Categories
NLP

Carpe Diem

I have just watched a video given by Steve Jobs for the Stanford Commencement Speech of 2005 in the USA.

In his speech for the graduation of students, he tells three stories, in my view a little inappropriate for those who had studied hard to get their qualifications, having had spent hours cramming facts and figures into their heads.
 
He tells that he had dropped out of college without gaining qualifications, only doing what subjects he wanted to do, those subjects that he had an interest in, yet he become one of the most successful and richest people in the world by applying what he had learned.

He tells how at the age of twenty he had set-up Apple computers, but at the age of thirty he was sacked (Dismissed) from his company, but then went on to set-up and create two more highly successful companies.

He tells how he discovered he had cancer, and was only given months to live, but within a few hours it was found that this cancer was a rare strain and could be treated and removed.

He had followed his dreams, those things that had inspired, motivated him, gave him great interest, those things that he loved to do in business and relationships, to become successful, but he had faced death, as he said, the one certain thing to happen to us all our lives.

From his message it seems he is saying that we should not follow others, that our life is limited, that death is just around the corner.

I think we should follow others, know their strategies, how they do things, become a success, and I believe we should take what is appropriate for us and apply them to our lives, add on to these discoveries, teaching others along the way, not for those or us to become “Little Phillip” or Steve Jobs.

I believe that we should not look at death in the face, it will happen, but we should live our lives as the FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF OUR LIVES, follow our dreams, with a smile on our face and happiness in our hearts.

Carpe Diem, the only Latin I know, enjoy the present day, live for the day.

Great speech, worth watching.

Categories
Culture

Culture. It can change.

I recently wrote about Culture. It changes (click to read), in which I talked about my views and experiences of visiting many cultures, especially after hearing such comments as “this is *?&$£: culture, and it will not change.”

There have been many instances in our world where culture has changed over night, as against the gradual change we normally experience. Both are changes made to the culture of a group, be it the world population, countries, communities or families, and often it is done with intention.

At the moment the world governments (or most off them) are meeting in the Indonesian island of Bali, attempting to change the habits or culture of the world population in waste and energy consumption, resulting in climate change. Gradually people are becoming aware of the effects of humans, industrial activity and waste is having on our climate. We are seeing extremes of weather, due scientists say on human activity. The culture of the world has to change.

Religion has played a major role in the culture of nations, the way people dress, eat and drink, their behaviours and beliefs. Each of the major religions has sub divisions within them that has developed over time into different cultures and beliefs, Buddhists for example has Taoist Buddhism and Theravada Buddhism, Judaism has Reform, Conservative and Orthodox divisions, Christianity has Roman Catholic, Anglican, Greek Orthodox, Islam has Shiites and Sunnis. Even these have sub divisions in the cultures. (I apologise if I have missed any divisions).

Fashion also plays a role in the culture of nations, often as a result of having to live and exist in the environment the people live in.

The Arabic thobe is very cooling for the hot dessert conditions and the headdress keeps the sun off the head. (see Culture. It changes entry).

wooden shoes white

The clogs of the Dutch, makes it easy in days gone bye, to work in the wet muddy fields, as the mud does not stick to the wooden shoes.

sari

It took generations for these styles of dress to be accepted and to enter into the culture of the population, but then it became the standard dress and culture. When populations moved to different countries to live, for example the Indians and Pakistani people moving to the UK, they took their style of dress, the Indian sari with them. It is their culture, along with their cultural eating and living.

It will take a few generations for this culture to change, as the first generation of immigrants stick rigidly to their cultural roots. As each subsequent generation, second and third, is exposed to the new country’s’ beliefs and culture, they are influenced by them, and integrate them into their own, and culture changes.

In some countries, it is the culture for parents, or elder family members, to arrange marriages, the joining of man and woman, to become husband and wife. As families have emigrated to other countries, their offspring, their children have integrated into the new local communities, going to school, playing with and mixing with other cultures, beliefs and religions. The children meet others, create friendships, fall in love and want to marry outside their own culture and community, which would be normal for the indigenous population. This often causes big problems, as it would be against the cultural beliefs.

Generation by generation it is becoming more acceptable to have mixed marriages in countries where cultures are mixing.

The above takes time.

There are instances were culture changes much more rapidly, and it needs a strong leader. They will change the culture of a nation overnight.

