Oh Poo Poo My Mission

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Again (see previous blog click here), no matter where I go in the world, things happen. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.

Like we all do, I say words to myself with my internal voice, I talk to myself, especially when things go wrong.


We all do it. 


Sometimes I say the wrong thing to people, I use the wrong words in my courses, especially when I ask a participant, perhaps when hypnotised, to do something and and they do not respond, I say words in my inner mind that I cannot write here. 

One word I say is “SH-T“. 

I cannot say that word out loud. So I now say “Oh Poo Poo. 

My mission is to get the world to say Oh Poo Poo 

It makes you smile. 

The aggression goes out of the situation. 

The bad feelings go. 

You can deal with the situation.


Please tell the world, and send me your Oh Poo Poo experiences, either by sending an email jokes@ohpoopoo.com , or by posting in the guestbook, and help others to smile through their Oh Poo Poo’s.

Why not have a laugh, brighten up your day and others whilst you are at it, visit the jokes and Ironies page. Build more by sending your jokes to jokes@ohpoopoo.com .

Please tell the world, visit the web site http://www.ohpoopoo.com (click).

My Computer Oh Poo Poo

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Handle off mug

No matter where I go in the world, things happen. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.

Monday night after finishing the English NLP class with NLPGrup, I returned to the apartment in Taxim Tunel, and after a while at 8:30pm, I felt hungry, and decided to get my usual wrap from La Cantine. Plus I needed milk and some Cornflakes, for my breakfast.

On returning, climbing those steep stairs, I had nothing to, as others were out enjoying themselves, perhaps drinking, relaxing, maybe deciding to stay with friends overnight, leaving pets and their family to fend for themselves. I decided to watch the SlingBox TV system. (clink to find out more)

As I watched, I wanted a cup of tea, unusual me late at night, and I had one tea back left. I sat back and enjoyed a hot cup of tea, British style, with milk.

With half my cup of tea left in my hand, the handle, a metal handle collapsed, and the remaining cup fell to the table, and my computer, some of the liquid finding its’ way onto my computer keyboard.

Handle off mug

My heart beat at double the rate, I could feel it. My reaction was to say words not allowed on the internet, I had a vision of sick deer.

What do I do.

I had to keep calm, so Oh Poo Poo, came to mind.

So what could I do?

Nothing, it had happened I had to be calm to deal with the situation, my Oh Poo Poo helped me to quickly clean-up the mess, but my new computer. The keyboard was not working.

I went to bed, with my attention on Mustapha so that I would sleep, a hard day was to Tuesday, there was not point in crying over split milk, my computer keyboard was dead. I hope my insurance will cover the damage.

The next day, I cleaned more of those internal parts I could access, I do not wish to break and seals on the computer, these could invalidate the warranty or insurance policy.

I got most of the keys working, but not all.

Oh Poo Poo.

Mustafa Kemal Ataturk

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As the Turkish people are so passionate about Ataturk, I have made a little research on his history. I am sure I have not covered everything, please excuse me if I have made any mistakes, assumptions, missed anything out. Please add notes to this entry to correct my ignorance, and educate me on the history.


In 1881 Mustafa Kemal Ataturk was born. In 1893 he enters Military Secondary School at Salonika, and over the next years he progresses through various military schools ending-up in 1905 graduating from the General Staff College with the rank of Staff Captain and is posted to the Fifth Army, based in Damascus.

In 1906 he helps to found Fatherland (Vatan) Society in Damascus. There was trouble in the country a Counter-revolution in Istanbul, and in 1909 Ataturk as divisional chief of staff, marches with Union and Progress striking force on the city from Salonika.  By 1911 he has been promoted to Major, and he serves with the Ottoman Empire army against Montenegro, Serbia, Bulgaria and Greece. During this time many treaties were made, and it seemed broken, which resulted in Russia, Britain and France declaring war against the Ottoman Empire, in 1914.

Thoughout this campaign the Allies lost many battles, the Dardanelles, the Turkish Straits, Canakkale, the Gallipoli Peninsula, Bitlis and Muş, etc, and the Ottoman Empire lost battles and campaigns to, being forced out of Palestine and Syria, resulting on 30 October 1918, an Armistice being signed between Ottomans and Britain at Mudros. Ataturk had risen to the Rank of Commander.

