Categories
NLP Travels

Your Comfort Zone

It seems that these days I do not have conformity in my life.

I have never had a real 9 – 5 job. Well I nearly did when I first started work at the tender age of 18 at the National Coal Board‘s (NCB) Computer Power site in Cannock in the Midlands of the UK (what is the UK? click). Here we worked twelve hour shifts, eight in the morning till eight at night, and visa versa, keeping what was then the largest computer site in Europe working, after which we wanted to go home.

My work giving training courses around the world, means that it is not every day that I have a course, in fact I would say that nearly 50% of my time is not presenting or training. The other 50% is taken-up by research, reading, seeing clients on a 1-2-1 basis, and clients may wish to see me anytime of the day.

As I said, I give training courses all over the world, traveling to different time zones. My body clock has now seemed to have acclimatised to these ever changing time zones. It seems that I do not sleep in the same bed for more than a week. I do not eat at the same table, or eat the same type of food from one day to the next, and my breakfast is never the same.

It is the bed that I miss conformity and similarity the most. It is the one time when you go to bed that you need to switch off, relax, sleep, and allow the plasticity of the brain, the learning, moving short term memory to long term memory to take place.

There are beds that are hard as if sleeping on a hard concrete floor, there are beds that envelope you like into the arms of your lover, there are beds that are lumpy and the lumps seem to attack one part of the body all night, there are beds that sag in the middle and you continually roll into the dip, there are beds that are so big, that you feel lost and need a map to find your way around, and there are beds that are too small that you are frightened that you may fall out of them in the middle of the night.

I have slept, or tried to, in all of them.

But the pillow you place your head on that causes me the most discomfort.

Some pillows are too high so it feels as if someone is trying to break it off, some are too thin that it seems your head is sinking into the bowels of the earth and will drop off. They cause the neck to stretch and ache all night and give what we say in English “a crick in the neck” or stiff neck. Where in hotels the pillow is not thick enough, I may use folded towels, anything,  under the pillow to raise the height.

There are odd shaped pillows. Once I was sleeping on a heart shaped pillow, oh how I miss that one.

There are pillow with feathers which mould into the shape of your head, fine if you do not turn-over on a regular basis. There are pillows with fibre within, which when new are fine, but with wear and tear, the fibres tend to move to the outer edges leaving a valley in the middle with no support. No matter how you push and shove the fibre, it will not go back into the middle.

There are foam pillows that support well, until the foam begins to breakdown, gets lumpy, so that you can feel the lumps reshaping the side of your face.

Life is full of discomfort.

Try this little exercise.

Clasp your hands together, interlocking your fingers.

Which thumb is on top? Is it your right hands’ thumb or your left hand?

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Pull your hands apart, and then thread them together, re-clasp your hands moving one hand up, so that the other thumb is on top, and the fingers are interlaced differently.

It does not feel good, does it?

Now keep interlacing your hands together so that your fingers change position and you get the other thumb on top, and keep doing it for a minute, then stop.

Now check your feeling towards having your hands in the correct position or wrong position.

Not much difference?

Sometimes we need to go outside our comfort zone, way, way outside perhaps where we feel real discomfort.

It is when we do that, we learn to appreciate what we have, and to tolerate those little things that used to upset us.

Categories
NLP

NLP Certificates

Talking about feedback, I have just been informed by the couriers that the Certificates from the Society of NLP, signed by Richard bandler, have just been delivered to the offices of NLPGrup.

As I will not be in Istanbul yet, for those who wish to collect their certificates, please contact or visit NLPGrup offices near Taxim Square.

Congratulations to you all.

Categories
Hypnosis NLP

More on noticing Feedback – continued

There was I, a BSAC and PADI Master Diver, a qualified Rescue Diver, a scuba diver of renowned (see pictures, click), on the surface, not feeling too good.

The diving instructor swam to me and asked what was the problem, and I said that my balance was not right, it felt as if the world was turning upside down. He took may mask of and said that there was a small amount of blood coming from my nose, and that I would abandon the dive.