Great or infamous leaders such as Alexander the Great, Hitler, Ghandi, Lincoln, Ataturk (click to read about Ataturk), all changed their nation’s culture very quickly. Hitler changed the relatively integrated and peaceful nations of Germany and Austria into a culture of hatred during the Second World War. Whereas Ghandi used peaceful means to change India. Ataturk changed nearly overnight the culture of Turkey from the days of the Ottoman Empire to modern day Turkey.

It only takes one strong determined person, a leader, a business man/woman to change culture.

Consider a business. If the owner, the CEO, the chairman decides a new policy, to introduce new ways of practice, he will first train and change the management structure. In turn the management will train their supervisors and they will likewise train and implement the changes to the staff. Thus, the culture of the company changes. When the company’s culture changes, it changes how its’ customers use the company and its’ products and facilities.

The world population is becoming overweight, obese, as our eating habits, working and leisure activity change. We are moving away from our cultural behaviours. We need strong, determined leaders to change the culture of the world, to be more active, be fit, less wasteful, more peaceful and tolerant.

I wonder who that could be?

Categories
Culture NLP Travels

Culture. It changes.

On occasions in my training courses I am told, “this is *?&$£: culture, and it will not change”.

What is culture? I think it is beliefs, the way we are raised as children, and the influences of our parents, peers, the media, religion and the governments, but on a grand scale, that is as a country, a city, a town, a street, a family, where those beliefs and way of life are shared and lived.

I was born into a proud family, both on my father’s and mother’s side, not a rich family, but one that worked and saved hard for the future. We had high morals, respecting our elders and those less off than us. My family wanted the best they could afford, without begging, borrowing, or taking credit from banks.

Travel was a major adventure, even to go 15 miles would be planned for days. We stayed in our local community, it was the culture of our family and locality.

It was after I started college education and my computing career that I started to travel further and further from the nest, and experienced different communities, working practices and ways of living and working. My cultural behaviours and beliefs were changing.

Phillip Holt wearing thobebiggest difference in beliefs and culture happened when I went to work in the Islamic country of Saudi Arabia, where a woman had no rights, could not drive, could not be with man unless they were married or family. There were no clubs, pubs, theaters or cinemas, no entertainment. Religion was restricted to Islam and no other. Their dress was completely different than that of the British, with their headdress and white thobe. It was their culture that I had to fit into, and I did for nearly six years, although I did not wear their dress style.

My travel for work and holidays to different countries continued to the far corners of the world, China to Peru. Cultures and beliefs being completely different, country to country, and region to region within those countries. My biggest cultural exposure was marrying Mee Len, a Chinese Malaysian.

The more I travel the more I see cultures beginning to change and to merge, where beliefs are beginning to become similar, but not the same.

Simple things like food. Every country or region has its’ specialties. But food is food, it is the way we prepare it, cook it, the ingredients combined to make it, the presentation and the way we eat it. Lamb is lamb, chicken is chicken, beef is beef and rice is rice.

The emergence of outlets such as Starbucks, Gloria Jeans, MacDonnell’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Pizza Hut, kebabs, Indian and Chinese restaurants, in virtually every town in the world is changing the way we eat, for good or bad. These food outlets would not exist if the local people did not want them or eat in them.

The culture of preparing and eating at home, going for convenience food, is changing the culture of communities.

Television, radio, newsprint and the internet is introducing culture and beliefs of one community to another, and the young of the community want what they see, they want the food, they want the fashion.

Retail outlets like Zara, M&S, Carafour, Tesco, Walmart, sell the same products in their shops in London, Singapore, Ankara New York or Madrid, and the purchasing public buy it, changing the dress culture.

We are becoming one in the affluent and younger people, it is the older of us that hold on to the old dress, styles or culture.

The culture of travel is changing as we become more affluent, we buy more cars, we use public transport rather than walking, we tend to travel further from our homes to work, and take convenience food for lunch and snacks.

As we travel further to work and to study, the family structure changes. The family culture is breaking down. This is happening not only in 1st world counties but in 3rd world too, as people seeks work to support their family and changing life styles.

We are loosing cultural differences, and it is happening more quickly day by day. I am sorry to say nothing will stop it, culture has never been static, like language, it is always modifying to the influences of the environment, the community, and our knowledge as they change.

For those who do not like this change or loosing their culture, they can become entrenched in their beliefs of the old ways, and can become very aggressive in their views, often going to extremes to display the culture they believe in, with their dress and behaviour.

We should celebrate our cultural differences and keep them, but we should respect other peoples and communities beliefs and cultures.

We will never stop cultural change.

Click to read next blog about culture.

