Author Archives: nlpnow

Browned Off

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In the English language we have many sayings, some of which have a similar saying in other cultures and languages.

Browned Off” has a meaning that one has had enough of a situation, the situation has gone on too long, that one is “fed up“.

Perhaps you have been talking to someone and they continually tell you the same story time and time again, they will not shut up, you become fed-up of hearing the same thing, you become bored, upset, you switch off.

Perhaps you ask someone to do something, and no matter how much they promise to do that thing, to pay an invoice, get or make a drink, organise or produce something, they fail to honour that promise, but you keep asking, asking, negotiating, and they fail to deliver, saying “next week”, “soon” etc.

You get fed-up or “Browned Off” of asking, and you stop asking. 

Perhaps you retaliate by not asking them to do anything again, you stop even working, and they wonder why.

This morning I had that experience.

I woke up on a bright Sunday morning, on the last day of a course I am giving in Istanbul.

The previous night I had learned that the clocks were to go back one hour, so that meant I could have an extra hours sleep, which I badly needed.  Trouble was the staff in the company that currently organises my training in Turkey, did not learn of this extra hour, and thus opened the offices at eight (8am). Pity they have no understanding what is happening in the world around, their environment.

I love a shower first thing in the morning. It washes away the body smells, the sweat that we generate during sleep.

As I stand in the shower, with the water flowing down my body, I practice Hara, Mustapha, Antonio, Fred, re-enforcing my power, like a rock, a statue, an oak tree.

Standing there, I also imagine all the Poo Poo that has happened to me the previous day, my bad thoughts and feelings. I give them a colour, black, orange, yellow, whatever, and I imagine these feelings, thoughts being washed away with the shower water, seeing the colour, the feelings washing away, down the body, and as the water swirls down the plug or drain hole, I let those thoughts, feelings, all the Poo Poo vanish.

I looked at the water as it began to run from the tape, and it had a light brown tinge to it, which is nothing if there has been some maintenance work, just run the water for a while.

The more I looked at the water coming from the tape in the bath, the browner it got. It went from a light brown , darker and darker, until it was the colour of mud, and this had been after five minutes. I had turned the tap on with full flow, too much for the water to drain out off the plug, so the bath began to fill up, and I noticed brown deposits beginning to build up.

Five minutes later it was still coming out of the tap dark brown, so for ten minutes I stood there waiting for my shower. It paid off, because the brown liquid started to clear, to get lighter, until it became clear like crystal.

Now I could have my refreshing shower, to clear away the Poo Poo that had built-up. I thought as I got into the shower, what a horrid experience the brown water had been, but at least the rest of the hotel guests will not have to experience it, as I had cured the problem.

I stood there cleansing myself, and looked down into the bath, and noticed a brown ring running around were the water had been.

Poo Poo happens, and it will leave it’s mark on our life experiences, our memories. But we can deal with it. I am ready for a great day for the participants. 

I feel better.

Now I wait for a new day to run, just like the marathon starting here on Sunday, in the empty streets of Istanbul.

More on noticing Feedback – continued

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There was I, a BSAC and PADI Master Diver, a qualified Rescue Diver, a scuba diver of renowned (see pictures, click), on the surface, not feeling too good.

The diving instructor swam to me and asked what was the problem, and I said that my balance was not right, it felt as if the world was turning upside down. He took may mask of and said that there was a small amount of blood coming from my nose, and that I would abandon the dive.

Fair enough, but then he started to pull me back to the shore, me a Master Diver being rescued. The humiliation.

Once on land I told the diving instructor to continue Asu’s certification dive. Apart from being a little light headed, and my ears blocked, I could net hear much, plus a silly billy (somebody regarded as silly or foolish), I was fine.

Through out the remaining course, some four days, my ears were blocked, I could not hear well. Must be water in there. It did not worry me, but as the days passed I knew I would have two fights to catch, especially to the UK. To have blocked ears on an aircraft is very painful. Sure enough, they remained blocked, and I suffered on my way back to the UK from Turkey.

The blocked ears had gone on too long, so I took myself to the doctors, just to make sure I had not damaged my eardrums. I should not have made that dive, not clearing my ears was a signal not to.

The doctor found nothing wrong with my ears, but asked the background as to why I had problems, and started asking more questions. She took my blood pressure, it was high, asked me what other pains I had, I said a slight pain in the neck (no comments please), some sweating when exercising.

That was enough, she sent me to the hospital for heart and chest tests. They conducted tests on the heart, but said they found nothing, but the Nurse Practitioner was not happy, she wanted more tests.

I was sent to another hospital, this time for a Thallium test. This is a nuclear scanning test or myocardial perfusion imaging test. It shows how well blood flows to the heart muscle. I was now radio active.

Ha Ha. They found a problem.

