Author Archives: nlpnow

Little pieces of beauty

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Often, when we are feeling down, when life is getting too much, all we see is the negative of what life is throwing at us.

Perhaps someone is not contacting us, and we feel alone an neglected.

Perhaps the chocolate cake has not risen enough in the oven, and has sunk in the middle.

Perhaps there is not a patch of blue sky to be seen, just cloud hanging over us.

Perhaps what we had hoped and expected to happen, has not.

The more we sit waiting for things to improve, the worse life becomes.

Oh Poo Poo.

For years, the window ledge of the front windows of the flat, overlooking the busy road which used to flood (see pictures Floods in Kingston upon Thames) so much here near Norbiton Hall, there have been plants in a various assortments of plant pots.

An Amaryllis, with it’s large bell-like flowers lasting for a couple of days, leaving for the rest of the year, long green leaves.

An Aloe Vera plant that gets more and more like a Triffid.

A strange long stemmed plant with little tufts of leaves at the top of the stem. See article on Adenium obesum var. multiflorum. Tomorrow.

And then there are the cactus plants, that are so slow in growing, even a kettle boils quicker, and they do nothing.

It is that one moment, blink and you miss it, that the cactus blooms, and yesterday it was such a moment.

A delicate yellow bloom, with petals so thin they were like rice paper, as if you could see through them. I dare not touch them.


Cactus bloom. A delicate yellow bloom, with petals so thin they were like rice paper, as if you could see through them.

How often do we miss that one moment of beauty, happiness, joy? Let them slip through our fingers, like sand on the beach.

Today the bloom has not opened, but I still have the memories that will last a lifetime, to draw me out of the depths of doom and gloom.

Use “Phillip’s Sausage” to see, hear and feel more. Please do not miss out or dismiss to good things in your life.


See next article Another bloom coming and Just like a bus

PS. If you know the name of the cactus, please drop me a comment.

My glasses are better

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After a couple of days, my eyes are getting used to the glasses I recently purchased from SpecSavers in Kingston upon Thames,

Sometimes it takes time, a long time to adjust to new ideas, new environments, new glasses. Sometimes it takes a short time to accept changes.

It could be culture. It could be beliefs (see Culture. It can change.). It could be the way we do things, strategies.

Some people say it will take 21 days for change to happen, or transformation to occur, for a new habit to take place.

I personally believe, change can take place in the blink of an eye, if the person wishes the change or transformation to take place.

The change can happen quickly if the incident of change is strong enough emotionally, or there is a willingness.

The change can take place if the person is willing to practice, to teach the whole body, the mind the muscle sets the new way of doing. In my case with the glasses, to adjust the focusing of the eyes, how to place items in front of me to see them, and how the lens of the new glasses differ from the old set.

We can all change if we are willing to let go of the past, and willing to give new ideas, concepts and ways of doing things a go.

I am now ready to see the world in a new way, refocusing, a new outlook.

Watch-out people of Verona in Italy, I will be with you this Saturday and Sunday, to train you in the NLP Master Practitioner course.

I am a hoarder

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I am a hoarder. Well that is what I am told, and it certainly feels like it at the moment as I go through my personal things, throwing out a lifetime of memories and “stuff” I have accumulated.

It is my personality, my way of living, never throw anything away that can be of use. It could be a nail, a piece of wood, a nut and bolt. I would need many hands to count the days gone by when I was a “handyman“, a “DIY” person, where the whole project would have been impossible to complete for the sake of that screw I had not thrown away, that I had kept for that “rainy day”.

How many times have I gone into the garage, and from bits and pieces, constructed something useful, something of beauty? Many times. The trouble is I have not had a garage for years.

How many times has something gone wrong, broken, and I have just the thing to repair it, taken from that old thing in the back of the cupboard.

How much money have I saved through repairing stuff by using other stuff I have saved?

They say you should not throw away old bills, invoices, bank statements, you should burn or shred them, as naughty people can steal your identity, so perhaps that is why I hoard them, I have literally taken-on their instructions.

Yesterday, as I was shredding some of my old bank statements (twenty years old, from a bank I am no longer with), the shredding machine I have been using of about a year, yes I do destroy things, broke down. I tried to see if there was anything stuck in the cutting teeth jamming the mechanics, I checked the fuse by changing it with an old fuse taken from a plug I had saved from two years ago. I check the internal electrics and connections.

Nothing.

I had to go out and get another shredder, another twenty pounds (£20) down the drain, and I threw the old shredder into the waste bin, but not the collecting bin that the old shredder fitted into. It may come in handy in the future.

