I held a recent course in Istanbul on coaching, and one of the subjects or components of the course was the communication between the coach and the person being coached.
Coaching course February 2008, Istanbul, Turkey.
Great teachers and philosophers of time were Socrates and his student and followers Plato and his student Aristotle, all knew the best way of teaching students, was to draw-out of them the knowledge, to understand that the knowledge is already there, the knowledge has to be accessed by the student or learner themselves.
Socrates devoted his life to talking to people of knowledge or claiming knowledge, then helping them to understand their ignorance as he understood his own, thus be able to increase their knowledge.
And thus it is with coaching someone. It is the function of a coach to guide, yes, but allow the coached person to find a solution themselves, which is believed is already available within, or that the person has the capabilities and resources to find the solution.
If a person has found a solution on their own accord, and they have committed to undertake that solution, they will be more likely to undertake and fulfill that solution, as against being told what to do.
To help the person being coached, we use chunking and the NLP Meta Model, to access the knowledge below the surface or within the deep structure of the mind or subconscious.
It is imperative that the coach keeps their understanding of the solution to themselves, to keep their cat off the mat, to understand that the map is not the territory.
The best way to keep the coaches way of understanding and thinking from that of the coached person, is for the coach to say nothing, but with style, and to give feedback as required that the coached person is learning and finding to right solution for them.
A great course. see web site www.c4coaching.com
After a long run of courses, I find myself on a rest period. Nothing to do, but too much to do, and no time to do it in.
I know that there are lots of work I must catch-up on, as I have been away from the UK, plus my computer and the internet for too long.
My brain is still in training mode, and today I am finding it difficult to switch to relaxing or office work mode.
Perhaps writing a few journals can help me, considering the work I have undertaken and the prospects of the work coming up. I have so much in my head.
Cup of tea first I think, with a drop of milk. Sorry folks I am English. Tea with milk.
Trying to eat in a healthy fashion, I try to eat fruit, especially when I am away living in hotels, where the food available is often rich and too much.
I came across this fruit called Medlar in English or Musmula in Turkish.
the Medlar or Musmula fruit
It is also called the fork and spoon fruit. If one of the stones or seed is split into two parts, an image or imprint of a fork and spoon can be seen in the interior of the stone.
the Fork and Spoon fruitThe Medlar or Musmula is native to the Eastern part of Turkey, and eastern Mediterranean, West Iran and the Caucasus.
The Medlar, Musmula tree, grows to between 3 and 6 meters high, with the leaves are long and pointed and having heavy foliage which turns a beautiful reddish-brown in autumn. In May it is said to be a mass of white flowers.
The fruit is like a crab apple and is greenish-yellow when unripe, but cannot be eaten until it has softened, and this is achieved by frost or when it is overripe or begins to decay. This process is known as bletted.
the bletted fruit is served in a small quarter, and is really soft, even the outer skin.
Medlar served
Today I had a few minutes to wait and I was looking down onto a busy intersection, traffic coming from all directions, merging together around a traffic island. Buses, cars, lorries, motorbikes plus people trying to get to their destinations, homes, workplaces, shops.
Among the people walking down the footpaths I noticed a small white dog, doing its’ own thing, sniffing here sniffing there, leaving its’ mark, criss-crossing from tree to tree, lamp post to lamp post, oblivious to all that was going on around it, as the people were to it.
Then the dog had to get across that busy intersection. There were no traffic lights, no police controlling the flow of traffic, the vehicles just pushing their way across from one side to the other. Walkers dashed between the cars.
How was this dog, so small going to cross?
It went to the curb edge, and waited. It knew that this was dangerous for it as cars sped past.
It look up and around it, and it waited until there was a crowd of people waiting to cross, and it blended in with the crowd, in the middle, and as the crowd forced their way across that intersection, it stayed in the center, protected on all sides.
Once across the other side the dog became the individual it was, doing its’ own thing, safely.
Although not a good picture, the dog ( by the tree) can be seen making what would be his daily journey across the busy intersection.
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
Firstly a gander is a male whilst a goose is a female.
goose or gander
This saying means what ever one does then it is alright or permissible for another person to do.
It is often used when one person does an action, something wrong against another person, then if the wronged person retaliates, does the same back then the saying “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander” will be used.
For example. If one person makes a promise to do something, say pay for a service of work carried out, and the do not fulfill that promise or payment, then the person who has been wronged will withdraw their labour or not undertake their part of a bargain, “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander“.
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Where does time go.
I woke up just before my alarm clock was due to go off at 7:30am and I checked the time on my wristwatch, but that said 3:15am, and confusion reigned, I could not believe it, as my watch never tells the wrong time.
The only answer was that the battery had run out, yet the watch was less than one year one, well one year in my ownership, how long it had lain in the shop I purchased it from is another story.
A friend said they would get the battery replaced, but that meant I have been without a wristwatch.
I did not know how many times a day I refer to my watch during a day, I was completely lost without it, and I was not in a position to use another watch from my collection.