I was sent to another hospital, this time to have a look directly into the heart. Although a little worried about the procedure,  prepared myself with knowledge of what they would do.

A catheter or tube is inserted into an artery in the groin, and is feed up into the heart itself. Apart from the small cut which is like a scratch, as the groin has a local anesthetic, there is no feeling at all as the catheter reaches the heart.

I am fully awake, laying there watching the TV screens showing x ray pictures of my heart, as the doctors worked away, passing a drug into the heart so they could observe the flow in and out of the heart chambers and blood vessels.

For me, I was totally relaxed. I used my NLP skills, my hypnosis skills to totally relax myself. One of the nurses would keep asking me was I OK, I am sure it was because I was so relaxed.

The procedure was over and done with very quickly, and I was back on the ward, resting and recovering. The procedure required drugs which made the blood very thin, so the wound where the catheter was inserted took a time to seal and heal, and I had to lay there for some hours.

Then the news came. I had a blockage, a narrowing in an artery with the heart, and it had to be seen to, corrected.

Two weeks later I was back for a coronary angioplasty. This involves a catheter inserted in the groin again and sent to the heart. On the end of the catheter is a small wire mesh tube called a stent. Once placed in the narrowed artery, the stent is widened or blown-up, and the catheter removed, leaving the stent in place, allowing free flow of the blood.

Again, I used all my NLP and hypnosis skills to totally relax, feeling absolutely nothing, only the wound in my groin. To think not many years previously I would have required open heart surgery, with all the complications involved with anesthetics and entering the body.

Now? I was only in hospital a few hours, back home to rest, (and feel sorry for myself).

From now on I will have to look after myself, loose weight, lower my colesteral, take less salt, eat less fat, eat more fruit, and exercise, things I have not been good at. 

Also I have to take tablets every day for the rest of my long life, Asprin – 75 mg, Clopidogrel – 75mg, Atenolol -25 mg, Bendroflumethiazide 2.5mg, and Simvastatin – 20mg to lower the colesteral. These lower the thickness of the blood, so if I cut myself, I bleed for a long time, or if I bruise, I have a big dark purple patch, which takes days to go.

It is a small price to pay for living.

I am ever grateful for that doctor who listen to what I said, to my feedback and sent me for tests, to the Nurse Practitioner who looked at the initial results of tests, and did not take them at face value, and used the feedback I gave and her experience to do more investigation, to get more feedback which proved crucial
 in my diagnosis. I will be eternally grateful for all the people who have stood by me since and helped me.    

 

Another weekend. More food and no hot water.

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This weekend we have been visited by our niece Pei Theng Ng, a Malaysian national, who has just finished her degree at the London School of Economics (LSE) in London. She has now decided to get her MSc at the University here in Kingston upon Thames.

                                                        Basil Diner (click to read and see menu). It is a good quality restaurant, serving fantastic food for a reasonable price. The problem is the location. Parking is I think a problem, thus diners are few. Such a pity.

                                                         Dim Sum(C4more).

                                                         /images/71606-62901/royalgarden.JPG”>

Oh Poo Poo, (click to understand) there is no hot water again, such is life, be a good uncle, do what I have to do.

NLP Now – The META MODEL – Lack of Referential Index

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LACK OF REFERENTIAL INDEX

The Meta Model looks at the language patterns we make, which are made at the surface level (click to read) to recover the deleted information.

Lack of Referential Index occurs in a statement when the person doing the act is delete or not mentioned, or by using a group name rather than referring to a specific person.

Common words used in statements which have a Lack of Referential Index are:-

            “a person, they, we, people, someone.”

A statement can be made:-

            “People love chocolate cakes.”

This can be challenged by:-

            “Which people in particular like chocolate?”
            “Who specifically likes chocolate cake?”

Statement:-

            “French people love to eat frogs legs.”

Challenge:-

            “Which French people eat frogs legs?”
            “Who in particular loves frogs legs?”

Back to Meta Model diagram (click)

NLP Now – The META MODEL – Predicates

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PREDICATES

The Meta Model looks at the language patterns we make, which are made at the surface level (click to read) to recover the deleted information.

Predicates are process words indicating how and what representational systems we are using.

When we process information we will represent or code the information internally using our senses which are known as our representational systems or rep system.

The main rep systems are Visual (V), Auditory (A), Kinsaesthetic (K), with the other minor two, Olfactory (O) and Gustatory (G). Also we have Auditory Digital or Internal Dialog, people talking to themselves.

When we communicate this stored internal information we will use process words, verbs, adverbs and adjectives to identify the rep systems we are using to process the information. These process words are know as Predicates.

By understanding what Representational Systems people are communicating in, we can gain Rapport and communicate better.

Predicates can be further recognised when used in conjunction with Eye Accessing Cues (click to view).




































