the blog service, and after half an hour, was told that there was a problem, and they had been corrected now.

So Subscribe NOW if you wish on the left-hand sidebar, it now works, please let me know if it does not work for you.

That meant I left the office at 8:30pm, twelve hours after arriving, and with half-an-hours lunch break, the rest of the time being spent training people, presenting, teaching and using my NLP skills to solve participants problems of frustration, lack of confidence and other issues.

Please do not take me wrong, I love my work, I would not do so many hours, put so much effort into my trainings, if that was not so. I get a buzz from seeing people learning, overcoming hurdles, removing barriers, gaining confidence, achieving what they wanted in life, learning a language, and so quickly. I love my work.

But where is my time? I have so much I want to do, learn, accomplish. I plan my day, I use time-management, but still I have not enough time in the day to satisfy my wishes and requirements, as well as the wishes and requirements of friends, colleagues, participants and customers.

I get frustrated.

That frustration brings my state down, you begin to doubt your ability, confidence drains away, you blame other people. Why was there a problem with the SUBSCRIBE button? Why are people late, eating into the lunch break? Why do people want things now?

When you get frustrated, it is a state, as happiness, sadness, joy are too. We create these states ourselves, in our mind.

Just think of a happy time, perhaps a great holiday by the beach, relaxing, with the blue sky, seagulls swooping down into the sea, the waves gently washing the sand as the waves gently break in the shallow water. (click to see video of Sri Lanka or click to see video of the seashore at Rixos Premium Belek).

What happens to you as you picture and experience thoughts in your mind? Do you get a good feeling inside, does your state change? Yes.

Notice your sitting position now. Notice how you feel.

Now, push your bottom into the back of the chair, sit upright, shoulders back. Notice how you feel. Different?

Perhaps we are too quick to blame others for our own state of frustration. “Why did they not do this?” “Why did they not do that?” “Why are they late?”

I should have checked the SUBSCRIBE button myself, like I should have checked the frustration I felt at the time, so to change and correct the situation, change your state to a good happy successful state, and not presuppose it is others problems or fault.

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Travels

A long day in Istanbul



Sunday seemed a long day. I day two courses running together, a NLP Practitioner Course with eager participants wanting to know how NLP works, and an English language course, where I have the students for three session a day, helping their belief systems, their memory, their relaxation, their learning.

I also had a new translator, her first experience of working with a trainer like me. She did a great job, dealing with my accent, the structure of my English language which is based on NLP, the Meta Model (click to read), the Milton Model, using words that she had never heard before, syncronicity, transderivational search, having to deal with concepts of sleep and the workings of the brain, plus the different, difficult characters and personalities of the participants.

Most translators in Turkey’s universities are told that they should only work for a maximum of forty minutes, then stop. I certainly cannot work that way, I can go on for three hours, with my metaphors, stories, demonstrations. I have to as we are going through a process. Can you put a chocolate cake in the oven to cook, and half way through the process, take it out to rest?

It amazes me that my translators do so well.

The day started with a long walk to the school near Taxim Square. I did not have enough money for a taxi, and the tram from Taxim Tunel to Taxim Square was not working so early.

The streets were very quite. It was enjoyable to have space, noticing the national flags hanging above my head, buildings and shops I had never seen before, or should I say never noticed before. 

Taxim Hill, the Oxford Street of Istanbul on a quiet dayTaxim Square, I realise I am tired, I am hot, I am hungry as I had no breakfast, and no money not even to buy a simit bread, but I take my mind off things as I watch the police arrive in their coaches plus a water canon vehicle. There must be a demonstration expected.

Part of Taxim Square with lots of riot police and a police water canon vehicleTaxim Square, but the walk had made me too hot, I was sweating, I was so wet, my shirt was wringing wet, but I had a course to start, I had to go on. It was embarrassing to stand their in this condition, but with the help of Mustapha (hara), the day started well.

Halfway through the morning, I had to stop my talk, as down in the street below a procession of young people marched past, it was a national celebration of youth. Bands played, drums beat, and voices shouted out. The Turkish people love to march it seems, and are very proud of their flag and founder, Ataturk (click). I hope they do not intend to use the water canon against the youths matching towards Taxim Square.

A march going towards Taxim Square in Istanbul for a national celebration of youthLa Cantine in Taxim Tunel Square, their wraps are tasty, the best.