Fair enough, but then he started to pull me back to the shore, me a Master Diver being rescued. The humiliation.

Once on land I told the diving instructor to continue Asu’s certification dive. Apart from being a little light headed, and my ears blocked, I could net hear much, plus a silly billy (somebody regarded as silly or foolish), I was fine.

Through out the remaining course, some four days, my ears were blocked, I could not hear well. Must be water in there. It did not worry me, but as the days passed I knew I would have two fights to catch, especially to the UK. To have blocked ears on an aircraft is very painful. Sure enough, they remained blocked, and I suffered on my way back to the UK from Turkey.

The blocked ears had gone on too long, so I took myself to the doctors, just to make sure I had not damaged my eardrums. I should not have made that dive, not clearing my ears was a signal not to.

The doctor found nothing wrong with my ears, but asked the background as to why I had problems, and started asking more questions. She took my blood pressure, it was high, asked me what other pains I had, I said a slight pain in the neck (no comments please), some sweating when exercising.

That was enough, she sent me to the hospital for heart and chest tests. They conducted tests on the heart, but said they found nothing, but the Nurse Practitioner was not happy, she wanted more tests.

I was sent to another hospital, this time for a Thallium test. This is a nuclear scanning test or myocardial perfusion imaging test. It shows how well blood flows to the heart muscle. I was now radio active.

Ha Ha. They found a problem.

I was sent to another hospital, this time to have a look directly into the heart. Although a little worried about the procedure,  prepared myself with knowledge of what they would do.

A catheter or tube is inserted into an artery in the groin, and is feed up into the heart itself. Apart from the small cut which is like a scratch, as the groin has a local anesthetic, there is no feeling at all as the catheter reaches the heart.

I am fully awake, laying there watching the TV screens showing x ray pictures of my heart, as the doctors worked away, passing a drug into the heart so they could observe the flow in and out of the heart chambers and blood vessels.

For me, I was totally relaxed. I used my NLP skills, my hypnosis skills to totally relax myself. One of the nurses would keep asking me was I OK, I am sure it was because I was so relaxed.

The procedure was over and done with very quickly, and I was back on the ward, resting and recovering. The procedure required drugs which made the blood very thin, so the wound where the catheter was inserted took a time to seal and heal, and I had to lay there for some hours.

Then the news came. I had a blockage, a narrowing in an artery with the heart, and it had to be seen to, corrected.

Two weeks later I was back for a coronary angioplasty. This involves a catheter inserted in the groin again and sent to the heart. On the end of the catheter is a small wire mesh tube called a stent. Once placed in the narrowed artery, the stent is widened or blown-up, and the catheter removed, leaving the stent in place, allowing free flow of the blood.

Again, I used all my NLP and hypnosis skills to totally relax, feeling absolutely nothing, only the wound in my groin. To think not many years previously I would have required open heart surgery, with all the complications involved with anesthetics and entering the body.

Now? I was only in hospital a few hours, back home to rest, (and feel sorry for myself).

From now on I will have to look after myself, loose weight, lower my colesteral, take less salt, eat less fat, eat more fruit, and exercise, things I have not been good at. 

Also I have to take tablets every day for the rest of my long life, Asprin – 75 mg, Clopidogrel – 75mg, Atenolol -25 mg, Bendroflumethiazide 2.5mg, and Simvastatin – 20mg to lower the colesteral. These lower the thickness of the blood, so if I cut myself, I bleed for a long time, or if I bruise, I have a big dark purple patch, which takes days to go.

It is a small price to pay for living.

I am ever grateful for that doctor who listen to what I said, to my feedback and sent me for tests, to the Nurse Practitioner who looked at the initial results of tests, and did not take them at face value, and used the feedback I gave and her experience to do more investigation, to get more feedback which proved crucial in my diagnosis. I will be eternally grateful for all the people who have stood by me since and helped me.    

