Category Archives: Coaching

Coaching, saying nothing with style.

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I held a recent course in Istanbul on coaching, and one of the subjects or components of the course was the communication between the coach and the person being coached.

                                                   Coaching course February 2008, Istanbul, Turkey 
                                                                    Coaching course February 2008, Istanbul, Turkey.

Great teachers and philosophers of time were Socrates and his student and followers Plato and his student Aristotle, all knew the best way of teaching students, was to draw-out of them the knowledge, to understand that the knowledge is already there, the knowledge has to be accessed by the student or learner themselves.

Socrates devoted his life to talking to people of knowledge or claiming knowledge, then helping them to understand their ignorance as he understood his own, thus be able to increase their knowledge.

And thus it is with coaching someone. It is the function of a coach to guide, yes, but allow the coached person to find a solution themselves, which is believed is already available within, or that the person has the capabilities and resources to find the solution.

If a person has found a solution on their own accord, and they have committed to undertake that solution, they will be more likely to undertake and fulfill that solution, as against being told what to do.

To help the person being coached, we use chunking and the NLP Meta Model, to access the knowledge below the surface or within the deep structure of the mind or subconscious.

It is imperative that the coach keeps their understanding of the solution to themselves, to keep their cat off the mat, to understand that the map is not the territory.

The best way to keep the coaches way of understanding and thinking from that of the coached person, is for the coach to say nothing, but with style, and to give feedback as required that the coached person is learning and finding to right solution for them.

A great course. see web site

A rest day

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After a long run of courses, I find myself on a rest period. Nothing to do, but too much to do, and no time to do it in.

I know that there are lots of work I must catch-up on, as I have been away from the UK, plus my computer and the internet for too long.

My brain is still in training mode, and today I am finding it difficult to switch to relaxing or office work mode.

Perhaps writing a few journals can help me, considering the work I have undertaken and the prospects of the work coming up. I have so much in my head.

Cup of tea first I think, with a drop of milk. Sorry folks I am English. Tea with milk.

                                                            cup of tea and milk

New Dates, New Trainings, New Beginnings

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Today has been a sorting out day, my paperwork, my filing, my future courses, my car.

In the UK, we have to MOT our cars every year. MOT stands for Ministry Of Transport, and is a test of the road worthiness of a car over a certain age, and when complete, a test certificate is issued, allowing you to tax the car, thus being able to use the car on the UK highways.

Everything is computerised. The car has an identification, so the garage, conducting the tests of the lights, body, tires, brakes and emissions, etc, enters the details onto the Department of Transports computers.

I can then go on-line on my computer to the vehicle licensing computer of the DVLA (Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency), enter a reference number, that computer checks that the car has the above MOT, and that the car has valid insurance, and before you can blink an eye, my credit card is £230.00 more into debt.

To pay for all this, the test, the license fee and tax, I need to work, and it is with regret that I have to part company with NLPGrup in Turkey as they have not been paying me for my work, although they have been paid by participants and companies.

So today I have been talking to more companies in Turkey and Bahrain for courses in the coming months.

Two companies in Turkey will be representing me, NLP-Time, and Gap Consultancy in the south of Turkey. Visit their web sites by clicking on their names for dates and courses.

In Bahrain I am talking to and will be working with Dr Leila Edwards of The MakeOver Experience, visit their site for more information and dates.

I will look forward working with these for me new companies, to meeting old and new participants and companies.

Like in Richmond Park, the trees have down times, when they have difficulties, the environment is not good, but that down time will be replaced by good times and new good growth, arising from the ashes will come the Phoenix.

Here I come.


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At the moment I am coaching some people to dream and to fulfill these dreams.

It is a dream on my part to help people to achieve excellence, over and above their dreams.

And, I just got a message from them that said they are attending a convention in the USA, where the meeting was named, “Dream, Then Do“.

Perhaps that is what we should all do, dream, and live the dream.

There is a film and a book out on the market, which is a number one best seller, much in the vain of “What the Bleep Do We Know” (see previous blog click),  in many countries of the world, having been translated into lots of languages. This film is called The Secret. (see and buy below).

How do people achieve so many great things?

How do they become rich, and rich in all senses of the meaning, not just money?

How do they achieve satisfaction and happiness?

They ask for their desires.

They ask their higher self, the ultimate, and it is theirs. You only have to ask.

But then, there is no free ride. You have to do. You have to live your life as if you have already achieve your desire.

If you have a dream, ask for if, live it. It will be yours. Any hesitation, then it will be lost.

         Dream the dreams of dreams, and they will be fully incorporated into every single muscle, every single cell, every single neuron.

NLP Now – The META MODEL – Unspecified Predicates

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The Meta Model looks at the language patterns we make, which are made at the surface level (click to read) to recover the deleted information.

A statement that is missing the descriptive Predicates, (click to read), of an action or thing.


“It is raining.”


“How hard is it raining?”


“She hit me.”


“How hard did she hit you?”

Back to Meta Model diagram (click)

NLP Now – The META MODEL – Lack of Referential Index

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The Meta Model looks at the language patterns we make, which are made at the surface level (click to read) to recover the deleted information.

Lack of Referential Index occurs in a statement when the person doing the act is delete or not mentioned, or by using a group name rather than referring to a specific person.

Common words used in statements which have a Lack of Referential Index are:-

            “a person, they, we, people, someone.”

A statement can be made:-

            “People love chocolate cakes.”

This can be challenged by:-

            “Which people in particular like chocolate?”
            “Who specifically likes chocolate cake?”


            “French people love to eat frogs legs.”


            “Which French people eat frogs legs?”
            “Who in particular loves frogs legs?”

Back to Meta Model diagram (click)