The new shredder works fine, and I can continue in my sad task of getting rid of my past, my history, but I still wonder this morning, if only I had checked a little bit more on that old shredder, maybe, there was a solenoid, a hidden switch I missed, I could have repaired it.

What about those old magazines I will read when I get the time, there will be some interesting articles. Yes I know, I will never get the time, so out they go.

What about those computer discs, containing the computer software I developed for customers when I worked for the computer manufacturers NCR, Sperry Univac and Texas Instruments? Many times after I had left the employment of the manufacturer, I was asked to go back and help solve a problem or make changes. I was the only one who could do it. I needed to keep the data.

But will I ever be asked again? No chance, after forty years, how many NCR 399 or NCR 499 machines exist? How many TI DS 990 computers churn out facts and figures? How many PC computers from 1983 are still sitting working on an office desk?

None.

How many of todays computers will be able to read a CRAM card? Haw many computers will be able to read a magnetic cassette with my programming on it, or the floppy discs of various sizes? Even the small floppies cannot be read as they have been superseded by CD’s, and new computers do not even have the facilities to read them. Next? Memory sticks and cards? Each storing more and more data, as they get smaller and smaller.

Progress with recording computer magnetic media, floppy disks to memory sticks
Progress in computer magnetic media.

Out they all go. Well I have kept one or two for historic reasons. How else am I able to show you examples in the above photograph?

But what is different to me and others?

People collect old photographs, cut glass vases, books, old used postage stamps, CD’s, ornaments, cutlery, diner sets. Diner sets and cutlery which will only come out for that special day that never comes. A cut glass vase, just in case a loved one gives them some flowers. Now will that ever come?

I am no different to others, and it is difficult to throw out my special things, my history, but it must be done, I have no room to hoard more things.

See Collecting becomes Hoarding.

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The hottest day of the year?

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It has been said today on the news that it will be the hottest day of the year in the UK, and I have missed some of it.
                                                                    The Sun with a smile and sunglasses

Yes, I am back, in the UK, and I slept twelve hours, catching-up on sleep after a number of days of hard work, relaxation, fun, laughter in Turkey. The last weekend being a two day course on Stage Hypnosis. Come back soon to see picture.

Now my head is spinning through too much sleep, and I will have to get my body and mind back into shape.

I wonder if I will hear from the people who I have worked with now I have left an even hotter Turkey?

A weekend in Rome – The Journey

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I was asked by my good friend Alessio Roberti founder of NLPItaly to give part of the NLP Practitioner course to participants in Rome.

It is not the first time I have been to Rome. Over the years I have given many courses there, and seen private clients on a 1-2-1 basis.

Rome certainly has a character of its’ own, from the cobbled streets, to the history of ancient Rome, the religious aspects of the many churches, plus the Vatican.

Every building in Roma has character, unlike Milano which are built in a style from Mussolini days, very flat and square, no shape.

I had decided to leave Friday 12:15 midday, on an Alitalia flight from Heathrow, and checked in on the internet, and I checked the flight details prior to leaving home, and all was OK.

On arriving in Heathrow, Terminal 2, I approached a representative of Alitalia, only to be told the flight had not even left Rome on its’ inward journey to London. Oh Poo Poo.

Would it actually be flying or would it be canceled?”


No problem, there will be other flights, the course does not start until Saturday morning.

I went through to departures. At least I can look around the limited duty free shops. Now I know why they are there, as I am forced to buy more books to read. Thank goodness for PhotoReading.

Two and a half hours delay. Oh Poo Poo but no rush, I can relax.

An announcement is made over the public address system:-

      “All Alitalia passengers on AZ203, please go to desk number one, where you can obtain a food voucher.

Great, I can get some decent food for lunch, as all Alitalia now serve is a non descript sandwich, a small biscuit and a soft drink in a plastic cup. One good thing to come out of the delay.

The queue at desk number one is long, and I begin to talk to the fellow passengers around me.

I heard different accents. American, Australian, German, Italian, British. All had a tail to tell. All of the looked tired, sleepless, and were complaining.

The Americans had flown into London the previous day, but instead of seeing the sites, had gone to bed.

The Australians had left Australia two days previously, the flight was late leaving, flown to Hong Kong, were their connecting flight with Cathay Pacific to Rome had just left. They were re booked onto another fight with Korean Air going to London, from London they would take Alitalia to Rome. In all the confusion, their baggage had been lost.

Oh Poo Poo.

My delay was nothing.

But the queue was not moving. For half an hour we stood in the same place. Alitalia had run out of meal vouchers.