Between then and 1923, many battles were fought, lost and won, especially against the Greeks in Izmir and Inonu, Sakarya, and many treaties where made, with Ataturk being given the title of “Gazi”and rank of Marshal by Grand National Assembly.

On the 24th July 1923, the  Treaty of Lausanne was signed in Switzerland by Turkey and the Entente powers that fought in World War I. After the conclusion of the Turkish War of Independence, this treaty recognized the Republic of Turkey as a sovereign nation.

On 9th October, Ankara becomes capital of Turkey. Then on the 29th October, the Proclamation of the Turkish Republic was made, with Ataturk as President. This resulted in the Ottoman dynasty being exiled.

Various radical changes were made, including the closing of religious schools, and organized Islam becoming regulated by the state, the abolition of religious courts, the abolition of fez, suppression of religious brotherhoods, and the closing of sacred tombs as places of worship, and the introduction of the Latin alphabet.

Ataturk died in 1938, having change a nation into Turkey as we know it today.

His picture, his statues, his images are every where.

The people still look up to him. 

I am 95

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I am 95 years old.

Yes, that is what age I am.

I love the Turkish people, they are kind, considerate, passionate about their culture, and their state founder Ataturk. I have done a little research on Ataturk which I have added to this blog as Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, please add and correct any mistakes I have made.

It seems that the Turkish people love to know each others ages.

In my courses I get people to introduce each other, and they will say:-

This is Murat, he is a teacher, and he is 45 years old.”

Why? I as a foriegner find this very strange, but that is one reason I love travelling to different culture, we are all the same, but different.

So, I am asked my age. It is not in British culture, well not mine, and, well, I do not want to look and feel my age. Deep down I feel 18 years old, OK, 21, after my heart proceedure.

Last week on the 13th of March was my birthday, and the NLPGRup staff gave me a chocolate cake, so now I am 95 years old.

Next year I will be 94,

English Sessions Day 2

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The day started off on the wrong foot. The pevious evening the door locking gear had brocken, so I was locked out until nearly midnight until a locksmith obtained entry. In the morning, the lift I had been offered the previous night, to take me from the Westen side of the Bosphorus to the Eastern side acroos the wonderful southern bridge, did not turn up. I had to race to get the ferry.

Arriving 5 minutes late, I suppose one could call the turnout of participants a normal Sunday. Two people were waiting for me. Plus the car that was to pick me up had already beaten me to the school.

We looked at how humans learn, that it was an experiment with a group of cats in Califonia, USA, that led to the discovery of the plasticity of the brain.

We understood that relaxation changes the way the brain can learn, and why sleep is important to each of us.

How can we relax? Just listen to my voice, or buy the CD “The Castle” buy it online, buy clicking here.


And listen to the words as you drift.

Not Again

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Golden Horn Bridge, Istanbul

The evening did not start well.

I walked down to the ferry terminal after a long day of training and having to cross the Bosphorus from Kadikoy to Beşitaş (Asian to European side of Istanbul), and saw the ferry at the quayside. I raced to the gate only to see it closing majestically with me on the wrong side, and I watched as the ferry glide out of the port.

Once back in Taxim Tunel, I brought a wrap from a little corner café, La Cantine, (now closed), run by a French couple, plus a freshly squeezed orange juice. I was to have a relaxing time, watching British TV on the computer internet through Slingbox.

Slingbox is a great device that plugs into the back of say a satellite or cable TV box, that is then connected to the inter net router at home. Through the inter net connection in whatever country I am in, I can access the Slingbox back home and watch British TV, not only that, I can control the channels I want to watch.

The apartment I am staying in is on the forth floor, with a spiral staircase. Now I am used to running up stairs, but these seem so steep, everyone that climbs those stairs, has to rest half way up. They are a killer.

Spiral Stairs, Tunel Flat, Istanbul

Spiral Stairs, Tunel Flat, Istanbul

I got to the door, gently holding my orange juice, my mouth watering at the prospect of eating my wrap. But the key would not turn.