 

Categories
NLP Travels

More on noticing Feedback

Yesterday I wrote about feedback. We have to know what to notice so that we act upon what we are being given, and it is often good to get expert advice, instead of reading between the lines, putting our own often misguided understanding onto the situations. Remember the Cat Sat on the Mat. We only believe what is true what we already know and understand.

I had been a little sporty, I enjoyed cross-country running, cycling, and scuba diving, having undertaken over 600 dives around the world. But as I grew older, my exercise regime became less, no badminton or squash, no scuba diving, and yes the inevitable happened I gained weight.

I noticed that I started to get the old aches and pains which unfortunately accompanies our age progression, saying to myself, I must exercise, get myself fit, I would do a bit for a couple of weeks, half an hour each morning, floor, stretching, push-up exercises, then relapse into the comfort of taking it easy.

I noticed a slight ache in my neck on occasions, nothing much, just enough to notice. It seemed to occur when I expended a little energy, but it was OK.

I noticed that walking in the morning up Taxim Hill in Istanbul, that  would be sweating, and on occasions I would arrive in the training room soaking wet.

Still I did nothing, just said to myself, do more exercise.

I put all my energy into delivering my courses, and one in particular was in Antalya in Southern Turkey. My translator, Asuman Yildirim hear my stories and metaphors about scuba diving, and as the hotel we were holding the course had a diving school and diving facilities, she asked if I would take her on a dive. Of cause I had to say no, as Asu had never dived before, and one has to have a diving qualification to hire the equipment and partake in a dive. Even though I am a Dive Master, I insisted she takes a Padi Diving course.

On Asu’s last qualifying session, she ask her instructor if I could accompany them, and the instructor, having had checked my qualifications, agreed as long as I could prove to him I could handle myself in the water upon entering. This I did, but had difficulty clearing or equalising the pressure in my ears.

As I had paid a lot of money to hire the scuba diving equipment, and made a promise, I decided to still accompany Asu and the diving instructor, but stay at a depth on 10 feet or 3 meters.

After ten minutes swimming along above the other two, the whole world began to spin, I was not happy, there was something not right, and I aborted the dive, and the others came up to the surface with me.

Visit my web page to see some of my diving pictures http://www.nlpnow.net/scuba.htm .

Perhaps tomorrow I will continue.

(note 9/10/07, my web sites are again down, as the ISP (www.legend.co.uk or www.thus.com) has big problems, so much so, I am moving to another service provider, sorry for any convenience). 

Categories
Hypnosis NLP Travels

Feedback, Notice the small changes

We all experiences aches and pains, and I am no different.

I had the normal childhood illnesses, chickenpox, measles, even glandular fever that kept me of work at 18 years old for many weeks, and I found it a great way to loose weight, even if I had no control over the loss.

I had asthma attacks as a child of about 7 years old, not many as my memory recalls, but enough for my school and probably the medical opinion of the day, stopped me partaking in sports. At the age of 16 years old I started having migraines, which would literally knock me out for two days, with disrupted vision, disorientation and excruciating pain.

I learned to overcome all the above illnesses, taking-up sports, defying what was to be proved wrong advice, working to rid the migraines or control them, only having the odd one or two from say the age of 21.

It was whilst I was working in Saudi Arabia, where I looked after myself well, cooking great food, mostly steaks, beef and chicken that I started getting chest pains, especially at night. I knew it was indigestion, as if I had some milk or a Renie (indigestion tablet), the pain would go, plus I tended to get acid reflux, what appeared to be stomach acid entering the throat.

I went and got all the tests and my heart was fine, my chest was fine. There was nothing wrong with me.

On a frequent business trip back to the UK, I stayed in a hotel next to Heathrow airport, ready to take the early morning flight back to Jeddah in Saudi Arabia. I had a friend staying with me, and we enjoyed a final fantastic steak meal together. That night I awoke to the familiar chest pains.

It was at that time I had the eureka enlightenment, I realised what was causing my pains.

Beef.

Yes, if I eat too much beef, I get the pains. My body does not like beef.