VISUAL

AUDITORY

KINESTHETIC

Bright, Dim, Colour, Black and White, Focused, Far, Near, Clear, View, Look

Loud, Soft, Hear, Sounds, Sing, Tell, Tone, Faint, Harmonious, Listen, Talk

Feeling, Feel, Hot, Cold, Cool, Firm, Weight, Light, Heavy, Touch
I see what you say. I hear what you say. I get a feeling of what you are saying.
He looked after us. Clear as a bell. I have a feeling for it.
Look here do you understand me? It is music to my ears. To get to grips with.
Show me what you mean. We are on the same wavelength. He is a pain in the neck.
I understand, I get the picture. That sounds right to me. Do it one step at a time.
Everything went blank. He voiced his opinion. He seems under pressure.







































OLFACTORY

GUSTATORY

AUDITORY DIGITAL

Smell, Perfume, Odour, Fishy, Fragrant, Pungent, Smoky, Whiff

Sweet, Spicy, Juicy, Flavour, Salty, Bitter, Taste

Understand, Decide, Know, Perceive, Learn, Consider
This does not smell right to me. I am getting a flavour for this. I understand you.
It smells fishy, there is something wrong. It was a bitter pill to take. I have to decide what to do.
I get a whiff something is not correct. She seems a tasty girl. I must consider all my options.
What you said sounds fishy. What he did to me left a bitter taste in my mouth. I want to learn to do this.
She smelt good to me. It makes my mouth water. I think you are correct.
There was a pungent odour that was not right. I want a sweet meal tonight. I know I can do this.



Back to Meta Model diagram (click)

NLP Now – Meta Model – Kayıp Özne -Türkçe – Turkish

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                                                                                                                                              English version

Meta Model
yüzeysel seviyedeki veya silinerek aktarılan bilgideki kullandığımız dil kalıplarına bakar.

Kullanılan ifadelerde veya anlayışta gönderme yapılan kişi, olay ve nesne kayıptır yada bahsedilmez.


                “Bana vurdu.“


Burada vurma eylemini yapan kişi kayıptır.


NLP Pratisyeninin yapması gereken bu ifadeye karşı meydan okuyup eksik olan bilgiyi geri kazanmaktır. Vurma eylemini kim yaptı.


                “ Tam olarak kim sana vurdu”   “Kim tarafından vuruldu.“

translation by E. MINE BALIK

Different Beds

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My lifestyle, my work takes me to many countries and places. It is rare that I stay more than two weeks in the same place.

That means different beds.

That means different sleep.

That means my body clock is never the same as I travel around the world.

I learned a trick from an airline pilot I taught on a PhotoReading course to adjust my body clock to the time of my destination, say India, when my body is used to the UK time. Before getting on the aircraft at the departing airport, adjust your watch time to that of the destination airport, and start living that time. At no time try to live your home time. It works.

I also never sightsee, have a day to adjust to the new time zone, I like to arrive, and go straight into the training course, even the same day of arrival. My body, my mind has no chance to complain of time changes.

But I need sleep.

I can often work for 21 days without a break, 9am until 6pm, plus the set-up time in the morning, the computer, aids to help me teach, water, and the strip-down, packing the computer away, tidying-up, participants leave behind them a real mess, moving chairs into the correct places. That expands my day by another couple of hours.

So I am tired, I need sleep.

It is rare that I go out in the evening, as I need rest, my body and especially my brain.

A participant once said to me I am like a theatre. I am the stage manager, I am the producer, I am the writer, I am the director, I am the actor, I am the musician, I am the cleaner, I am the caterer, I am the usher. I do all the jobs.

I need my space, I need rest and sleep.

Some people may find that hard to accept, as I am very alive during my courses, very extrovert, always watching, planning, calibrating with the participants.

I get back to the hotel or place I am staying, and let go. Looking forward to something to eat, and then sleep.

I empty my mind, not dwell on the day, allow the mind to relax, and go to bed, giving my inner mind instructions to wake-up at a specific time, say 7:30am, to prepare for the next day, to give me something special to do for the next day, and to give me a good sleep.

This last one is often difficult to achieve as I sleep is so many different beds.

Beds that are hard ones, soft ones, big ones, small ones, wide ones, narrow ones, short ones, long ones, high ones, low ones, lumpy ones.

Then you get the bed clothes. Hard sheets, soft sheets, duvets, blankets, just bed covers. Pillows, some feathers, some foam, big and small, lumpy, and different heights.

It takes a lot to adjust to the beds, let alone the bedrooms, and the different sounds coming from the next rooms, snoring, banging, flushing of the toilets, running of the showers, parties, and other bedtime games. 

Tonight I pack my bags, as tommorow I move to another bed.

Oh Poo Poo. click to read.