Categories
Travels

Mosquitos

The mosquito, I hate them.


A mosquitoOh poo poo. (click)

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Memory

RAM Your Memory

To perfect a good memory, we must be able to learn to relax. We must pay attention to what we are learning, storing or remembering, to become aware, there must be some meaning as to why we are learning, storing or remembering and we should have the motivation to use our memory in the first place.

By Relaxing, paying Attention and giving Meaning by being Motivated (RAM) to the memory task, you will entrain our minds, our memory to be what we wish it to be.

You have the same brain as Gianni Golfera, Doug O’Brian, Einstein. How do they do it?

They have techniques that can be easily learnt. By practice, and playing, it is easy to remember, just RAM information into your brain.

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Memory

Memory – Increase Memory

The one thing that humans have is above all, is a memory that is thought to be superior to any living thing. The human brain has the capacity to learn and adapt to the surroundings and requirements of life.

Another thing about the human being, is that nine out of ten people believe they have a poor memory, in fact we have the same memory capacity as the world memory champions, we just have not learnt to use it in ways that we will remember, in an easy and fun way.

Yesterday I gave a one day course based on the research and learning taken from world memory champions, especially Dominic O’Brian, and the work of the man with the biggest memory Gianni Golfera.

Through my many courses taught throughout the world, Mind Maps, Accelerated Learning and Teaching, NLP, Hypnosis, Stage Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy, Speed Reading and PhotoReading, I have gathered together many techniques I have found invaluable in improving memory.

I was amazed at the ability of all ages were able to remember easily, names, telephone number, and lists of random words.

I love my work.

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Eating Out NLP Travels

Airline Food

From previous entries you may have seen the offering of food on aircraft as we jet across the blue sky, looking down at the white cloud tops, the rivers meandering down to the sea, the towns and cities, and the roads and railroads linking them.

I wonder how many people realise I am up here?

Aircraft food is pretty standard really in the quality, it differs in the content.

Turkish Airlines offer reasonable food for a three and a half hour flight. It is usually hot, and you do get a choice of two main meals, mostly chicken or pasta.

My last flight offered the usual, and in the cramped seating I was able to stave off my hunger.


Turkish Airlines foodcat on the mat or cat in the tree, and getting it wrong?

I do it a lot.

Categories
Coaching NLP

WHAT, WHY, WHERE, WHO, WHEN, HOW

When we have a task, something we wish to achieve, there are two models we can apply that can help us. They are the SMART. Model and the GROW Model. We can also apply the WHAT, WHY, WHERE, WHO, WHEN and HOW model.

By applying or asking the questions WHAT? WHY? WHERE? WHO? WHEN? HOW? we can cover all aspects, all requirements, to know what resources we need to achieve your goal or outcome.

WHAT?

What are you going to do? What are you going to make? What are you going to purchase?

This is the task, the goal or the outcome you wish to achieve.

Be positive in defining the WHAT? Be bold, strong. It is not good enough to say “I want to be rich.” You must say by how much, make it as if you were describing the richest person in the world.

Ask, “WHAT am I going to do?”

WHY?

Why are you going to do this task, attain the goal the outcome? Again be decisive, Do not say “So I can save the world.” Chunk down, give specific information as to the reasons you will be doing this task.

Ask, “WHY is this important for me to do it?”

WHERE?

Where are you going to do, perform, carry-out this task? If you are going to teach Scuba Diving, is it feasible to do this in the middle of the Sahara desert, where there is no water.

Ask, “WHERE am I going to do this?”

WHO?

Who is going to perform, do, carry-out the task? Is it just you? Do you need other people? What sort of people? How many? Who else needs to be involved?

Ask,”WHO is going to do what?”

WHEN?

When is this task to be carried out? Remember the SMART Model, it has to be timely.

Ask, “WHEN do I want this to be completed?”

HOW?

How are you going to carry-out the task? What steps do you need to put in-place? What resources do you need to accomplish the task?

Ask, “HOW am I going to do this?”

By applying the WHAT, WHY, WHERE, WHO, WHEN, HOW principle, you will find the “building blocks”, the steps, the resources you need to succeed.

Categories
Coaching NLP

GROW – The GROW Model in Coaching

Another model for coaching people as well as the S.M.A.R.T Model (click to read) is the GROW Model.