On returning to Saudi Arabia, I undertook my own experimentation, eating a wonderful large steak, only to experience the pains.

I started to monitor my body, looking for signals, discomforts, mood changes, and noticed my body did not like or could not tolerate peppers or capsicums, not the chili or paprika type, but the big ones. Even with the food being cooked in the peppers would make my body produce acid.

Then I wondered why I felt so light headed, so strange, my mind not functioning well at the weekends, (Thursday and Friday in Saudi Arabia), and realised I was drinking gallons or litres of instant coffee, much, much more than whilst I was at work. Again experimentation on my part, proved to me that coffee was not good for me.

I had already stopped smoking, realising the damage I was doing to myself, so I eliminated beef, peppers and coffee from my diet, even though I loved them.

If I am presented with the food, say at a dinner party, I do not make a fuss, I will consume them, and I will when in Turkey occasionally have a Turkish coffee after a meal.

I have learned to notice certain signs, look for feedback from my actions.

When working with people, I am constantly looking, listening for, noticing my feelings for feedback.

Do they understand me?

Are they going in the direction I want the to go?

Are they going in the direction they want to go?

Are they interested?

How are they processing the information internally in their own mind?

Are they visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, or gustatory (click to see Eye Accessing Cues) processing people? What is happening to them as they go on their Transderivational Search for understanding and information.

Not only do I notice the feedback I getting from others I am in communication with, but I also monitor the feedback I am giving them.

Is it appropriate feedback?

Am I letting them know I understand?

Am I showing them that I am listening to them?

By learning to recognise what feedback is happening or being given, we can make appropriate adjustments to the way we communicate with ourselves and the world.

But, we have to constantly check, if it is the appropriate feedback. More on that to follow. 

Categories
Travels

A quiet day, Sunday a day for rest

Not being in Turkey to give a training course in NLP, I have nothing to do but rest, or relax, or do nothing, which is great for a Sunday.

I woke early, listening in the early hours to BBC Radio Five Live, and their coverage of the Japanese F1 Grand Prix. I lay there listening, urging Lewis Hamilton to stay in front in his McLaren racing car. I could not stand or lie there with the excitement and tension of the race, so I got up and switched the TV on to watch it there, only to see Hamiton leaving the racing track to enter the pit lane, and fail to negotiate a small turn, ending up stuck in a gravel trap and failing to finish the race.

Hamilton is even though a young guy, and what they class as a rookie, is a very accomplished driver, having years of racing experience under his belt. As he raced around the race circuit, it was obvious there was something very wrong with his tires, it looked as if they were wearing out, loosing the rubber, even more so as his speed was reduced and he was overtaken, loosing first place. But he raced on.

Perhaps he was comfortable, confident that his tires would last just one more lap. When he decided to pit, he was not able to control the car, and he lost out, he was out of the race.

There are times when we hang onto what we are used to, the things we are comfortable with, not realising when the signs and the signals say “stop”, “make a change”.

How many of us have a medical problem, a pain here and there, yet choose to do nothing about it until it could be too late to treat the ailment?

How many of us think that “it will never happen to me”, and it usually does?

How many times do we trust people, saying they would never do anything wrong against us, yet they do?

Perhaps we should become more aware what others are telling us, of our own inner voice, our intuition, which says stop what you are doing and do something else.

Categories
Travels

Today I am somewhere else

Today I should have been starting another course in Istanbul, Turkey, but I find myself still in Kingston upon Thames, (click) my home town here in the UK. (what does the initials UK mean, click to find out).

I do not like letting people down who have booked on courses, but it is very difficult to run training courses with only two people, and would the course charges cover the running expenses. I think not. Would I earn any fee from working for ten days? I think not.

But this has given me time to devote my resources to other areas of my life. Catch up on my reading. Coach a friend as they develop a new business venture. Plan new strategies to give courses in new and existing countries. Move my web sites to a stable Internet Service Provider (ISP), one which allows my web pages to be accessed at all times, and at a good download speed.