Categories
NLP Travels

Culture

My travels take me to many places around the world, and these places and people have many customs and beliefs. These customs and beliefs will range from behaviours, dress, food, and politics to religion. The latter two I keep away from.

My problem is that as I visit and give more trainings in these far places (click to see countries I visit), I am introduced to even more culture, and as I forget what country or region I am in, I can make big mistakes.

Simple things like hand movements, simple words, touching, looking, how I eat food, drink, or blow my nose, can cause offense. And, I do not intentionally.

OK, there are times when I intentionally shock my participants with what I do. It is done for a purpose, but that is another matter.

Simple things like blowing my nose. In Turkey it should never be done whilst eating at the dining table. The trouble is I did not know this until recent times. How often have I eaten a spicy meal, hot chillies, that make my nose run, it is not that I have a cold, but my nose really runs, and how often have I blown my nose? I cannot have it dripping can I?

Sorry people who have taken me for a meal and I did wrong.

In China or Malaysia, South East Asia, they eat noodles, which can be called spaghetti in Italy and the rest of the world, as far as I am concerned they are one of the same. In China, they scoop the noodles into the mouth, and the excess is bitten off and is allowed to fall to back onto the plate. In Italy it should all be placed into the mouth whole, none should be dropped back onto the plate.

Sorry Donatella, when I ate like a Chinaman at your friend’s restaurant in upmarket Rome.

In some countries it is rude to show the souls of the feet, that is one reason when people sit on the floor they place their feet beneath them like in a yoga position. My knees do not bend that way or that much. I have tried, but it seems I am not built to do that.

Sorry, I suppose I should have some replacement knees.

The classic sign to indicate to stop is to place the flat of the hand towards the person you wish to stop. Most police forces use it to stop traffic. But then it can be a rude sign to some cultures. Another sign to say stop is to run an outstretched hand across the neck, to cut or finish. In Italy this is a bad sign used by the Mafia.

Sorry people in Italy.

I Muslim counties, cultures or beliefs, it is sometimes not done for a man to touch or shake a womans hand, one of the most natural ways of meeting someone, thus we have the NLP Handshake Interrupt exercise. (click to see).

In some cultures, it is not the done thing to show any form of affection or gratitude, for example the kissing of cheeks we see in Mainland Europe or the Middle East. It is certainly not done by the British, but I have gotten used to it.

Sorry those of you in the Chinese community, especially the family in Malaysia and Bing, my brother-in-law.

Perhaps the answer could be that we all wear a big sign around our necks, which states and says what is acceptable to us and what is not. It would then be easy for me not to cause offense to others by my words and action, and for others not to upset me, like jumping the queue. (click to read).

But then, people who have been on my courses can cope with culture differences, they may not like the differences, but now they can accept them and smile.

To the rest of you. Sorry in advance.

Can you let me know of differences in culture and beliefs you know of, by posting a comment below so I can be prepared?

Categories
Travels

A day of being in the fog and queuing.

Continuing from my entry A fog bound Gaziantep, Turkey earlier today, at 19:00 hours I am still traveling.

I arrived at Gaziantep airport this morning at 9:30am and waited for two hours in the airport departures, hearing various announcements, all in Turkish, well it is Turkey what should I expected , and race around trying to get translations, only to find out at 1pm that all flights had been canceled because of the fog or mist.

What do I do now?

Keep calm, put a smile on my face and happiness in my heart, and place my attention at Hara, Fred, Antonio, Mustapha, Siri Parla, be strong, because I knew there would be a scrum, a fight to get to the re ticketing desk, and sure enough, there was.

The British are famous for a number of things, not being able to speak another language other than English, fish and chips, and queuing.

If there are more than two people standing behind each other, the British will join the queue, they may not know what they are waiting for, but they join the queue.

Now, if anyone jumps the queue, gets out of line, pushes in, they will be in trouble. The best place to see this in action is on the “Drain”, London’s Bank underground line. It has only two stations, Waterloo and The Bank. It is very civilised, every one lines up correctly, and there is no pushing or shoving.

But that is London, in other countries there is no queuing system, first come first served, get in there first.

The trouble is I am British. I can be first in the queue and before I know it I am last, somehow, I do not know how, in an airport, the whole flight is in front of me, I can be first off the plane, get to passport control, but still be last threw.

And so it proved to be today, even though I did my best to stay in front, I was one of the last to be sorted out. The only thing for me to do was to get a flight from Adana, and Turkish Airways would not get me there, I would have to make my own way, or catch the next days flight.