Oh Poo Poo.

Eventually, I got my voucher, and had my lunch. I was lucky, I had nothing special to do. Elena Martelli my translator for the weekend would not arrive in Rome until 8pm, when we would meet and have an evening meal together. No rush.

That’s another story.

NLP Now Fast Phobia Cure

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The NLP Fast Phobia Cure, is an extremely effective way of removing or replacing a phobia or fear by the use of the imagination and trance, although trance or hypnosis is not required.

Again as mentioned before in my articles, and I must emphasize, that it is not required that the NLP Practitioner needs to know, as with most of NLP work, what the problem is.

NLP is content free.

The set-up of the NLP Fast Phobia Cure will be as the Six Step Reframe, i.e. gain rapport and explain what will be happening.

The process involves the idea of being in a cinema, and the use of association and disassociation. (to follow in the next fewdays, then click to understand).

The client will be asked to run a film in their imagination of the first time an incident occurred, it is of no relevance that the client has any conscious knowledge of what that incident will be, allow the subconscious to do the work.

Firstly, allow the client to enter into a state of relaxation, trance or a sleep like state, and guide them into a cinema.

Once in the cinema, they should sit relaxed looking up at a big white screen.

Inside a cinema Inside a cinema, The Steuben Theatre in Hornell, NY. The Steuben Theatre in Hornell, NY


At this point ask them to imagine that they can float outside that person sitting relaxed looking up at the big white screen, and see other them sitting there. The client will now be disassociated.

The client should then go to the back of the cinema, and enter the projector room, and look through the little square widow, through which the film shown, down to the other them, sitting, looking up at the big white screen.

Again, the client is disassociated from the other them sitting down in the cinema.

Tell the client that they can run a film, in black and white, no sound, of the first time the incident happened that caused the phobia, “from the beginning before the incident occurred, when they were safe, all the way through to the end, when they were safe, and it was all over and done with.”

They are to watch the other them through the little square window, watching the film on the big white screen.

Run the film three times, from the beginning to the end.

On completion of running the film forwards, run the film backwards three times, with the client watching the other them, disassociated, “from the end when it was all over and done with, to the beginning before it started, when they were safe”.

Let them see the other them, laughing, yet relaxed watching the film running backwards.

On completion, ask the client to leave the projection room, and go back into the cinema, seeing that other them, sitting so relaxed, and ask them to float inside that other them, becoming that other them.

Ask them to leave the cinema.

It is at this point I wish to test my work, and I ask them to become a super hero, leave the cinema, and see themselves, (disassociated), doing the thing they once had a phobia about in a new positive way.
 
Once they have seen themselves achieving what they wanted, they can then associate back into the new them, becoming that new them, having had done the work.

The Fast Phobia Cure uses association and disassociation, re-patterning memory traces by running the memory backwards of the incident that caused the phobia or fear, and future pacing.

As with all my work, I like to test, and will often ask the client to experience for real, a situation where once they had a phobia or fear.

Visit www.c4phobias.com for more information and book a session.

It is sad to loose a friend

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Saadet Kimyon


It is always sad to loose a friend, but especially one with whom one has experienced the ups and downs of life and work.

I have just heard that a fellow teacher/trainer I had worked with in Turkey, both in Istanbul and Ankara has passed away.

Saadet Kimyon, was a girl who had a smile, no matter what the experience she was going through, she always worked to her full potential, offering her participants she was teaching English to, only the best.

It is Saadet I mention in my courses, who had worked in England, near Oxford, for many years, only speaking and teaching in English.

It was when she returned to Turkey with her partner to live and work, that she found that though a native Turkish speaker, her ability to speak in her own tongue, was reduced.

It was through Saadet’s experience of memory usage, and relaying this to my participants in my metaphors, that we can understand that you must “use it, or loose it“.

If we do not practice or do what is taught or what we have learned, be it NLP, Mind Maps, Memory, PhotoReading or whatever, then what we have invested in time and money will be wasted.

But, I have said that whatever you have learned in the past, that memory or learning can be accessed and used again. It may take effort.

So it was with Saadet, she soon spoke Turkish as a native.

Saadet, may you rest in peace.

The joy of flying

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When flying from A to B, I love the window seat.

Having the window seat has a number of advantages.

I can look down at the passing world below me, wondering if people know I am up above them.

I can look at the ever changing landscapes, mountains, deserts, seas, coastlines, cities and towns with their interconnecting roads, railways and rivers.

I do not get disturbed by people wanting to go to the toilet, but then that means I cannot go myself.