Out of Poo Poo comes new insights and opportunities. It is up to us to take these opportunities, or just sit back and let the world pass by.

I will see the people in Turkey soon, with new ideas and strategies, perhaps a birth, a new beginning.

Categories
NLP

Oh what a Poo Poo Time

Over the last few weeks, I feel as if I have been attacked from all quarters.

Just this very second, I have received 117 emails in one block, ten minutes earlier I had emptied my email box, not one of those 117 were from someone who needs information, wanted to talk to me, or just say hello. There are emails from Nigeria offering me money, banks asking me to verify my passwords, notices from some lottery fund saying I had won millions of dollars, letters from Russian ladies offering me love and marriage, or Viagra tablets. Thank you, I need none of them.

People have made me promises, to do certain things, to pay for my work, to honour commitments, but I find that they have not even considered doing what they said they would.

I have had to contend with family arguments, where perhaps one family member has said one thing, and upset another member, and that member has told another and upset that member, and things grew out of control until no-one speaks to anyone, and tears flow, even at a very special time in ones life which should have brought the family together.  

I have seen so much malipulation between people, people feeding only certain information to others to influence the outcomes of how others understand situations. Some of these people trying to manipulate others are so young, they have just discovered the “art”, but they do not realise that their seniors of 94 years have seen it, heard it and done it, got and warn the teeshirt, but taken it off, and left it in the closet for reference.

My Internet Service Provider (ISP) where I house my many web sites (http://www.nlpnow.net) is not giving good service. Many times I try and access the web sites and I cannot, as their servers are down. How much business have I lost? How many people have tried to book onto my courses and cannot?

It is the start of the university and college year here in Kingston upon Thames, and many of the students rent apartments here in Norbiton Hall. They are fresh from the nest, free from mommy and daddy and let their hair down, not considering the fact that playing music late at night, with the thumping base penetrating the walls and floors into the early hours. Their lesson do not start until mid morning or not at all.

There are builders, redecorating the apartments after the previous students wrecked the place. They are drilling, banging, causing vast amounts of dust up and down the stair wells.

Oh for a bit of piece and quiet.

Then to cap it all, I hear that something I did or said has been commented on by one person, to another, to another, etc, and has been changed from the original context, to become something else. 

It is called Chinese Whispers. Perhaps you have played the game, I do it sometimes in my courses. You whisper a sentence into the ear of a friend, The Cat Sat on the Mat, and get that person to whisper what they heard to the next person, so on and so forth. When the exercise is done, it is surprising the resulting sentence of the last person, perhaps “the camel is wearing a sock on its’ head.”

Words play a big part in how we perceive and understand others. Perhaps one is talking to another person about a friendship, about a conversation with another, and it is said that the conversation is homely, friendly and intimate. The person listening to that conversation hears the word intimate, goes on a Transderivational Search, and comes up with an understanding that the two people are, well, you know, very friendly. This gets passed  to the next person in the chain, so on and so forth.

In conversations we delete, distort and generalise information to make sense of what we are hearing, and equally when we relay the messages on, we again we delete, distort and generalise the information that comes out of our mouth, only giving the tip of the iceberg, information from the surface level, the 7+/-2 pieces of information.

Since I started writing this entry I have had another 72 emails. Oh Poo Poo.

The only thing is to pick myself up, put a smile on my face, feel good, and start preparing for my next trip to Turkey this weekend. Great, more courses, I feel good.

Categories
NLP

The Society of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Certificates – Turkey

Last week I spend a couple of days and many happy hours getting the licenses/certificates from The Society of Neuro-Linguistic Programming for those participants in Turkey who attended the NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner courses. 

The licenses/certificates should be in Turkey next week, either for you to pick-up from the offices of NLPGrup, or I will ask them to send your certificate or license to you, signed by Richard Bandler.

Categories
Travels

Apologies

Firstly may I apologise to my readers for the lack of entries on my blog. I had not realised how many people were following.

Many events have taken place during this time, which perhaps in the coming weeks you will permit me to enlighten you with.

I am back.