Not three months earlier, I had returned back to the apartment to notice on the tough climb of the stairs, that there were pieces of metal laying by each flat door. I knew something was wrong.

On reaching my door, there was no point in trying to turn the key to open the door, there was no locking mechanism there, and the door was firmly shut and locked.

There was no-one in the whole building, I do not speak any Turkish. Oh Poo Poo. I called an ex employee who came to my aid, plus my translator Asu. We called a locksmith plus the police, only to find that yes we had been burgled. I had lost money, a camera.

Asuman Yildirim

Although I did not enjoy the experience, who would? I found the police here in Istanbul perhaps one of the most friendly I have encountered, even though we had to communicate via a translator.

The horror of that experience returned as I tried in vain to turn the key.

But I had Mustapha. I had the previous experience to draw upon. I called the same locksmith.

On his last visit he made sure that no-one would be able to break-in again. He was good, so good, that he took from 8:30 until 11:30pm to get in. That will teach him. Perfectionist. (Ho Ho). He had to used brute force.

Once in, it was realised that no-one had entered, it was the failure of the door locking gear. New door I think.

So by mid night I was in bed, knowing that 8am the next morning I would be picked up by car to get to the Eastern side to take the English language participants further along the process I do for easy learning.

8:10 am I get a phone call, asking if the car had arrived, as the person calling the General Manager of NLPGrup, Selva, could not reach the driver, his phone was off.

Only thing for it was to quickly catch the Tunel train and the ferry.

Walking down to the ferry terminal I passed under a bridge that crosses the water of the Golden Horn, and was amazed at the number of people standing on either side of the bridge fishing. There was not any spaces left. I would not like to sail a boat under that bridge. Looking around the Golden Horn, it seemed that the whole population of Istanbul had taken-up fishing.

Golden Horn Bridge, Istanbul

Golden Horn Bridge

There must be some great memory skills in Turkey.

As we sailed across the Bosphorus I sat in the cold morning air on the outside deck, the sea was awash was quite a swell, and as we entered each trough, the ferry created a spray of salt sea water, refreshing my face, my mind.

As we moored the other side, I noticed how clam the water became, and realised that was the state I was in. Very calm, whilst all about me was in turmoil.

We need to learn this art.

English Evening Session Day 1

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Working with the participants of NLPGrup in Istanbul, Turkey, on a new course, especially the English language courses is a joy, because they are fresh meat. Most have an open mind and want to learn.

Having worked with the man with the largest memory, Gianni Golfera, learnt Accelerated Learning techniques with Lex McKee and the Buzan Organization, it has become apparent that to learn quickly and well the human brain needs to be in a relax state.

We talked about meeting an acquaintance in the street, and the more you search for their name, the more their name disappears, and it is only when drinking a hot chocolate in your favorite coffee shop, will the name pop up, when relaxed.

The hypnotic trance was practiced with the whole group over a twenty minute period. No-one met Peter Pan or visited Never Never Land.

Lunchtime Session Day 1

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I thought I would have nothing to do between the first session of the English course and my lunchtime session.
It came as a surprise having been dragged from the desk I was sitting at all morning acting as head receptionist, to be sitting in a restaurant not far from the office/school, to be told it was 1:30pm. My next module would be at 1:30pm. No food had arrived yet.

The restaurant, Esinti Kanat Evi, an old wooden building of character, overlooking a large carpark, offered comfortable soft seating, and pleasant waiters, but as regards the menu, I have no idea, as the order was given and taken in Turkish, all I could say was pilic or chicken. As every thing in the world tastes of chicken, I am on good ground, I know the taste at least.

Chicken wings arrived presented on a sliced/quartered French bread roll, and very tasty too. No time for cay or tea.

People reading this, may think they can copy my work, but be careful, I am a Certified Trainer of the Society of NLP, I am a member of the NGH (National Guild of Hypnotists), many years of experience under my belt, I may have set traps for you, and certainly will not give away all my tricks.

Racing back to the awaiting participants, I knew what was coming next, what I would teach them.

I need to know that they can control their state, to get into state at will, when required. Mustapha.

Mustapha is one of the strongest tools I teach to all, be that person a police chief, the most senior Air force Office, a businessman, doctor, student, anyone, and certainly the first thing taught.