The acronym stands for :- 

         G      Goal    
         R      Reality
         O     Options   
         W     Will

GOAL

As with the SMART Model the goal or outcome to be achieved must be specific. It should be measurable, you should know when you will have had done the task, and it should be timely, you should set deadlines, a time frame.  

REALITY

You need to understand where you are starting from, to fully understand the situation you are at, at this moment, rather than what was thought or imagined, to understand the concept of the Map is not the Territory (Click to read).

OPTIONS

Now you know the situation you are in now and the goals or outcomes you wish to achieve, you need to look at how you are going to get there, what can you do, what strategies you have available to you. These options must be SMART. 

WILL

You must have the will to achieve the goal or outcome. You must have motivation. As you work through the GROW model, keep in mind the following as well :-

  • WHO is going to do this, and will be responsible?
  • WHAT is to be achieved?
  • WHY are you doing this?
  • WHEN do you want to do this and to be completed?
  • HOW are you going to do this?
Categories
Coaching NLP

S.M.A.R.T. – The SMART Model

When you have a plan, set a goal or outcome, if you have the correct intensions, objectives in place, you will have a greater chance of achieving what you want.   Be SMART.

An model, the S.M.A.R.T. Model, can be used to help you become aware of if you have all the steps or objectives in place to meet your outcomes or goals. The acronym stands for :- 

   S      Specific
   M      Measurable
   A      Achievable, Attainable
   R      Realistic
   T      Timely, Time-bound

SPECIFIC

What you wish to achieve, should be concrete, you should define and detail the outcome or goal, to know what you want. 

Consider the following questions to being specific :-

  • WHO is going to do this, and will be responsible?
  • WHAT is to be achieved?
  • WHERE will this take place?
  • WHY are you doing this?
  • WHEN do you want to do this and to be completed?
  • HOW are you going to do this?

MEASURABLE

Can you see or measure the progress you are achieving and when you have completed the task?

If you plan to read three books in a week to research a subject, how will you know as each day passes that you have read so many pages, chapters, or a book? How will you know you have read the three books at the end of the week?

ACHIEVABLE

Another word could be attainable, is the goal or outcome within your reach?

Have you got the right resources available to you, have you enough knowledge? Is the time-frame correct, have you given yourself enough time, or is the time too long that you loose motivation and have no commitment?

REALISTIC

Can the outcome be achieved? Is it physically possible to do this? Have you all the resources available to you, finance, materials, do they exist? At this time it is not realistic to build a house on the Moon.

TIMELY

Another word can be time-bound. Have you set a timetable or deadline to achieve the outcome or goal?

Is the time the correct time to do the task? Skiing in the Scotish mountains in the summer months is not feasable as there will be no snow.

Do you wish to loose 20lbs in weight? To do it in one week is not timely, you have not allowed enough time.

      Time must be measurable, attainable and realistic.

Be S.M.A.R.T. use the SMART Model on all you do, and be aware of it when working with others, setting tasks for your employees, your students, your coaching clients.

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Books Coaching NLP Videos

Coaching Course ends


Today is a day of rest.

I have worked for five days on a coaching course and at the same time, ran three session a day with participants learning English. I am quite tired as it has been a difficult time, for once the facilities have not been up to the standard I have been used to over the years, I have needed Mustapha here with me in Turkey.

Today I will do nothing, except write the blog, go for a walk to get food, and prepare for the next round of courses starting tomorrow with Memory Skills, following on with an NLP Practitioner course, then a Mind Map course. Nine days without a break.

I enjoyed the participants over the five days, they inspired me, as they wanted to learn despite background problems. It is when you get students eager to learn that you move up a gear, and proceed with enthusiasm.

Durring the course we looked at many aspects of coaching, especially saying nothing with style. Graham Alexander the World’s number one Executive Coach, once told me the art of a good coach is to say nothing with style. The exercises to learn this technique were fun, and the participants soon got the hang of it.

We looked at the S.M.A.R.T. Model. (click to read) and the levels of beliefs (to follow).

As normal the course ended with sadness that all good things come to an end, we had become a team a group of motivated people, but the participants left with a knowledge that they had learnt a lot, and to know that they were on their way to achieve what they wanted from the course.

Me? I missed the ferry, missed the last train of Tunel, and entered an empty flat again. But joy, I found an internet signal, I can watch British TV on Slingbox via my computer in peace, eating one of my favourite wrap meals from La cantine, near Taxim Tunel, before having a good nights sleep.

            
The Smart Model