The only solution would have to be to use a mobile phone I have which shows the time.
Then I got to think why don’t the manufacturers combine a wristwatch and mobile phone together.
The technology is there, chips are small enough to fit a phone and watch in the same small package, the answer to a battery, would be to house the battery in the wrist band, and we already have little blue tooth earpieces, proving that the speaker and mike can be close together.
Come on Samsung, Nokia or Casio, this device would truly be hands free.
Phillip’s watchphone
Now I have lost my mobile phone, See Blog.
When I was a small boy, living with my mother and father in the English town of Chasetown, we would sit at the dining table for the long gone traditional family meal.
The best part of the meal for me would be the pudding, sweat or dessert, and I would ask my mother, “what’s for pudding Mom?” and she would inevitably reply “Wait and See”.
All sorts of images, pictures of exotic puddings would be conjured up in my mind, I had no idea what it could be. It was not apple pie, Bakewell tart, rhubarb and custard, I knew those. But “Wait and See”?
Today, is a day of rest. I have done my Income, Self Assessment, Tax, reasonably caught-up with my emails and post, I have nothing to do. I had a quiet breakfast, looking out into a clear blue sky, which at this time of the year means a cold crispy day.
What is going to happen today, what am I going to do?
My mind went back, reliving those days sitting at the dinning table, eagerly awaiting the pudding. Was it going to be a pudding that the lady two doors away, Mrs Grice, was promising to cook for my friend Brian Bradbury and myself, Spotted Dick? I had visions in my head of a pudding shaped like a Dalmatian dog, white with black spots on it, and what it tasted of I had no idea.
Again and again I would ask, “what’s for pudding” and I would get the same reply “Wait and See”, or another saying, “All good things come to those that wait“.
Strange how we put our vivid hallucinations onto what people tell us. My mothers “Wait and See” created a pudding in my mind, so I conjured up a make believe exotic pudding to fit the context of the conversation, as Mrs Grice’s Spotted Dick painted another picture.
When the puddings came, they were nothing more than I had eaten before, the apple tarts, etc. What I had created in my head for “Wait and See”, was not a new pudding, but just wait a while, you will see what will be served to you. The Spotted Dick was nothing more than a traditional British suet pastry, rolled into a sausage shape, representing a dog, with dried fruits, mostly being currents, making the spots, served with custard.
Spotted Dick pudding
Today I will “Wait and See” what happens, because as I have waited over the years, I have had the exotic puddings, the baklava from the Turkish cuisine, the Ice Kacang from South East Asia and China.
The good things will come if you can just wait.
RETURN to NEW BASIL DINER article click here
You cannot change a leopards spots, is a British saying, (click to understand what is meant by English, British and UK), used to describe someone who will not change.
It is usually used when some one is doing something wrong, unethical, unreasonable, to others or their surroundings.
A leopard has a coat of fur which has many spots, and these spots never change throughout its’ life.
Therefore, when this saying is used towards another person who is doing something we do not like or is wrong, it means that they will not stop doing it, will continue doing it now and in future events.
When someone is saying or doing something, an observer may say a leopard never changes his spots, this is enough for a listener to understand who the saying is directed towards.
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What goes around comes around
I mentioned in my blog “Under Stress” (click) a number of sayings we have in the UK which will describe something. somebody or situation or state, and I had a couple of people contact me to explain their meaning.
Over the next few days, I will give some of the sayings we have here in the UK, and explain them, so those of you who will come on my courses in your country will have an understanding of what I am or have been talking about.
Click on the English Sayings in the left hand column of Category Archives to see a full list.
If you have sayings or need to understand one, please let me know.
What goes around comes around.
This is a saying that people will use when someone does something wrong intentionally, and says that what that person has done or doing, will happen to them also in the future.
We sometimes add on the saying, ten fold. This means that it will be ten times worse than that, that they are doing now.
There will be variations of this saying.
See more English sayings.
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Under Stress
Over the last few days I have been rather stressed. Why? too much to do and it is taxing.
There are a number of people who want my time, now, not tomorrow, but now.
Then there is the British Inland Revenue, the Tax people who require that non PAYE (Pay As You Earn) tax payers have to submit their self assessment tax returns by the 31st January, else face a fine of £100 and interest to pay on any unpaid tax.
I usually leave my return, working out my income and expenditure, calculating profit and loss, until the very last day, and at 2300 hours, submit by the web my return.
This I needed to complete my self assessment forms early, I did not want to leave it to the last moment. I did it today. But I still went under stress as if it was the last day.
I am curious about how many other British self assessment workers go under the same stress. Is it worth it?
If I had a say in the running of a country’s income strategy, I think I would abolish income tax, and put the tax on purchases. Instead of the British VAT (Value Added Tax) of 17% on purchases, put it up to 25%. Then those that spend pay the tax, encouraging people to save.
The best advantage would be I would not have to fill in the tax return and get under stress this time every year.