The harassed Turkish Airlines check in clerk, did her best, but would not answer my questions as to how I was going to get to Adana, but she said I had a 19:00 hr flight. OK, smile, keep strong, I found a coach going to Adana airport, a three hour journey, and I thought for free. No way, once I was captured on the coach, on its’ journey, I had to pay 15 Turkish Lira. No problem, it will not break the bank.

With nothing to do, I looked at the re routing documents, written in Turkish, Oh Poo Poo, my flight is due to take off at 22:15 hrs, that means a 23:30 hours arrival In Istanbul’s Ataturk airport, then, a trip into the center of Istanbul to my hotel.

What a long day. I could be eating a great meal in Istanbul with friends.

I think I need a holiday. Who say travel is glamorous?

Perhaps Turkish Airlines should compensate me? I doubt it, not even a drink was offered, great customer service, good job I have access to the CIP lounge to write this blog.

Categories
Travels

A fog bound Gaziantep, Turkey

I have two hours to wait in a fog bound airport in Gaziantep in the South of Turkey, or that is what they say. All announcements are made in Turkish and I have no idea what they are saying. That is the problem of not speaking any languages other than English.

It has been an enjoyable time here working with many people here in this beautiful city, I have learned much more about the Turkish culture and eating habits, which I will add in later blogs perhaps.

It has been a hard six day training time, working long hours often 12 hours a day, with 3 courses, but the participants have made it worth while. Some have been a challenge to help go through a new learning process, new ideas, and a style which is unique to me in delivery of training.

Last night we finished a business coaching course organised by Gap Consultancy for Superfilm, part of the Sanko Holding group of companies. Working with so many , personalities, beliefs and behaviours kept me on my toes, but with the help of Mehpare who translated for me, I am sure we achieved a great outcome.

Thank you Superfilm and Sanko for allowing me to be with you, I look forward being back in January 2008 for more courses.  

                                                       
Categories
NLP

NLP Diploma Gaziantep, Turkey

Today we finished a two day NLP Diploma course in Gaziantep in Southern Turkey.

A lovely group of participants joined together to enter the world of knowledge and NLP.

                                                
Categories
Travels

A day of travel

Today I am traveling to Gaziantep, but being that construction work is being undertaken at night at the airport of Gaziantep I am having to fly to Adana, some two hours drive from the Gaziantep. I could have caught an earlier flight, especially as I have been sitting in the airport in Istanbul for about four hours.

It has been good just to relax, as I am still suffering from my head cold, streaming nose and light head. As a frequent flyer with Turkish Airlines, I can use their exec’ lounge, which means free food and drink.

So here I sit watching all the “important” business men in their suits, strutting around like peacocks, “oh look at me”.

Me? I can catch up on my emails, if they would only work, Norton 360 security system is a load of rubbish, it does not always allow me access to the internet, reload and sometimes it allows me in, but today in the airport nothing, so I type this blog being venerable to others hacking into my computer. But I must do something to keep me sane.

I have heard so many stories about me today, people shifting blame onto my shoulders for others not doing their jobs, people hearing information from others and putting their cat on the mat, their interpretation on what they heard, and getting it wrong. So much more, that it is not worth bothering about. I have work to do.

Ah, my flight is called. A change of environment will do me good.

Categories
NLP Recommendation

Recommendations in Turkish

From the NLP Practitioner course held in Istanbul, Turkey in December 2007, with myself and NLP-Time, we had three recommendations which you can view here.


Istanbul, Türkiye’de Aralık 2007’de NLP-Time ile birlikte düzenlediğimiz NLP Practitioner kursu katılımcılarından üç katılımcının kurs hakkındaki görüşlerini izleyebilirsiniz.
Categories
Hypnosis NLP

The NLP Handshake Interrupt

In NLP (click to see courses) we look at the Handshake Interrupt or Pattern Interrupt.

Actions or processes we do on a regular or in fact irregular basis, will follow a pattern, a sequence, which will be automatically followed, without us on a consciously being aware of what is happening.

Take shaking someones hand. As a person walks up to another, they will often offer up their hand to shake the other persons hand, and that person will automatically raise their hand to grasp and shake the hand. It is automatic.

If one of the people fails to return the handshake grasp, the one receiving the hand will fell very uneasy, they will not know what to do. If at this time, that person is offered an easy achievable task or action, that is not against their beliefs, culture of religion, they will most likely follow that suggestion.

In the video, we can see participants in trance after being offered by Phillip Holt to shake their hands. This offer was withdrawn just before the grasping of the hands, and the participants hand raised into the air and suggestions made that it will hang there as they go into a deep trance.