The biggest advantage is that I can lean my head against the bulkhead of the aircraft, and sleep.

Flying with Alitalia over the snow covered Alps  Flying with Alitalia over the snow covered Alps

End of one course means the start of another

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It is 10:30pm on Sunday evening, and I have just finished a 7 day NLP course in Acibadem, a district of Istanbul on the Asian side. I am sitting in a temporary lounge waiting for the 11:30pm flight to Gaziantep to give a 6 day NLP course plus some presentations, which starts tomorrow at 9am.

I think I will get little sleep tonight, having a scheduled arrival time of 1:00am.

Still, I can look back on a really great course. The ladies were a challenge having so many differing characters and learning styles.

NLP course Istanbul
NLP course Istanbul


It was also strange that on the course was a lady who had worked for the Saudi Arabian Airline, Saudia, back in the late 1980’s, when I was their, and knew some of the training school staff of Saudia that I knew.

Where are you Ivy and Bob Bailey who lived on the same compound as me in Jeddah?

In the NLP course, we covered so much ground, from the history of NLP, anchors, the Meta Modelhypnosis through to the Six Step Reframe and the Fast Phobia Cure.

We had laughter and tears, but all came true at the end, with sad goodbyes, and promises to see each other in the future. I look forward that.

Now, although tired, mentally and physically, needing sleep, it is too quiet.

After all these days of talking, there is no-body to talk with. I tried to contact people, but they must be out enjoying themselves with their friends.

Then I get a call from Mehpare, the sponsor and organiser in Gaziantep, checking that I am on way and OK for the start of another NLP course (click for details) 9am tomorrow.

Talking can be a great thing, even when tired.

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Did I upset you? Unwanted telephone calls.

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Am I sorry that I upset you?

No I’m not, if you were the man who telephoned me from Weatherseal, the British double glazing, replacement window company.

I am fed-up to the teeth with unwanted telephone calls, offering me free holidays, phones, loans, replacement kitchens, insurance, or “Do I mind if I answer a couple of questions?”.

If I want something, I will go on-line, go on the internet, or I will go to the shops. Thank you.

        Ring. Ring. Ring. “Can I speak to Mr Holt please?”

If I hear an Indian accent, I can feel the hairs starting to stand-up on the back of my neck. I know it is a call center in India wanting to sell me something.

        “What are you selling?” I ask.

        “Oh nothing sir. Can I ask you some questions? Do you have a mortgage?”

That is it.

        “No I do not have a mortgage, I am 95, and paid it off years ago. But I tell you what, I have some money
         to spare, would you like a loan from me, I will only charge you 4% APR, instead of your 16% , and ……….”

The phone goes silent, as my reply is not on their script. They are stumped. NLPers? Pattern interrupt.

Or I will reply :-

        “Do you give loans to bankrupt people?”

I just asked a question, there is no need for them to put the phone down on me.

But Mr Weatherseal Windows, why does your company keep interrupting my day? On your Weatherseal computer database, you can see that we have had windows installed only a few years ago, and because of that, why should I want to have them replaced again?

If I did know people in the rest of the flats here in Norbiton Hall, (click to read about), why should I recommend you, a company that keeps calling me up, intruding into my personal space.

All I said to you was :-

        “We have your windows already thank you, but I might be interested in a conservatory.”

to which you replied :-

        “We do conservatories.”

I could tell from the tone of your voice you were suddenly interested in me.

        “Yes I know, but we are on the second floor.”

There was no need to say back to me, “Ha. Ha. Very funny”, and put the phone down on me. I do want a conservatory installed, but not here.

Norbiton Hall, Kingston upon Thames from the rear.

So Mr Weatherseal Windows, you lost yourself a potential sale.

Then we get the silent calls. No-one on the other end. I end up shouting down the phone, but no-one hears me except for the neighbours and the shoppers across the road.

Yes for those of you who have similar problems, there is a service here in the UK called the Telephone Preference Service (TPS) (click to visit web page). This is an opt out service or register. It is a legal requirement that all organisations (including charities, voluntary organisations and political parties) do not make cold calls to numbers registered on the TPS unless they have your consent to do so.

But they still keep coming. Perhaps the call centers in India do not know about it, or even know where Britain is.

So Mr Weatherseal Windows and the many cold callers who interrupt my day and evenings, I am going to have fun with you. Please don’t put the telephone down, as I do know you have a job to do, and my fun may be a waste of time to you, but then, so is your call to me.

Oh yes Mr Weatherseal Windows, do you install the conservatories in Malaysia?

Still you continue, see the article – Weatherseal Windows, do you think I am stupid?