Fun was had by all, as they learned from me.

How many times? Three.

We learnt about “Oh Poo Poo“. I am on a mission, to spread around the world this saying. When used, this simple statement can make a big difference to our world.

Of course, all I teach needs practice, so perhaps a shower every day, now, let the afternoon be spent in relaxation 

The Start of the English Class

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The day started on the wrong foot for me.

I went to have a shower, I love the early morning shower, it is refreshing, I can wash away the garbage of the previous day and night, as I stand under the warm stream of water, imagining the trash disappearing down the plug.

No water. Oh Poo Poo.

I went to catch the ferry. No ferry. Again, Oh Poo Poo.

I was late. No translator. Oh Poo Poo.

I need Mustapha, Fred, Antonio to help me here. I need the strength physically and mentally to keep that state that says I am confident, I am in control, I am that expert that will see the participants and staff through the twelve hours a day for nine days.

I put Mustapha in place and start the courses, yes there are many levels of students, Elementary, Intermediate, and Advanced, and levels between these levels, all in the same room we call the NLP room.

The NLP room has no chairs, only cushions to relax into, the lights are dimmed. A good relaxing atmosphere.

NLPGrup training rooms in Kadikoy, Istanbul

After the introductions, I tell them about my friend Robyn and myself.

Robyn was a top Rugby Football player in the UK, playing for Nottingham and The Three Counties, a very fit man. If he did not leave the field with no injuries, his ear hanging half off, or his nose broken, it had not been a good game.

We would every Sunday get up early at 7am, and book a squash court at the local sports center. We would play hard, we were good. Sometimes I would win the game, sometimes Robyn.

Because it was early Sunday morning, other squash players were still sleeping, so we could continue into the next session free of charge.

We were good.

During this time I worked for the computer manufacturer NCR, and they started a squash league or ladder, and I was asked to join. Well of cause I was too good to join the ladder, after all, I had my own racket. After three weeks of being asked, pleaded with to join, I succumbed, and joined.

After a few games, I ended up at the bottom of the ladder. Perhaps I was not as good as I thought.

The only game of squash I knew prior to joining the ladder was that of Robyn and myself, we reached a high standard of the game for each other. I knew that if Robyn hit the ball in a certain way, I would have to be in a certain place on the court to hit the ball back, and visa versa for Robyn.

It is only when we have exposure to other people that we can enrich our learnings, to add more to our knowledge base.

I know that I have days when I will not be available to work with the participants, and the same applies to the teachers, so I know the participants will enrich their language skills by learning from others.

I know that as they listen to me, they are learning, as all exposure to anything we do, will have a lasting effect on our inner mind, neural pathways will be lain down.

Perhaps as they listen, some may not know that they do not know English. Before coming to Turkey, before visiting many countries, Italy, China, Arabia, Malaysia, India, I did not know of their languages, the only thing I knew about Turkey was Turkish Delight and Belly Dancers.

As they become consciously aware of the fact that they do not know the English Language, frustration can creep in, perhaps this frustration may lead to them stopping the learning, they must push on.

They soon become aware of the fact that they are learning English, but again they may get frustration in the little that they do know. They must push on.

There comes a time when at a subconscious level they know English, they do not have to try, it becomes implicit, automatic to speak the English Language.

My job is to see them through this process.

Saturday morning blues

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Last night was my last night of freedom in Istanbul, because Saturday morning I start the English course off with introductions and the formalities of attending the course.

So a walk up to Taxim Square. Mixing with the Friday night people, going out for a meal, a drink, just to be with friends.

Saturday morning, did not start well, with no water to the apartment, so no shower. The normal ferry I catch was not there, times of departure must change on a Saturday. I am ten minutes late for the course, and there is no translator. Get on with it, get the course started. I failed in my own standards, to be at the course at least half an hour before the start.

Although I was not a member of the Scouts, I wore long trousers not silly shorts, as I was in the Boys Brigade, I stand by their moto, Be Prepared. The Boys Brigade was “Sure and Steadfast”.

Ok, put a smile on my face, get in there and start the course, the participants are paying the bills and they expect the goods.